


English, History, and the PTA

by Caitybug



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex gets upset with the education system, Alex is clueless and can't tell when anyone flirts with him, Alex teaches history, Fade to black sex, Henry is gay and bad at communicating, Henry teaches english, Henry watches RPDR, M/M, TW: Homophobia, Teacher AU, and they talk about it., aren't we all tho?, bc I'm a lesbian and penises aren't my forte, but it's a school, get in we're criticizing America's educational system, miscommunication killed Romeo and Juliet and it'll kill us in this fic too, no ACTUAL shooting in this fic, so is Alex tbh, tw: school shootings, typical firstprince rivalry shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 68,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23164081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitybug/pseuds/Caitybug
Summary: At 25, Alex thought his life was going to be a lot different. He was supposed to be graduating from law school and starting his career in politics, but instead he finds himself at his old high school, preparing to teach teenagers.What happens when the English teacher and he get into a riff? And the PTA tries to fight him on teaching an LGBT history course?Alex may have thought that he could only make a difference in politics, but he certainly can make some history as a teacher as well.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 628
Kudos: 518





	1. Hard Lemonade, Harder Times

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you all enjoy the teacher AU that no one asked for. 
> 
> I'm going to be updating this after I complete each chapter, so I'm sorry if the upload schedule isn't consistent. 
> 
> Check out my Tumblr! [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)

Alex stands in front of the school of which he was about to spend the next year. It didn’t look like anything special. The walls are brick, there is a circle drive for parents and buses to drop off kids, and the windows are large and heavily tinted. If there was a picture of a typical public school, Hamilton High School would be it. Hamilton High was not only the place where Alex graduated from, but also the school his older sister, June, is currently vice-principal. 

He would be lying if he said June wasn’t the reason he was working here. Alex thought he’d be in politics, running for a position in government at this point (he had been determined to be in the senate by 30), or maybe even working as a lawyer. He wants to fight the system and make the world better. 

Not that teaching won’t help the world be better. Alex had always wanted to make a difference in the world. Alex never thought he’d be standing in a room to teach _teenagers._

But if Alex is anything, he’s willing to rise to a challenge. Alex’s bleeding heart knew he would love these students, push them, and help them grow into independent thinkers that could change the world. 

If he wasn’t the one actively changing the world around him, he wanted to be the one helping others do so. 

Or, at least, that’s what he’s telling himself. 

“Are you coming in or not?” June shouts from the doorway, pulling Alex from his thoughts.

“Yes!” He grabs his bag from Nora’s car, giving her a wave as she talks on the phone, and walks to the door, ready for June to show him around. 

“Finally,” She sighs, swiping them into the second set of doors. “Now you’ve seen most of this place during your interview with Zahra right?”

“Yes,” Alex nods. “Not much has changed from when we went here, Bug.” 

“Please don’t call me that here.” She glares at him. 

“Sorry, Ms. Claremont-Diaz.” He winks, following her to his classroom. She rolls her eyes, but continues down the hallway. 

There are lines of lockers, all a deep blue color, contrasting greatly against the grey walls and tiled floor. Bulletin boards are blank since teachers have just started to arrive. It feels empty, and Alex can’t help but feel a bit eerie about it. 

“So, do you have any questions?” June asks Alex. She stops in front of what Alex assumes is his classroom, an eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip.

Alex shakes his head in response, peering into the room. His name is already posted outside of it, and there is a beige doorstop sitting outside of the door. 

“Okay, well please don’t be a pain for the janitors trying to clean before school starts.” She starts walking down the hallway. “I’ll see you at mom’s tonight for family dinner!”

Alex lets out a deep sigh before walking into his classroom. It’s barren except for the desks. He walks over to the other side of the room, where a chalkboard is latched onto the wall. 

“I didn’t even think schools still had these,” Alex whispers to himself. He grabs a broken piece of chalk and writes _Mr. Claremont-Diaz_ on the board. It feels weird, thinking of people only calling him by his last name (names?) but it is something he will have to get used to. 

He turns around and pushes up his sleeves, taking in everything around him, and debating what he wants to do. After a moment he sighs, then gets started on moving everything in the room. If he is going to get this room ready for kids to learn in, he has a lot of work.

Alex works for a few hours, interrupted only once by Nora coming in to make comments about the mess the previous teacher left him. She says they need to leave in half an hour, so Alex continues to work, only to lose track of time again. 

“Alex hurry up,” Nora whines from the doorway. “We’ve got dinner at your parents’.” She taps her foot for emphasis. 

“What time is it?” Alex says from the floor. He’d been working on a file system to stay organized throughout the year. It was going to be a feat if it actually lasted. “I thought I had half an hour?”

“Yes, that was an hour ago.” Nora groans. “Now seriously, or I’m leaving without you. Hurry up.” 

Alex stands up, groaning a bit from sitting on the tiled floor for so long. He grabs his bag and makes his way to the hall with Nora. 

“I shouldn’t have said yes to a job where so many of my close friends work.”

“You have two friends, don’t be ridiculous.” Nora scoffs. “And one of them is your sister, so does she even count?”

“I have more friends than just the two of you.” Alex mumbles. 

“Name five,” Nora responds, pushing open the door to the parking lot. 

Alex blanks for a moment, but he tells himself it’s only because his brain is fried. 

“I have nothing to prove to you.” 

“Exactly.” She laughs. “Maybe you’ll finally make another friend here and get off my ass.” 

Alex frowns, walking to Nora’s car. He has more friends than just the two of them. He was friends with Liam for years, they just haven’t talked recently. 

Maybe he should reach out. 

“Do you know what we are having for dinner?” Nora asks as they get into the car. 

“Either mom is grilling burgers, or we are ordering pizza,” Alex responds.

“What about fries?” Nora genuinely sounds worried. 

“If we are having burgers I’m sure we can have fries too.”

“Okay good.” She sighs and turns up the radio as she pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Did June already leave?” Alex didn’t see her car in the lot anymore. 

“Yes, she went to pick up liquor or beer. 

“I love her.” Alex sighs. Alcohol sounds delicious right about now. 

“She is truly a gift to this world.” Nora sighs. “We’ll need all the beer we can get as we approach the beginning of the school year.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you ready?”

“Are you?”

“Nope. Never am. Somehow it always works out.” She shrugs. 

“Then I’ll be okay I’m sure.” 

It’s comforting to hear from someone who has done this before that no matter what it’s chaotic at the beginning of the year. Nora decided to teach three years ago at the school, teaching statistics and calculus. Alex couldn’t imagine wanting to do that for more than a day, but everybody has their preferences. 

Alex was going to be teaching American Government, Western Civilization, and he was able to teach an elective course as well. They had been decided for him by the previous teacher, but this first semester Alex decided to teach a civil rights course. This class made him feel excited at the very least. 

“Stop thinking about work.” She pokes his cheek. 

“Is that possible?” 

“Not for you, it seems.” Nora laughs. “Trust me, teaching is already an all-consuming profession. Just enjoy the process, and try to help your students learn.”

Nora wasn’t lying. Alex had a work problem and often made himself sick over it. When he went through college he pushed himself to be involved in too much, worked for his mom in the senate to stay close to the world of politics, and also worked to keep a 4.0 GPA. 

Alex didn’t know how to do things halfway. He either poured everything into a project, or he ignored it completely. There was no in-between. 

**The Hamilton Trio**

** Bug **

**** **Are you guys almost back?**

**Mom is wanting to know if**

**she can start grilling.**

“June texted,” Alex tells Nora. “Looks like we’re getting burgers.”

“Askaboutthefries.” She says almost too quickly for Alex to understand. 

** Alejandro **

******nora wants to know if** **there will be fries**

**Bug**

**** **Yes. Of course.**

**What else would we have?**

** Chaos Demon **

**** **Last time your mom made**

**grilled asparagus and thought**

**it was fine! I’ve been scarred for life!**

** Bug **

**** **STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING!**

“How does she know?” Nora shouts and throws her phone in the back seat. 

“She knows you. Besides, she is right, you should focus on _not_ hitting the neighbors mailbox.” Alex laughs. “Our house is coming up anyways.” He points ahead at the familiar paneling of their house. 

“I know where your house is Alejandro.” She glares at Alex as she sharply turns into their driveway. “Now come on, let’s get our food.” She swiftly parks and darts out of the car, running towards June.”

Alex rolls his eyes but follows her to the back deck, where his mother, Ellen, and his stepfather, Leo, are making food. 

“Yes, Nora, I have fries in the oven,” Ellen says, exasperation clear in her voice. “I got your five texts this morning.”

“Nora, you’re seriously still on this?” June asks. She is sitting on a metal chair next to the table, feet leaning on the leg of the chair next to her. 

“I make grilled asparagus ONE TIME.” Ellen waves her hands in defeat, walking away from the grill. Leo walks over to grab the spatula and check the burgers. 

“I need potatoes.” Nora shrugs, taking a seat in the chair beside June, who is rolling her eyes and reaching for her drink.

“What do you have there?” Alex asks, pointing at her glass. “And how do I get some?”

“Mom made spiked lemonade, it’s in the kitchen if you want it.” She snatches her glass out of his reach, right as he tries to grab it. 

“Fine.” He huffs, walking to the kitchen to grab himself one. 

“Grab me one too!” Nora shouts after him. 

“Sure sure,” He calls back, going to grab a cup from a cabinet. 

Alex walks past Ellen, who’s grabbing cheese and a plate for the burgers, and dodges Leo as he pulls a pan of fries from the oven, to go to the pitcher on the counter and pours two glasses of lemonade. 

“How crispy do we need these fries?” Leo ponders. Alex looks over and picks up a fry.

“Careful-” Leo starts.

“It’s fine.” Alex tosses the fry in his mouth and immediately regrets his decision. 

“It’s hot.” Leo chuckles.

“I see.” Alex swallows after a moment. “But they could use a few more minutes. Too soft.” 

Leo nods and puts the pan back in, turning the heat up a bit, before grabbing the buns and walking out to the deck with the rest of the family. Alex takes a gulp from his glass, feeling the warm burn of the vodka go down his throat, easing his nerves a bit. 

“Alex bring ketchup when you come back!” Ellen shouts out at him. 

“Will do!”

Alex reaches into the fridge for the bottle of ketchup and fills his glass up the rest of the way before walking out on the deck, and the chaos that is the last moments before food is set on the table. 

Nora and June are deep in a whispered conversation, Leo is helping gather food on plates, Ellen is melting cheese and toasting buns, and Alex is setting the ketchup down on the table, passing a drink to Nora and settling down himself. 

“How long until the fries burn?” June asks Alex.

“I give it another minute until Leo realizes that he turned up the heat and left them to sit in the oven.” 

“Oh my god please don’t joke about that.” Nora whines. She gets up. “I’ll go get the fries.” And she disappears into the kitchen, leaving June and Alex laughing. 

“Are you ready for all the meetings this week?” June asks, taking a sip from her drink after. 

“I’m sure it’ll be good.” Alex shrugs. “How bad can they be?”

“You have no idea what kinds of meetings teachers have to sit through before the year begins,” June smirks. “And you have a first-year teacher mentor meeting too.”

“Oh yeah,” Alex perks up. “I have Luna, right? I loved him when I was a student. I’m glad to have him as a mentor now too.” 

“He requested you specifically. Said you’d be bugging him anyways so he thought he may as well.” 

“I would take offense, but he is completely correct.” 

He’s about to start asking questions about the rest of the staff, but then the burgers, fries, and toppings are all placed on the table and he can’t think of anything other than his growling stomach. Ellen talks about her day in the senate, June talks about getting the year started, Nora eats fries, Leo chimes in when he feels necessary, and Alex, for once, sits back and lets everyone’s conversations wash over him. 

Usually, Alex is loud and active in the conversations around him, but with the chaos of the week approaching, he can’t help but observe and enjoy the presence of everyone around him. 

When they leave, Nora and Alex in one car, June in the other, he’s full both of food and joy. 

“I love your mother,” Nora says, patting her stomach as she does so. “If Leo hadn’t gotten on that train, I might have tried to marry her.”

“You and I were dating when that happened.”

“I stand by my sentiment.” She shrugs. 

June, Nora, and Alex, all live in the same apartment building. The three of them have been a trio since high school, often referring to themselves as the ‘Hamilton Trio’ (hence the name of their group chat.) 

Even when they went separate ways, the three of them stayed in contact and remained close. Being in the same place, working together, feels more natural than anything else. 

Having the two of them around is what helps Alex through this, and through feeling like he failed something. They never treated Alex like he was a failure for not becoming a politician or lawyer, and welcomed him with open arms when he took a break from law school, allowing him a place to teach at his school. 

It’s not that he didn’t _want_ to be a lawyer. It was that Alex wasn’t in a healthy place. Alex consistently poured himself into his work, to an extreme degree. He was in law school at Georgetown and was killing himself to stay ahead of the pack. All of his family was back in Texas, and therefore he didn’t have anyone to pull him from his stupor. 

Alex didn’t want to admit it, but he needed someone to snap him out of it. It was June who eventually saw the familiar signs of Alex dipping down, and flew out to help him get out of his own head. 

She’s also the one who offered him a job back in Austin, if he should want to go back. 

He was hesitant at first but knew it would be for the best. He could transfer schools, or maybe just take a year off. 

Alex couldn’t help but feel like he failed something, no matter how normal his family made it all feel. 

Teaching would be a temporary situation, but hopefully, Alex will be able to use the time to figure out his next step. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to check me out on Tumblr :)
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	2. Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes, Bitchy Attitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staff meetings, bitchy coworkers, and first day of school nerves.

“Okay everyone, let’s get started,” Zahra says at the front of the room. 

Alex takes his coffee and sits down next to Nora. June’s at the front with Zahra helping with the presentation. It’s the first staff meeting of the year, which means they’re about to be subjected to hours of schedule discussions, safety drills, and at least one awkward parent conversation. (The PTA is here dolling out appreciation breakfast food for the staff. For some reason they keep eyeing Alex up and down. He’s not sure if it’s a race thing, age thing, or maybe a _sister got him his job_ thing.) (One of the mom’s winks at him, making him even _more_ confused.)

“At least Zahra doesn’t make us do ice breakers,” Nora whispers to Alex. 

“Thank god.” Alex sighs. Ice breakers. The one true hell of being back in school. Nothing feels more awkward or more stressful than standing up in front of a group of people spouting _fun facts_ about yourself. He told himself when he took this job that he wouldn’t be that teacher. So it’s relieving to hear that he won’t be put through that himself. 

Zahra quickly goes through her points, making sure everyone knows the expectations before she hands it off to the next person to present. She’s always very efficient, which makes Alex grateful. 

“Who’s that?” Alex whispers to Nora as another teacher stands up. She’s been walking him through the ins and outs of the teacher community here. (Some of them he knows from his high school days, but not everyone.) (It’s good to know who to avoid at least.)

He expected the meeting to only be led by Zahra and June- not other teachers. Especially not a blonde hair, blue-eyed, and casual but cool looking one. Nora twists in her see to look at the man Alex is referring to. He walks to the front, unknowingly being examined by Alex. He looks about Alex’s age, seemingly a bit taller than him. (Much more… posh?) (There’s no other way to describe it.)

“It’s Henry Fox,” she responds. “He teaches English to the sophomores and juniors and runs the creative writing course.” 

“Why is he presenting?” Alex asks. He’s not looking at her, just watching him. (Henry.) His lips are moving, a small and comforting smile rests on his face. Alex can’t seem to hear anything he’s saying, his brain only focusing on the physical bits of him for now. 

“If you listened you’d know,” she huffs. 

Alex rolls his eyes, continuing to watch the presenter at the front of the room, finally letting his words get absorbed into his brain. He’s calmly talking about committee sign-ups, and Alex can’t help but think of which ones he might sign up for. 

(Alex was always a sucker for a committee.)

“Thanks so much for listening! If you have any more questions, just let me know.” He smiles and walks back to his table. 

Alex blinks slowly as he adjusts his vision of Henry. His voice is thick with a posh English accent, and he holds himself with an air of confidence and poise, making others listen and pay attention. 

Alex is fiery and explosive making people forced to listen to him, but where Alex is fire and passion, Henry is calm and collected. It’s only amplified by his outfit choices as well. The calm, well-dressed english teacher. Henry’s wearing a white button-up, a deep blue bowtie, and a grey cardigan. The man he sits next to is wearing a printed top, has bright blue painted nails, and very light blonde hair. (They’re a stark contrast between each other. But somehow they fit.) (In a _these patterns shouldn’t work but we make them look fucking amazing_ kind of way.)

Alex can’t help but want to know more. (Why’s he here? In _Texas_ of all places?) (Who’s his friend?) (Why is he wearing a fucking _bowtie_ to a staff meeting?)

“Did you even hear a word he said?” June says, hitting his shoulder. 

“Uh,” Alex responds, coming back to his surroundings. “He told us thanks for listening, and to ask him questions later if we have them.”

“Yes, but _before_ that.” She glares at him, and Alex thinks, for a moment, about the poor students that will be on the other end of June’s wrath. (They should be scared. Truly and completely frightened.) 

“He was talking about committees to join.” Nora yawns. “Why you pawn that job off on him is beyond me.” 

June rolls her eyes then stands up and starts speaking to room about rules with the copy machine, laminator, and lunch duties. ( _Lunch duty?_ ) (Is nothing sacred?) 

Alex can’t help but peer over at the man across the room from him, wondering what his story is. 

**____________**

After the meeting, Alex finds himself wandering the halls, searching for where this teacher’s room is. It doesn’t take Alex long before he finds it. Henry’s room rests down the hall from his own, close enough that he could probably hear any ruckus that occurs if he left the door open. 

The first thing Alex notices when he walks in is how _cozy_ it is. Henry has a couch in the back, a rug under his desk, and a few ceiling tiles painted on his ceiling. When Alex takes a closer look he realizes they’re each of a different book, seemingly from different classes. (At least, judging by the small year painted in the corner of each.)

“Can I help you?” His voice comes from under his desk, strained by whatever he’s working on. “Bit busy at the moment.”

“Uh, I just wanted to introduce myself.” Alex starts, frowning in confusion. 

He starts walking towards Henry’s desk to take a look when the teacher Henry was with earlier comes in, bumping him as he walks by. 

“Sorry mate,” he says, bags in hand. “Henry I’ve got the takeaway.”

Alex hears a _thunk_. 

“Ouch,” Henry groans from under the table. 

“You alright there?” The other teacher laughs, putting the bag of food on his desk.

“Yes yes Pez,” he says. Alex finally sees Henry stand up, a hand rubbing a spot on the back of his head, face contorted in obvious pain. “Can we do this later, I’m a bit busy right now.” Henry directs towards Alex. His voice is cold and a bit cruel. Alex feels the clear implication that Henry would rather anyone _but_ him be here right now. 

No introduction or welcome to the school. _Can we do this later?_ Alex gets the feeling Henry sees him as an intruder, that he doesn’t _plan_ to speak to him later. Alex nods and walks out of the room. 

The interaction didn’t end up being what he thought it was going to be and Alex can’t help the bad taste in his mouth from it. 

(What _did_ he think it was going to be like?) (Rainbows and butterflies and hugs?) (Crumpets and tea?)

Alex shakes his head. 

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Nora asks as she walks by him. “You look upset.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Alex says, bouncing back from the interaction. He’s not going to let some dick make him feel like he doesn’t belong here. “Just went to talk to Henry.”

“Oh,” Nora replies. “He’s pretty cool right?”

“A pretty cool _jerk_ ,” Alex mutters. 

“What do you mean? Fox is a delight. And you _know_ that’s true if I say it.” 

“Well apparently not to me.” Alex looks down the hall at the door hiding Henry and his friend. (Probably talking about the dumb new teacher.)

“I’m sure it’s not you. Try again another time.” She sighs, looking toward her classroom door. “I’ve got to go have a meeting with the other math teachers, will you be good?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

She pats his shoulder and lets him walk off. 

**____________**

Alex is at his apartment, drinking a beer and staring at the ceiling, wallowing in his feelings. 

It’s not that he was _nervous_ about his first day as a teacher, because he definitely wasn’t—but this wasn’t where he thought he’d be. 

He should be finishing his law degree this year, graduating even. He should be either working as a lawyer or going straight into politics. 

_The great five year Claremont-Diaz plan._

Instead, Alex is in his apartment planning _get to know you_ activities (which he is _desperately_ making sure don’t turn into cheesy icebreakers.) He’s had several dreams where he’s suddenly teaching naked in front of his students (he’s been nervously checking to make sure his pants are still on all day.) Not to mention he’s been hit on by three different single moms from the school PTA.

**Chaos Demon**

**Monday, August 15th, 8:57pm**

**Stop panicking, you’ll be good.**

Nora, despite all of her faults, always manages to hit the nail right on the head. 

He throws his phone off to the side, letting it be for the night (it’ll be for the best to ignore it), and walks to his room to get his clothes ready for the next day. 

Alex tells himself he does it to make the morning easier. But really it’s like he’s a kid again—jittery and anxious for the first day of school. 

(Why did no one ever tell him teachers got just as scared about school as the students did?)

Maybe it would have eased his nerves as a kid. Similar to when people tell you spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them. (Though he still finds that hard to believe.)

It’s a comfort, really. 

Regardless, Alex can’t help but show up to school too early. He wakes up before his alarm, tries to stretch out his morning routine (but somehow it takes him less time than normal to get ready), and gets to school half an hour before anyone is supposed to be there. 

It’s the first day of school, so it’s only a half day schedule, but he still can’t stop the jitters. He’s nothing but nervous energy and sweaty palms. 

He’s opening his room up when he sees Henry walk by. 

Henry has a white button-up shirt, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and navy blue pants. Alex doesn’t see Henry’s front, but he’s sure Henry is wearing a tie too. The thought alone makes Alex roll his eyes. He’s far too dressed up for school, and it makes Alex _seethe_. 

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? First, he can’t even be _nice_ to Alex when he meets him, and then he has the _audacity_ to show up looking like some _posh tosser._

Alex can’t even insult him without hearing his insufferable accent and British lingo. 

He manages to not say anything to Henry and turns on the classroom light, taking in what is about to be the first day to a new experience, a new life. There’s already a flickering fluorescent light above his desk, which Alex _desperately_ wants to be rid of. 

He turns off one set of lights, making it dimmer in the room, but gets rid of the flickering light. Alex moves to his desk, putting his coffee down on his desk. His desk is _okay_ , but it definitely shows how new he is. Everyone who has worked here before has claimed the good desks, so Alex’s is chipped, a bit broken (and only not wobbly because he put a copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ under one of the legs), and one of the drawers is stuck closed. 

He already has the date and his name written on the board, along with the first question he’s going to ask the class to journal about. 

_'What effect do you hope to have on history, and why?'_

Alex was planning to let it be very open in order to see how students would respond. Maybe they’d be specific to the history of this school, Austin, Texas, America, or even the world. Whatever it would be, Alex is intrigued to see what his students would write. 

“Hey little bro,” June knocks on his door before walking in. She’s got on a black pencil skirt and a pink blouse tucked into the waistband. It’s professional and chic. The perfect administrator OOTD. “I got you a snack.” She smirks, tossing an apple to him. 

Alex laughs when he catches it. “Should I be worried about a worm in it?”

“Not today.” She winks. “I save those for the second day.”

“What a great administrator you are.” 

“Let’s hope,” she responds, shrugging slightly. 

This is her first year in her role, and at almost 28 years old, she can’t help but take it a little _too_ seriously. 

It’s a little young for an administrator, and she knows it, so she’s working hard to make sure people take her seriously. 

Alex just hopes he survives. 

“Good luck,” she says, waving at him and walking out of his room. “Let’s get lunch after.”

“It better be Chipotle!” He shouts. 

“Did someone say Chipotle?” He hears Nora shout down the hall. 

Alex chuckles, nerves starting to ease.

_Some things really never change._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Feel free to check out my [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	3. Two Guys, Burgers and Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's first day. Five Guys with a mentor. Alex's desk is held together by a book. 
> 
> Unfortunately, he had to choose the one book Henry needs to teach from to hold his desk up.

Students start rolling in the hallways, helping spike Alex’s adrenaline. They’re chatting, messing around, and searching for their lockers. The first day of school brings with it excitement, reunions, and a breeze of ease. Students get to see friends, show how they’ve grown, and meet their new teachers. 

What could go wrong?

Alex’s first class is with a group of seniors for American Government. He greets students at the door, trying to have an air of maturity, grace, but also still have his fiery cool nature be apparent. Alex wants the students to respect him, but he refuses to be uptight and rigid in the structure of his room. 

Some of the girls walk by and start giggling, making Alex wonder if he has something on his face (he checked 8 times at home, and another in the bathroom before school), he does a subtle check in the reflection of the door’s window and sees nothing.

Weird. 

When the bell rings Alex closes the door and takes a look around the room. It’s aggressively  _ high school _ . As he walks to his desk he pulls an airpod out of a students’ ear, placing it quietly on the desk, and continues to walk without acknowledging it. When he turns back around the student’s face is red, so at least he got the memo. 

There is the way too attentive student at the front of the room, ready with a notepad and colored flare pens to take notes, the student with his hood up in the back row, looking like he wants to be anywhere besides here, and almost any other stereotype you could think of. All in one room. 

Alex’s skin is buzzing as he introduces himself. Why did no one tell him how  _ stupid _ everything sounds when you’re talking to a class full of students? His mouth feels numb, and he can’t stop himself. 

He can’t help but think about what to do with his hands, how many times he has said the word  _ excited _ , and why do the girls keep making weird eyes at each other?

Class goes by so fast he doesn’t get through half of what he thought he would. The class leaves, Alex’s throat itches, and his brain feels fuzzy. Teaching is  _ exhausting _ . How is he expected to get through two more? 

When classes do end for the day (thank god it's a half-day), Alex collapses in his chair, head buzzing with information and mouth tingly from talking so much. He hadn’t thought about what having so many students would do to him. How was he supposed to remember their names? There was a set of twins in one class... How was he going to remember who was who? 

_ And was it his second or third hour that had the kid who carries around an EpiPen? _

“You look exhausted,” June mutters from the doorway. 

“Tell me again why teachers make shit pay?” Alex mutters, undoing the top button of his shirt. 

“Because the government doesn’t put stock in education.” June shrugs, untucking her top from her skirt. “Still want lunch?”

“Desperately.” Alex moans. 

“Great,” A voice comes from behind June. Alex looks up and sees Rafael Luna standing behind June. 

“Oh, hi,” Alex says, perking up and sitting upright. 

Luna was one of Alex’s teachers when he was in school. He was young, scrappy, and bold. Alex looked up to him, hoping to bring with him what Luna taught in his social studies classes to the real world. Alex had essentially replaced Luna, as he decided to move down to teach the freshman along with teaching an advanced placement (AP) American History class. Luna also runs the debate team and is a coach for the lacrosse team. 

Alex, of course, was on both back in the day. Not because of Luna per se (though it helped). 

They just had a lot in common. To be back at this school now, with Luna as his mentor teacher, it feels as if Alex has come full circle. 

“Want to get a burger?” He smiles, coming over to sit at the desk closest to Alex’s. “You can tell me all about the juniors. I had them last year, and they are an interesting bunch.” 

“Okay, but really what is Allison’s problem?” Alex perks up. He wondered how long it was going to take for teacher gossip to happen. 

“Man we’ve been trying to figure that out since day one,” Luna chuckles. “If you manage to, please share it with us all.”

“I can’t stay in here while the two of you  _ gossip about students _ .” June glares, turning to leave. “I assume you’re good for lunch then Alex?” She asks but doesn’t wait for a response before walking off down the hall. Probably heading towards Nora’s room. 

“Let’s head out.” He says, standing up and flattening out his pants a bit. 

Alex reaches for his wallet. He ponders for a moment if he should bring any work home with him. 

It was only the first day, he can give himself a break. 

“Five Guys?” Luna asks, a smirk on his face.

“Just like with lacrosse?” Alex laughs, following Luna out of his classroom and down the hall. “I swear we’d go there so often when we would have to travel. You’d think a coach would have made us eat.. I don’t know… salads?”

“God no,” Luna gasps. “I couldn’t imagine playing a game and then eating crunchy water. Nah, you boys deserved actual food.”

“I could probably still recite your order from memory.”

“Atta boy,” He pats Alex on his back, moving to get into his car. “I’ll meet you there?”

He doesn’t need to tell Alex which one. There was only ever one. 

“Last one there has to get a hot dog instead of a burger.”

“Don’t fuck with me kid.” His face gets serious, then he closes his car door and drives off, Alex following close behind. 

Luckily, they both arrive at the same time. 

“So,” Luna starts, mouth full of burger. “How was the first day?”

“I felt so stupid talking for so long.” Alex sighs. “Will that ever get better?”

“Oh yeah.” Luna nods, swallowing his bite before continuing. “You remember my first day? You were in my first class.”

“Yeah, I thought you were pretty cool actually,” Alex remembers. Luna was suave and calm, whereas Alex was nothing but a race of emotions and fiery arguments that year. (Every year.)

“See, that’s what you remember. That’s not how I remember it.” 

“How do you remember it?”

“Well, I remember I spilled coffee down the jacket I was wearing, which I had put on to make myself look more professional. So I had to let that dream die quickly.” Rafael laughs at the memory. “Then the copier broke so my syllabus wasn’t printed. And, of course, I felt like I was standing in front of a room of crickets with how silent you were all being.”

“Wow,” Alex whistles. “I never knew.”

“Teaching isn’t for the weak for sure. You feel like your life is falling apart and it’s chaotic, but you gotta lean into it.” Luna shrugs. “Flexibility is key here Alex. Don’t let any kid, parent, or admin get you off your game.”

Alex nods, taking a bite of his burger. 

“Didn’t help there was this idiot kid at the front of my room that kept pushing me to start teaching actual materials on fucking syllabus day,” Luna mutters. Alex chokes. 

“Was I that bad?”

“Oh yeah, you were awful. You tested me and pushed me more than anyone else. But you were one of my favorites too. It’s a weird balance. The most annoying still somehow grow on your heart. And now here we are,” Luna waves around the room. “Eating together and acting cordial. First-day teacher me would have never thought that.”

The two of them continue talking, discussing memories, where other students from Alex’s class are, and pretending to go over the teacher mentor handbook. 

Alex leaves full, happy, and ready to tackle the next day. 

**____________**

Two weeks of school pass and Alex finally feels like he is getting into a groove. He’s identified which students participate too much, which participate too little, and who is going to cause him the most trouble.

Everything seems to be going smoothly. That is until Henry comes into his room. 

“Hello Alex,” He starts, looking around the room. “You haven’t seen a Pride and Prejudice book lying around, have you?”

“I’m sorry?” Alex was only half-listening, instead focusing on grading papers. 

Henry doesn’t repeat himself. Instead, he looks down at the bottom of Alex’s desk and looks furious. 

“You must be kidding me right now.” Henry walks over and bends down.

“What the hell are you doing?” Alex stands up and looks over. That’s when he sees it.  _ Pride and Prejudice _ . He forgot putting it under his desk to make it level before school started. “Oh god, so sorry Henry. Give me a second and I’ll get another book.”

But as he says it Henry is standing up, book in hand. 

“Bloody...” Henry starts, but then a crash happens behind him. Without the book holding it up, Alex’s desk tilts over and, with it, a majority of its contents. 

“Fuck,” Alex says, running to try to catch his coffee mug. 

When it crashes he turns to Henry.

“You couldn’t have waited a fucking moment to get the book? Obviously my desk was being held up by it.”

“Why did you have to use this book? Isn’t there a dictionary somewhere you could have used?”

“Too thick,” Alex glares, moving towards Henry. 

Neither of them sees the group of students in the doorway, watching the events unfold before them. 

“But, Pride and Prejudice?” Henry sighs. “Out of all the books. You had to know this one would be needed.”

“No, I didn’t. It was sitting in my room with a pile of dust on it, seemingly unimportant.” 

Henry sighs. 

“I’ll help you pick it all up.” Henry moves to put the book down, but Alex grabs his arm. 

“No, don’t bother. You’ve done enough for the day.”

“It’s not as if I meant for-”

“I think you definitely meant for that to happen.” Alex cuts him off. 

Henry jerks his arm out of Alex’s grip, giving Alex a death glare. 

“Why are you being a complete arse?” Henry asks. His accent only makes Alex even angrier. 

“I’m being an  _ arse _ , huh?” Alex shouts, using Henry’s infuriating British accent. “You’ve done nothing but be a jerk to me since the beginning.” 

“How?” Henry asks, matching Alex’s tone. 

“You fucking-” Alex starts. 

“Excuse you!” A voice comes through the door. Alex and Henry turn and finally see the group of students. A few are laughing, another few have cell phones out. 

Zahra walks into the doorway, giving Alex a look he could only describe as something a person sees before they are actually murdered. 

“Mr. Fox, Mr. Claremont-Diaz.” She states, an eerie feeling of calm radiating off of her. 

It feels like the calm of a beach as the tides roll back before a tsunami. Alex holds his breath, waiting for the punishment. He turns to look at Henry and sees a red tinge on his ears. 

At least he isn’t the only one feeling embarrassed. 

“Students,” She turns around to the students. “Are you supposed to have a class here right now?”

A few sheepishly shake their heads.

“Then head to your  _ actual _ classes before you’re tardy.”

Slowly the students scatter, and Alex and Henry stand awkwardly in the silence. Zahra walks to the door and closes it softly before turning around. 

“What the  _ fuck _ do you think the two of you are doing?” 

“Well, he-” Alex starts.

“I’m sorry,” She holds up a hand. “I actually don’t care. I couldn’t give a fuck more if I tried.”

Alex closes his mouth, lips forming a tight line. 

“You two are adults.” She steps forward. Alex feels the sudden urge to step back but sees Henry standing his ground, head hung low and eyebrows drawn in tight, and decides it’s better he doesn’t. “I don’t allow students to behave like this in school, and I don’t allow my teachers, who should know better, to behave in this manner either.”

Alex sees Henry nod, so he mimics the gesture. Best just keep his head low and let it happen. Nothing he can do now. 

“So here is what is going to happen.” She sighs. “You’re both going to be on Saturday detention duty for the remaining semester.”

Alex groans and she immediately shuts him up with a glare. 

“If you so much as breathe wrong you’ll also be chaperoning every dance for the next five years.” She pauses. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Alex mutters at the same time Henry does. 

“Great, now go back to your fucking job.” Zahra turns around sharply and walks out of the room. Henry looks at Alex for a moment, sighs, and walks off. 

Maybe this year was going to be harder than Alex thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this and the shenanigans. 
> 
> Feel free to check out my [ Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	4. Excuses and Pained Agreements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has to own up to what happened with Henry and serves his first Saturday detention duty with him.

“So is it true?” Nora asks Alex, jogging up to catch him in the parking lot. “You and Henry Fox got into a fight in the middle of the hall?”

“In the middle of the hall?” Alex swings around and stops to look at her. “What did you hear?”

“I heard you and Fox got into a fight, threw fists, and Zahra had to get security involved.”

“Where did you hear that?” Nora shrugs.

“Kids talk man.”

Alex groans.

“Okay first off, it wasn’t in the hall-” He starts

“Oh my god, so you did fight!”

“Shush, it’s my storytime now.” Alex rubs his face with his hands and puts his bag on the trunk of his car. “We were in my room and he messed with my desk. It wasn’t my fault!”

“Likely story,” Nora says, sarcasm heavy in her voice.

“It’s true! He took the book holding my desk up without waiting for me to hold the desk even. All my shit fell off.” Alex sighs. “It kind of escalated from there.”

Nora lets out a low whistle. 

“I know.” Alex grabs his bag. “Trust me I know how bad it sounds.”

“Is it true you got detention?” She raises an eyebrow and smirks at him. 

“No,” He mutters. “We do have detention  _ duty _ though.”

“Same thing.” Nora shrugs. Alex hits her shoulder and she starts to laugh, curls bouncing on her shoulders. 

“I can’t believe Alex, goody-two-shoes Alex Claremont-Diaz, got detention as a fucking  _ teacher _ . That’s impressive my dude.”

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Alex replies, laughing too. 

The whole thing seems a little less daunting now that Nora is standing next to him, joking and making him feel like maybe it’s not all that bad. 

“You little fucker!” June shouts from across the parking lot. 

“Well, you’re on your own.” Nora pats his shoulder and heads for her car. “Good luck!”

“Fuck you,” Alex replies. 

“I fucking can’t believe-” June starts when she gets to Alex.

“Shh, June, don’t cause a scene now.”

“Me?” She shouts. “I’m causing a scene? Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Am I the pot in this scenario? I always thought I was more of a griddle. Maybe one of those George Foreman-”

She hits his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you’d do this.”  _ Fuck _ she’s really upset. 

“Look, Bug-”

“Don’t ‘look, Bug’ me.” She points a finger in his face. “You better fix this.”

Alex nods, feeling a sinking sensation in his gut swell up that he tried to keep down all day. He’s good at not letting it show when he is bothered, but teaching and not being in the right headspace aren’t compatible. Alex spent the rest of the day off his game. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it comes out more horse than he expects. It seems to catch June off guard too because she softens a bit. “It wasn’t my intention, and I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

“Alex,” she sighs. “Just try to fix it. Please do not fuck this up even more. You could do really great things for the kids here. They need more young and passionate teachers like you.” She pauses for a moment, pursing her lips and putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “You could probably use them too if we are being honest.”

Alex nods his head and looks down at his feet. June reaches out and rubs his shoulder. 

“It’ll be okay.” She drops her hand and shifts her bag on her arm. “I’ll see you at family dinner Sunday?”

“Of course,” Alex replies, still not looking up. He hears June’s footsteps as she walks away and he turns to his car. 

Alex is many things. He’s wickedly smart, funny, charming (at least to people without British accents and insufferable teacher outfit choices), and passionate. However, he’s recently started wondering if there is another thing he needs to add to his list: a fuck up. 

It’s not that Alex isn’t  _ confident _ \- he is, almost to a fault. But between all his five-year, ten-year, or lifelong plans Alex never accounted for this. Not reaching his goal, falling short. 

It’s certainly brought him down a peg if anything. 

He walks into his apartment, the sun is already starting to set so it leaves a little orange glow to the place. Alex walks to the coffee pot, starts brewing, and comes up with a plan. 

This time he isn’t going to fail. He’s not going to mess this up. Especially not for someone as pompous as Henry. 

Sunday dinner comes, and it’s ribs. Alex is salivating walking into his mother’s home. She’s in the back grilling, Leo is mowing the front lawn, and Nora and June are in the kitchen making sides. 

It’s a flawless system. Alex takes off his shoes and walks out to the deck, ready to help his mother with the food. 

“Oh there you are Alex,” She says, leaning over to kiss the top of his head. “How’re things going?”

“They’re alright.” Alex reaches over for the apron Ellen brought out for him. It’s light blue, faded and stained from the time June spilled wine on him. “How’s everything in the senate?”

“You know how it is.” She waves the tongs in her hand casually. “I want to make sure all kids get free lunch, some old white guy wants to ban abortion. Who gets listened to? Not the woman, that’s for sure.”

Alex nods his head, grabbing the pan to put the ribs on. 

“But at least you’re trying.” He says. 

“Yeah,” She sighs. “It’s hard not to get defeated at times. But someone has to fight for it.”

“That’s the spirit!” Alex bumps her shoulder. Ellen laughs, picking the ribs off the grill and placing them on the pan Alex is holding. 

He walks it over to the table and moves to grab a beer from the fridge when she clears her throat. 

“You know, your sister told me what happened this week.” She says, a hint of cautiousness in her voice. Alex groans, walking into the kitchen and grabbing his drink quickly, glaring at June as they make eye contact. She mouths  _ I’m sorry _ , Alex flips her off. 

“I do not want to get into it.” He says when he walks back out to the deck, taking a swig of his beer. He sighs and takes a seat, examining his legs in the sun (anything to not look at the look his mother has on her face.)

“Alright,” She says, taking off her apron and draping it over the deck and taking a seat next to him. “Then just listen.” Alex puts his forehead on the table. “I know everything hasn’t gone according to plan. But please remember it’s okay to screw up.” He lifts his head and raises an eyebrow. “It’s your reaction after the screw up that matters. So make nice with this boy or whoever it is you fought with.”

“But mom-” Alex starts.

“Nope.” She raises a hand. “I don’t care if he is Satan himself. Kill him with kindness. No matter how fake it might be.”

Alex rolls his eyes, sits up and unties his apron. Ellen pulls him into a side hug. 

“I love you,” She kisses his forehead. 

“Ew gross,” He brushes her off. She rolls her eyes at him, and he smiles. “I love you too.” 

She winks and gets up to get Leo from the front. Alex starts picking at the label on his beer. 

“Deep in thought?” Nora says, taking the seat his mother was at moments before. 

“I don’t want to do this,” Alex mutters. 

“Eat ribs? Well, fuck man I’ll take yours.” Nora says, looking at him like he is an idiot. 

“No. If you touch my ribs I’ll rip one of yours out.” Alex threatens, pointing a finger at her briefly before continuing. “I’m talking about trying to pretend Henry is anything but a jerk.”

“He isn’t a jerk though,” June says from behind him. Nora grimaces. “What? He isn’t.”

“Tell me about this perfect human that you seem to know then,” Alex says. 

“Well, he has a dog.” Nora starts. 

“Is that really the best you’ve got?” 

“He cares about his students.” June shrugs. 

“Listening to him talk is like spreading butter on toast,” Nora adds. 

“Listening to him talk makes me squirm.” Alex shivers. Henry’s voice prickles his skin, only making him want to punch him further. 

“Well, I guess we know you’re not into accents then.” June chuckles, moving to take a seat across from them. 

“He likes Star Wars,” Nora mentions. 

“Oh really? I assumed it’d be all BBC documentaries.” 

“Nope, he gets into pop culture just like the rest of us,” June says. 

“Ready for food?” Ellen says, walking up with Leo. He’s taking off his grass-stained shoes and walking into the kitchen, only emerging once he’s washed his hands and grabbed a drink. 

“Fuck yes,” Alex responds, reaching out for a rib. 

**____________**

Alex’s alarm goes off and he’s groaning immediately. It’s the following Saturday, and therefore the first of the many Saturdays he and Henry need to spend together. 

The funny part is, usually only one person has to do Saturday detention duty. There aren’t ever enough kids who have to serve for two people to stay. 

When Alex brought this up to Zahra though, she didn’t seem to care. 

“You’ll both be here. Rain or shine, regardless of whether there are even kids serving detentions.” She said before closing her office door, Alex standing bewildered on the other side. 

Maybe Nora was right, this  _ is _ detention for Alex. 

He and Henry hadn’t talked since the incident. Maybe this meant they could get through these Saturday detention duties without a scrape. Alex has a book and some papers to grade, so he has plenty to do. 

He can ignore Henry. It can’t be  _ that _ hard. 

When Alex arrives at school (7:59. He refused to show up any earlier on a fucking Saturday) he sees two cars in the parking lot. One is Henry’s, a small grey blue prius (of course), and the other is a red sedan with the paint chipped off. A kid steps out and Alex realizes it’s a senior. 

“Hey Mr. C-D.” He says, raising his hand. Alex looks over to Henry’s car and sees that it is empty. He must already be inside. 

“Hello,” Alex replies, walking towards the school. “What brings you to detention this week Sam?” 

“Missing work.” He shrugs. “Miss Cruszmark doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“Well if you did your work maybe she’d be more understanding,” Alex says, giving the student a side glance. Sam shrugs again, looking down at his feet and keeping pace as they walk into the building. 

Henry is in the lobby, a cup of coffee in one hand, an iPad in the other. He’s got on forest green jeans and a light blue henley shirt. Alex coughs to get his attention. 

“Oh, hello!” He says, shifting his iPad to under his arm and standing up to greet the two of them. “How are you both doing?” 

“I’ve been better,” Sam replies. 

Alex purses his lips and looks at Sam. He’s fairly new, but he doesn’t seem to fit the usual bill of kids who get detentions. Must have a  _ lot _ of missing work. 

“Did you bring your assignments to work on?” Alex asks. Sam nods in response, patting his bag. 

“Could we do this in the computer lab? I need to type up a paper.” 

“Of course,” Henry responds, walking down the hall. 

Alex looks down at his outfit, black joggers and a faded grey Georgetown t-shirt. It’s an off day, he didn’t plan to look nice, but of course Henry did. He’s insufferable, even his hair is perfectly done. It’s like Henry is here to star in a movie, not watch a kid serve detention. 

Sam sits down at a computer and begins typing. Henry takes a spare chair and moves it over to the table, opening back up his iPad. Alex looks around and sits on the other side of Sam, taking his grading out to work on. 

They sit in almost silence for two hours. There is the typing of the keyboard as Sam works, Alex’s pen scratching as he writes comments on papers, and the soft sound of Henry’s coffee cup when he places it back down on the table. 

It’s enough to make Alex go mad. 

“Is it okay if I go to the bathroom?” Sam asks. Alex nods and turns back to his paper. 

His skin starts to feel itchy when Sam leaves. He glances up at Henry, who is intently looking at his iPad, and he can’t control himself. Alex stands up and walks over to Henry. 

“Watching porn?”

“Pardon?” Henry asks, looking at Alex as if he is an idiot. 

“You’ve been very interested in your tablet,” He points down at Henry’s iPad. “Assumed it’s because it’s very  _ interesting. _ ” Alex raises both of his eyebrows suggestively. 

Henry coughs. 

“I’m actually looking for a gift.” He responds. “My brother is having a baby.”

“Well, congratulations uncle Henry.” Alex pats Henry on the shoulder. Henry tenses up noticeably. “What are you going to get?”

“I’m not sure,” Henry ponders. “What does one get for the son of a brother you despise?”

Alex snorts. 

“Is he more of a pompous ass than you are?”

Henry glares at him. 

“I’ll have you know I am a delight,” Henry says. “But yes. Phillip is most definitively a pompous arse.” 

“Must run in the family,” Alex mutters. 

“Do tell,” Henry puts the iPad down, folding his hands in his lap and squinting at Alex. “What about me makes me such a- how did you put it? Pompous arse?” 

“Like you don’t know.” 

“I actually do not,” Henry says, an innocent look taking over his face.

“When I first started-” Alex starts. At that moment Sam walks back in and goes to his computer. 

“Do you mind if I play music? I have headphones. I’m just dying in this silence.” Sam asks. 

“I don’t think you-” Henry starts, but Alex puts a hand up to stop him.

“Go ahead, it’s fine by me.” Alex smiles. Sam grins back, then digs his headphones out of his bag and plugs them into the computer. 

As soon as Alex hears the music (kids play it too loud. They’re going to go deaf.) he turns back on Henry. 

“When I first started,” Alex angrily whispers, not wanting Sam to hear. “I tried to introduce myself, but you decided to be ice. You acted like I was trash.”

“Surely I did not.” Henry looks confused. “I don’t even recall you coming to do so.”

“Ha,” Alex leans his head back, feigning laughter. “Of course not.” He sits on the table in front of Henry. “You were doing something under your desk, and you acted like I was scum.”

Henry ponders for a moment.

“Oh,” He says. 

“Yeah,  _ oh _ ,” Alex replies, standing up again. 

“Not that it excuses it,” Henry says, coughing softly. “It was a rough day.”

“I’m sure,” Alex moves to go back to his seat.

“No, really,” Henry says. “I was frustrated and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Alex nods his head, sitting down and pulling the cap off his blue pen. 

“I’m sorry,” Henry says. “It doesn’t excuse it, but I apologize.”

“Okay,” Alex responds. 

There is an awkward silence before they both go back to their work. It’s another thirty minutes before Alex cracks. 

“Diapers.” He says. 

“Er… what?” Henry says. 

“For your brother.” Alex sighs. “Diapers are practical and a good gift, but detached enough that you don’t have to put enough thought into it.”

“Oh,” Henry responds. “Thanks.” 

Alex nods and turns back to his grading. He only has a couple more left, he sighs in relief. 

“Are these kids shitty writers for you too?”

“The worst,” Henry says, smirking. Alex can’t help the smile growing on his face. 

“You would think by senior year they’d realize to capitalize the first letter in a sentence,” Alex says, writing a score on the top of another paper. 

“Or maybe indent the first line of a sentence of a paragraph.” 

Alex laughs, thankful the kid isn’t listening. 

“Times up boys,” Zahra says from the doorway.  _ When did she get here? _

Alex stands up and taps Sam on the shoulder. 

“You’re free kid,” He says, smiling. 

“Can I print this really quick? I just finished it.” Alex nods and Sam clicks a few buttons, signs out and goes to the printer to grab it. 

“Glad to see you’re both in one piece,” Zahra says, looking Henry and Alex over. 

“Of course,” Alex replies, putting an elbow on Henry’s shoulder. “We’re the best of buds.”

“Er,” Henry starts, staring at Alex. 

“Good, so that’ll make the rest of the semester easier for you two,” Zahra smirks. “Ready Sam?” She asks, looking past the two of them at Sam. 

“Yes, Mrs. Bankston.” He replies, gathering his things and following her out of the building. 

“Best mates now?” Henry says on their way out.

“Best  _ buds _ .” Alex corrects. “At least to Zahra and the rest of the world.” He turns to Henry. “Look, I’m not trying to mess with this school or my sister’s job. So if she wants us to be best friends, I’ll try anything. Or, fake anything, that is.”

“Ah,” Henry nods. 

“Give me your phone,” Alex says, holding his hand out. 

Henry hesitates, but hands his phone over. Alex creates a contact and puts his name and number in. 

“Since we are ‘buds’ now,” Alex says, passing the phone back. “I guess we should have each other’s numbers.”

“Should you give me your phone then?” Henry asks.

“Already texted myself using your phone, so I’ve got your number,” Alex replies. “Keep it professional though, I’m not looking to have a coworker with benefits.” He winks and starts walking backwards to his car. 

Henry must not feel comfortable with sexual jokes. His face has a red tinge to it and he coughs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	5. An Induction to Being a Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New teachers always get sick around their first month, students make stupid decisions, and Alex can't believe he has to pick up vomit.

The remainder of the weekend is calm, leaving Alex relaxed for a new week. He felt prepared for whatever challenges were going to come his way.

Until he wakes up Monday morning. 

“Hey Nora,” Alex says, walking into her room before school. “Do you have any Advil? My head is pounding.”

“Yeah,” She replies, opening up a drawer in her desk and searching for a bottle. 

Alex looks around her room. It’s simple and clean, exactly what he would expect from a math classroom. There are a few (student-made it seems) posters on her bulletin board with the phrase “is your calculator in degrees or radians?” drawn out. Alex shivers- he couldn’t teach math. 

“Here you go,” she holds the bottle out to him. 

“Thanks,” he pops a few in his mouth and uses his coffee to wash it down. 

“You alright?” Nora asks, walking up to him. “You look peckish.” She puts a hand on his head.

“Peckish?” Alex swats her hand away. “Since when did you become Henry?” She rolls her eyes. 

“You feel warm.” Nora crosses her arms. “I guess it makes sense. You’ve been here for a little over a month now.”

“You say that like I’m about to be inducted into a cult.” Alex sits down at a desk and puts his head on the cool wood, sighing in relief. 

Maybe Nora is right, he is running a bit warm. 

“I’m _saying_ you are new to teaching. It’s typical to get sick a lot more your first year, or when you change schools.” Alex turns his head to look at her, confusion written all over his face. “You’re not used to all the germs. Schools are filled with illnesses, you never know what someone is infected with.” 

“So, you’re saying this school is infecting me?”

“In more ways than one I’m sure.” She laughs, patting his shoulder. “You should probably go home.”

“We’ve got ten minutes until school starts, I think it’s too late Nora.” Alex sits up, taking his time before he stands up from the desk. 

His head spins. 

“Well then enjoy being a true teacher and powering through while still sick.” She moves back to her desk. “Let me know if I can get you any more medicine.”

“Thanks, Nora,” he replies. 

**____________**

After his third hour class, Alex has a study hall. He feels dead and is starting to praise all his teachers who ever had to work while sick. They’re heroes, truly. 

“How are you doing champ?” Nora says, sitting on his desk. A murmur of greetings from students comes as she walks by. 

“I think I’m dying,” Alex replies. “Will you tell June it’s her job to take care of our parents when they grow old? I’ll not be able to help her anymore.”

“Like you were ever going to.” Nora jokes. Alex glares. 

“You need to go home.” She whispers to him. 

“Can’t,” Alex replies. “I’ve got a project for my government class that needs to go out today.”

“Then at least consider taking a day tomorrow.” Nora sighs. “I’ll talk to June.”

“Don’t threaten me.”

She pats his shoulder and leaves. 

**____________**

Alex assumes he’ll get better if he just pushes through it. But he quickly realizes that the devil himself has inhabited his head. How does a person cure that? More Advil? An exorcism?

“Alex, it’s 3. It’s your plan time. Just go home.” A voice says from the doorway. He opens one eye. It’s June. 

“Traitor,” Alex mutters, thinking of Nora. 

“Nora doesn’t want you infecting the whole school. Now go home.” She moves out of the doorway, gesturing for him to leave. “And I don’t want you back tomorrow.”

“But-” He starts

“Submit sub plans. I’ve already put in for a sub for you.” She responds. 

“Funny how you think I can create sub plans at a time like this.”

“Show a fucking movie for all I care Alex. I am not dealing with you sitting here whining like a baby tomorrow because you’re feeling worse.”

Alex starts to grab his computer and books, glaring at her. 

“It happens to us all. Just go home and get better. If you send me your plans I’ll print them off.” She sighs. “We take care of each other here. We are a team and will make sure the day goes smoothly. You need to go home and take care of yourself.” 

June is right. Alex knows it.

“I’ll tell mom to make soup later if you want.” She says as he passes her out the door. 

He gives a slight smile in response and keeps walking. 

**____________**

It’s 8 pm, Alex is on the couch shivering, sitting with his computer in his lap, a thick comforter wrapped around him. 

His head is pounding, there are tissues next to him and he can’t keep his eyes focused on the screen. 

“How the fuck to teachers do this?” Alex whispers to himself. 

Sub plans are more than what June told him they’d be. They’re not just scribbled ‘to do’s’ on a scrap piece of paper. 

Alex has to include each class list, any accommodations needed, and if there are any allergies. 

He hasn’t even gotten to the _lesson_ part. 

“Knock knock!” He hears from outside his door. 

“No one’s here.” He says as loud as he can muster. 

He is trying to remember where the emergency procedure binder is in his room. Is it in the closet? His desk? _What if it isn’t even in the room?_

“Funny, I thought my brother lived in this apartment,” June says in response. “Guess I’ll eat this chicken noodle soup instead then.”

“Woah there,” Alex responds, placing his laptop next to him and walking to the door. “Don’t be hasty.”

He opens the door and lets June in, grabbing the container from her and walking to the kitchen for a spoon. 

“How is the planning?”

“I hate it. Why do I have to do this much work just so I can stay home?” He groans. 

“Welcome to teaching.” June grabs his laptop. “Want help?”

“Are you serious or are you fucking with me?” Alex says around a mouthful of soup. “Because that would be amazing.”

“I assumed you didn’t have a stash of plans, so I thought I’d come to assist.” She starts typing away. 

“A stash of plans?” He sits on the couch next to her, sipping the broth. 

“Yeah, so you have something to fall back on in case you get really sick.” She says, brows furrowing. “Don’t you remember us telling you to do that at the beginning of the year?”

“Honestly Bug, I’ve just been working on my actual plans. Emergency ones aren’t even on my radar at the moment.” 

“Fair,” She sighs. “But I hope after this you’ll make some.” 

Alex nods.

“Will do,” he leans his head on the couch, sitting facing her, his eyes starting to slip closed. 

He wakes up, the bowl of soup no longer in his hands, and a pillow under his head. 

_When did I fall asleep?_ He wonders. 

There is a sticky note on the table in front of him. _I’ve got your plans, feel better soon. Love, June._ Alex smiles and gets off the couch to move to his bed, crashing immediately after he gets comfortable. 

Alex is sick for the rest of the week. 

**____________**

It’s Saturday and Alex is getting out of bed, drinking coffee, and wishing there wasn’t Saturday morning detention duty. 

He _was_ sick all week, Alex could continue to fake it. But he needs to get to school and go through any notes left for him from the substitutes. Also it’d be good for him to get out, test the waters a bit. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**How are you feeling?**

Alex stares at his phone, completely confounded by the text message. Why would _Henry_ be checking in on him? 

Alex apparently takes too long to respond, as a bubble shows up, indicating Henry is typing. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**I know you’ve been**

**ill this week. If you**

**need a cover to stay**

**home today, I can do so.**

**no**

**i’m coming**

Alex could use this as an opportunity to have a free Saturday. Maybe grade and sleep the rest of the sickness off. 

But he doesn’t want Henry to feel like he owes him. If the insufferable ass is going to be there, Alex sure as fuck was going to be there as well. 

Which leads Alex to stand in the lobby, five minutes early, a cup of coffee in his hand, and his laptop in the other. Today they’ve got a few kids. Sam, the usual with missing work, then three sophomore boys who flooded the second-floor boy’s bathroom. 

“Hey there,” Alex hears behind him. 

It’s Henry, of course. He’s casual as can be, a pair of sunglasses resting on his head, a smile half hanging on his lips. 

Alex raises his hand, nearly spilling a bit of coffee, in a greeting. 

“Feeling any better?” Henry asks. Alex shrugs. 

“A man of many words.” Henry chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. 

Sam walks in first, a bright smile on his face. 

“You’re back!” He says enthusiastically when he approaches Alex. 

“Yes, I’ve returned.” Alex winks. Henry rolls his eyes. “Glad to see the school didn’t burn down without me.”

Three more boys walk in, all looking worse for wear. Particularly the last one who walks in, still wearing sunglasses. 

“Do you know which one that kid is?” Alex whispers to Henry, pointing at the boy in sunglasses. 

“William,” Henry whispers back. “Will, please remove those.” He says louder. William flinches. 

Alex wonders if… no. He can’t be. They’re sixteen. Alex didn’t drink when _he_ was sixteen. Certainly others wouldn’t. Maybe he just gets migraines. 

“Well, come on then.” Alex waves, walking the boys to the back. Sam sets up shop on a laptop, and the three sophomores (Will, Jude, and Parker) get started scrubbing the cafeteria walls. 

Alex takes a seat at a table next to Henry. If he was going to pretend they were friends he should sit near him. 

Henry pulls out some papers and a purple flair pen and starts to read the papers. Alex looks over at the boys, all groaning as they work. He sighs and pulls out the assignments his students worked on while he was home sick. 

After an hour, Alex can tell something very wrong is going on. 

“Hey, do you think they’re alright?” Alex whispers to Henry. 

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Henry frowns, looking over at the three boys. William has his head in his hands and hasn’t moved in ten minutes. Alex tells Henry this. 

“Fuck,” Henry whispers. “You don’t think they are-”

“That is exactly what I think they are,” Alex says, finishing Henry’s thought for him. 

They both snap to action. Alex walks over to Will, Henry goes to ask the other two what they know. 

“Hey, you good kid?” He asks softly, putting a hand on his knee. 

William looks up, and it happens so fast that Alex barely has the time to jump out of the way. Will throws up something red and watery. 

It doesn’t smell like normal vomit. _Fucking hell this kid is totally hungover_. 

“Fuck dude,” Alex swears. He quickly curses himself in his head for cussing in front of a student. 

But that kid totally just threw up on his shoes, so he doesn’t feel bad. 

“I’m sorry,” the kid chokes out. “I think I ate something bad.” Alex rolls his eyes. 

“Sure, and I’m vegetarian,” Alex says, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“No, sir, I promise I-” He heaves again and Alex pulls back. 

“Uh, Henry?” Alex calls desperately. 

Henry is with the other two boys, deep in conversation, but turns around when he hears Alex. His eyes open wide at the situation.

“Can I, maybe, get your help over here?” Henry nods and walks over, leaving the two boys to look between each other. 

“I hear you had quite a night Will,” He says, helping Alex pull him to his feet. “Let’s get to the toilet.” 

“The loo,” Alex jokes. Henry rolls his eyes. 

They walk to the bathroom. 

“I should call his mother,” Henry says. 

“I can if you’d rather,” Alex replies, but hopes Henry doesn’t let him. 

“No it’s fine, I’ve got a good relationship with her.” Alex raises both eyebrows. “Not like that you dolt.”

“Hey man, I-”

“I mean she will take it better coming from me.” He interrupts. “Can you keep track of Will?” Alex nods. 

He turns to the kid, currently sitting behind a closed stall door. Despite his better instincts, he takes a seat on the cold tile floor. 

“Hey, you alright?” He asks cautiously. 

He’s greeted with a groan. 

“Have you had any water?”

“No.” Will moans back. 

“I’ll get you some.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“You obviously aren’t, kid,” Alex says, standing up. 

“Please don’t tell my parents,” he whispers. 

At least he’s no longer pretending he isn’t hungover. 

“Too late man.” Alex walks out to get a glass. 

Henry is on the phone as Alex walks to the kitchen for a cup. They give each other a nod. 

“Hello, Mrs. Walker,” Henry is saying. “I wanted to talk to you about Will..” 

His voice trails off as Alex gets into the kitchen. 

“His mom is going to come and get him,” Henry says as Alex comes back by. He then looks over at the vomit. “We should probably clean that up.”

Alex sighs and nods. Then he thrusts the cup of water towards him. 

“I’ll do it. You handle the kid and the parent.” He rolls up his sleeves. 

“Are you certain?” Henry asks. 

“Yeah,” Alex replies. “You know them both better. You take care of that, and I’ll deal with the mess.” Then he looks over and sees Jude and Parker. “I’ll make tweedle dee and tweedle dumb help.” Henry laughs and walks to the bathroom. 

“Hey kids, let’s get a mop and clean up your friend’s mess.” They both grimace. “Unless you’d like us to call your parents about what you did last night?” He asks. 

They both suddenly have more energy and enthusiastically walk to the supply closet with Alex. 

“Do you need my help?” Sam asks from his table. 

“Nah Sam, you’re good.” Alex waves him off. 

For a kid constantly in detention, Sam is a good kid. 

**____________**

Alex is standing outside of the school, watching Henry talk to Will’s mother. He is completely grateful for not needing to have the conversation himself. Will has a somber look on his face, and Alex can practically see the steam coming from his mother’s ears. 

“My ride's here, can I go?” Sam says behind him. Alex nods and waves at who he assumes is Sam's mother before turning back to Henry. 

He does well, seemingly, with the confrontation. Henry is calm and cool, a look of concern on his face as he discusses everything with Will’s mother. 

When they separate Henry makes his way back to the building, visibly relaxing. 

“How bad?” Alex asks. 

“Not bad for me.” Henry sighs. “Will, however, will not be having a great rest of the month.”

Alex nods solemnly. He’d feel worse for the kid, but he can only care so much after cleaning up his vomit. 

“Well, I’ll see you Monday,” Henry says, grabbing his bag before heading to his car. 

“Wanna grab lunch?” Alex says, not realizing what he was doing. 

“Huh?” Henry asks, confused.

“You just dealt with a tough parent situation for me.” Alex shrugs. “Least I could do is buy you lunch.” 

“Er,” Henry starts, shifting his bag. “I’m supposed to have a virtual lunch with my sister.” 

“Oh,” Alex says. “Don’t worry about it.” He waves him off, grabbing his own bag and pulling out his keys. 

“Tomorrow?” Henry suggests. 

Alex has that weird tingly feeling pop up again. 

“Family dinner,” He replies. “Maybe next week after we suffer through detention again.”

Henry gives a soft smile, waving goodbye to him and walking to his car. 

Alex fumbles with his keys as he walks to his car, feeling a weird mix of disappointment and anxiousness. 

Maybe he is still sick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed :). 
> 
> Please check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	6. Hamilton High Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is a big deal at Hamilton, the teachers and students all dress up, and there's a stupid mixer in the gym with a bunch of sweaty teenagers.
> 
> Cue broody Alex at a teacher happy hour after school.

Alex doesn’t try to have lunch with Henry again. It was a fluke, of course. A moment of weakness in his sick and vomit-soaked shoe state. 

It’s a Friday now, and they’ll have another Saturday detention duty (though right now not even Sam is scheduled to be there tomorrow.) Alex has his fingers crossed for a free morning.

Because today is _Halloween_. 

“Nora, did you bring that eyeliner pencil?” Alex asks, walking into her classroom. 

“Yes Alexander,” She replies, tossing a black pencil towards him. 

“Great!” He walks to her cabinet, opens it up, and starts drawing a goatee on himself. Thank god Nora keeps a mirror in here. 

“Who are you supposed to be anyway?” She asks, sitting halfway on her desk. 

“Alexander Hamilton.” Alex looks at her like she’s insane. 

“Oh of course.” She replies, adjusting her witch's hat. “Why didn’t I guess that from the weird outfit and you overcompensating for your lack of facial hair.”

“Hey!” He says back. “At least I’m being creative,” he gestures to her outfit, “generic witch.”

“I’m the school’s bitch- I mean,” she smirks, “witch.” Alex chuckles, but goes back to his goatee, trying to mimic Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. 

“Do you know what June is dressing up as?” He asks. 

“I don’t think she is dressing like anything.” Nora shrugs. 

“What?” Alex tosses the pencil back at her, satisfied with his look. “But it’s Halloween.”

“I know,” she sighs. “But she seems to think it is inappropriate to dress up as an administrator.”

Alex huffs. 

“Are you going to the happy hour after school?” Nora asks. 

“Of course. I would love to see some of these teachers get drunk.” Alex replies. 

It’s tradition at Hamilton high. The teachers and students all dress up (there’s a competition.. Alex hopes to win) and afterward the teachers meet up at a bar down the road and get smashed. 

Teaching on Halloween is supposedly horrid, but Alex can’t imagine why. 

“Hello there Nora,” A smooth voice comes from the doorway. It’s British, but not the infuriating British voice of Henry. 

“Hey, Pezza!” She beams at him. 

Pez is dressed in a purple suit and white frills. _Prince_. 

“Nice outfit,” Alex compliments. It’s a pretty great costume. 

“Pez, can you help me with my-” a voice says behind him, stopping only when he sees Alex in the room. “Oh, hello Alex!” Henry tilts his head to the side. “Who are you?”

“I’m Hamilton!” How does no one realize this? 

“Ah, yes.” He says, looking Alex up and down. It makes Alex uncomfortable, so he shifts his weight to get rid of the feeling. “Pez can you help with this clip?” He turns around. “Something keeps scratching my back.”

It couldn’t be clearer what Henry is dressed as. _Prince fucking Charming_. Of course. He has the suit, gold belt and frilled shoulders, deep maroon pants. Where is his Cinderella?

“On that note, I’m gonna bounce.” Alex points to the doorway. “I’ll see you at the mixer later.”

“I’ll be the witch by the punch making sure none of these idiots try to sneak vodka in it.” She waves back at him. 

Alex can’t handle more drunk or hungover teenagers. 

**____________**

After four hours of teaching, Alex understands why all the teachers plan to get drunk after school. 

Not only are the kids absolutely _bonkers_ , but there is candy flying everywhere, and anything Alex tries to teach seems to go wrong. Why is anyone still bothering? 

The kids also don’t get Alex’s costume, so the effort he put in was a waste. 

“Don’t these kids know Hamilton?” Alex complains, standing next to June in the corner of the gym. 

Nora was right, June didn’t dress up. 

“Apparently not,” she replies, clearly only half-listening. 

“Not only is this fucking _school_ ” June hits his shoulder “named after him. But it’s also a hit musical.” He sighs. “I thought kids loved Hamilton?”

“They did about four years ago. Now it’s all about Heathers and Dear Evan Hansen.” 

“Fuck that,” Alex mutters. June hits him again. “Can you stop hitting me?” He rubs his shoulder. “It really hurts.”

“Stop cussing in school and it won’t be a problem.” 

Alex rolls his eyes and walks away, finding himself right next to Henry. _Of course_.

“How’s it hanging, Prince Charming?” He asks, keeping an eye on two students who are getting too close to the gym’s basketball buzzer. 

“How’s it what?” Henry responds.

“How are you _doing_?” Alex emphasizes. 

“Fine.” He nods. “Yourself?”

“Peachy.” 

“Did you see Mason’s costume?” Henry asks. 

“Was he the one dressed like Pennywise?”

“No, that was Diego. Mason came as a drag queen.” 

“Please tell me it wasn’t in poor taste.” Alex couldn’t handle if a kid was trying to be _that_ person. 

“Oh no,” Henry responds. “It was definitely serious. He’s in my first hour and was telling me all about it. He used Bianca Del Rio as an inspiration.”

“Wait..” Alex turns to Henry. “From Ru Paul’s Drag Race?”

“Yes.”

“You watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race?”

“Yes..” Henry says hesitantly. “Is that a problem?”

“No- I just,” Alex pauses. “I didn’t see that coming.” 

“Ah well, I guess I am full of surprises.” Henry raises an eyebrow, almost waiting for Alex to challenge him. 

Alex stares for a moment, adjusting his view of Henry. Every time they talk, Alex seems to learn more about him. 

“Wait,” he shakes his head, “where is he?”

“Got sent home.” Henry rolls his eyes. 

“What?” Alex says, a little too loudly. “Zahra would never-”

“She wasn’t the one who made the call.” Henry sighs. “Zahra fought like hell though.”

“Who decided he was going home then?”

“Some parents complained to the superintendent. From there it was out of our hands.” He shrugs. 

“Fuck man.” Alex lets out a deep sigh. “Poor kid.”

Alex knows this is Texas, a very red state. But Austin is supposed to be _different_. These problems shouldn’t be happening here. Austin, Texas should be _weird_. What bullshit parent is complaining about this shit?

“I’m going to talk to June.” He moves, Henry grabs his arm. 

“Alex, don’t you think she _knows_?” 

“Then why isn’t she more upset?” Alex half shouts. A few kids turn his way, confused and intrigued. He gives them a smile and tries to calm down. 

Now isn’t the time for another scandalous fight with Henry. 

“Henry, we have to do something,” Alex whispers. Henry’s hand is still wrapped around his arm. 

“Alex, I want to, of course. But we _can’t_.”

“Like fuck we can’t.” Alex moves his arm away from Henry. 

“Alex,” Zahra says. “I’m taking care of it. Calm down.”

“When did you show up?” Alex looks around. How the fuck did she know?

“It’s hard to not hear you. Even with all the teenage hormones and drama floating around us.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m going to do something about this. I need you, however, to calm the _fuck_ down and make sure these kids don’t do something idiotic.” She points to a particular pair trying to sneak under the bleachers. 

“Claire and Jason step away from the bleachers!” She shouts, walking over to them. They immediately bluster something about her dropping something, but it’s obviously a lie. 

Alex huffs. 

“Leave it,” Henry repeats, walking away. 

Why can’t people understand that Alex can’t just _leave_ anything alone? Not when it’s an injustice. Not when it’s a _kid_. 

**____________**

“Can you cheer up for like, five seconds,” Nora says, sitting next to him at the bar. 

Alex has been in a poor mood since he found out about Mason. The school he loves, the people he works with, works _for,_ failed him. How could he possibly celebrate when kids are getting sent home for expressing themselves. 

Alex takes a swig of his beer. 

“June,” Nora shouts. “Come get your brother to get the fuck out of his head.” She walks off, June taking her place. 

“How do you do it?” He asks quietly. 

“Do what?” She says, picking up a glass of wine from the bartender. 

“Deal with the stupidity of parents and the system.” 

“It’s called high-functioning alcoholism.” She replies, taking a swig of her drink.

“Seriously, June.” 

“Fine,” she turns to face him, hands folding on her lap. “It’s not easy. Sometimes the system makes piss poor calls. Parents are the fucking _worst_ sometimes. They attack kids for stupid things like dying their hair or dating someone of the same sex.” 

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Alex waits for her to continue, hoping there is something positive at the end of this. 

“But,” she says finally. “We have to stay. Because _we care_. We care Alex. Despite parents who try to squash who these kids are. They need people who are going to support them.” 

“It’s more than just discrimination.” She sighs. “It’s hard to watch kids who have horrible home lives. Or have to work to provide for their families at sixteen years old.” She takes a drink. Alex watches her, taking in every word. “These kids need people who are going to support them and be there for them. Like Sam. He needs you there, every Saturday.” 

Alex lets out a dry huff. 

“Yeah, I’m sure he does.” He lets his eyes drop from hers and back to his beer. The label is already half peeled off. 

“I’m being serious Alex.” She reaches for his hand to keep him from destroying the label further. “I’ve heard the way he talks about you. He really looks up to you. You make a difference. He _needs_ those Saturdays to complete his work.”

Alex frowns. 

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why does he need those Saturdays? He said that Cruzsmark makes him stay because of missing work. Why doesn’t he get it done?”

“Do you really not know?” She asks. 

“No?” Alex replies, confused. 

“I think she lets him use her as a cover story. So people don't suspect anything.” June sighs. “He can’t get much work done at home, so we set up a system to help him out. His family allows it, I think mainly because they don't know the full story, and he uses Darla Cruzsmark as an excuse to stay. We’ve always got teachers there for detention duties, and he gets some quiet time to get his work done.” She shrugs. “It could be a lot worse for him Alex. I’m glad we got something set up before things got bad.”

Alex nods, processing her words. 

That’s probably why Sam never seemed like the type to need detention. He wasn’t actually _in_ detention. He was there to work, to get help. 

“I had no clue,” he says quietly. 

“There is a lot we don’t know about many of these kids little bro.” 

He shrugs. 

“As I said, all we can do is support and try our best.” She adds. 

“We should fight.” He says, perking up. “Maybe we could talk mom into-”

“I’ve talked to her,” June interrupts. “It’s not necessarily a law. It’s more of a mindset by the people at the head.” 

“So we need a new superintendent?” Alex asks. 

“New parents, more accepting world,” June sighs, “we need a lot for this to change Alex.” 

Alex starts to bite his lip. 

“Look,” She takes a step off the stool, “I know it’s not easy for you to let things go. Especially this. But we are working on it. Things will improve. Please don’t let it eat you alive. Just enjoy being with your coworkers. Make some _friends_.” She pats his shoulder and walks off, leaving Alex to brood over his beer again. 

“Wait,” he says. June pauses. “Did you know Henry watches Ru Paul’s Drag Race?”

She rolls her eyes before turning around to walk back to Nora. 

He sighs and turns in his chair to face the room. Nearly the whole staff is present, halfway wearing their costumes. Nora has given up witch’s hat in favor of a fez from another teacher, Pez has taken her witch’s hat, and even Henry has removed some of his garb. 

Somehow he only looks more infuriating. The weird shoulder frilled suit jacket is resting on the chair next to him, leaving him in a white button-up and his maroon pants. 

Alex takes another drink from his beer and places the bottle on the table, grabbing his things to leave. 

It’s been a long day. 

“Leaving so soon Alexander?” 

Alex closes his eyes and sighs. It’s Henry, of course, with his fucking accent and Prince Charming outfit. Even without the stupid jacket, he fits the role. 

“It’s been a long day.” He turns around and faces Henry. 

Henry has a goofy smile and a slight pink tinge on his cheeks. Is Henry Fox tipsy?

“You’ve got that right.” He replies. 

There’s an awkward pause for a moment as Alex waits for Henry to push the conversation forward. 

“Well-” Alex starts. 

“I hope you have a good night,” Henry says at the same time. Alex stops again, waiting. “Get some rest. No detention for us in the morning.” Henry winks and pats Alex on the shoulder before turning to leave. 

Fucking weird. 

**____________**

Alex wakes up in the morning, feeling exhausted. He checks his phone and realizes it’s 6:31 in the morning. 

“What the fuck?” He groans to himself. 

He rolls back over to try to go back to sleep. 

It doesn’t work. 

Alex rolls over and grabs his phone again, shooting off a text. _Why is teaching ruining my ability to sleep in on Saturdays?_

Reluctantly Alex gets up and makes a pot of coffee, reserving himself to a morning of grading and chores. 

As he is making scrambled eggs he hears his phone go off. _Henry_. 

_Why the fuck is Henry texting?_

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Welcome to education.**

_Huh?_ Alex has no clue why Henry texted him this. 

Then, he looks up at the message he last sent. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**why is teaching ruining my**

**ability to sleep in on**

**saturdays?**

**Welcome to education.**

That message was supposed to be for June. 

Now what does he do?

Does Alex admit he messaged the wrong person? That feels fake. 

It’s true in this scenario, but it never seems to be true in other situations. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**how is prince charming**

**this morning?**

**He is thankful for Saturday**

**morning detention duty is**

**canceled.**

**Alexander Hamilton**

**feels the same way.**

Alex cringes. What the fuck is he doing? 

Luckily Henry doesn’t seem to know either, as Alex doesn’t get a response. 

He sits down with his breakfast and a second cup of coffee, looking at the assignments he has to grade. 

It’s hard for him to get started. He’s still thinking of everything that happened with Mason. The implications of it all. How these kids really _aren’t_ getting what they need. Students get sent home for behavior problems, which Alex can accept. If you punch someone, yeah you’ll get a consequence. 

But for dressing a certain way? For expressing oneself in a safe and appropriate way? Getting kicked out simply for _being_? It seems ridiculous. He can’t let it go. 

_How can one teacher fix the entire education system?_


	7. Hyperfixations and Prompted Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex can't help but be focused on the problems with the school system.  
> That is, until Zahra throws his brain through a loop, giving him a decision that he isn't sure he is ready to make.

After a week, Alex should have let the whole situation with Mason and the school system go. 

But he can’t. How could he?

“We get it, Alex,” June says over family dinner. “You’re a triple fire sign.” 

June is always citing astrology at Alex. He doesn’t enjoy being analyzed by the planets and stars. 

“This isn’t about the stars, June!” 

“I didn’t say it was _about_ the stars,” she explains, fork in her hand as she waves it in the air. “The stars just _explain_ you.” 

Alex rolls his eyes and takes a bite of a meatball. 

“Alex, it’s something to work on, but can we _please_ talk about something different?” Ellen begs. 

“But-”

“It’s important I know.” She sighs. “But I want to hear more about my children’s lives.” 

Alex glares, returning to his spaghetti. 

“How are things going with that other teacher?” She asks. “What’s his name?” 

Alex chokes. 

“It’s Henry,” June replies, smirking at Alex. 

“I thought you didn’t want me to complain anymore.” Alex states after taking a drink of water. 

“That means things are bad,” Nora replies for him. 

“How about we talk about June?” Alex suggests. 

“No, I think talking about your rivalry with Henry is a perfect idea,” Nora says. 

Alex puts his head on the table in defeat. Why is family dinner always like this?

“Just tell me you haven’t gotten in any more fights,” Ellen says. 

“No, mom I haven’t.” Alex sighs. 

“Good,” she replies, reaching for a piece of garlic bread. 

True to her word, she doesn’t continue the discussion. Alex is grateful. He already has to deal with Henry at school and on Saturdays, he doesn’t want to spend his Sundays discussing him as well. 

It’s like Henry is everywhere, and Alex feels suffocated. If it’s not Saturday detention, it’s hearing his accent down the hall while Alex is teaching. Alex can’t escape the world that is Henry Fox. 

It’s absolutely infuriating. 

**____________**

“Okay kid,” Luna says in between bites of a taco. “You’ve gotta calm down.”

They’re at Luna’s house, trying to knock out more of their teacher mentor program (and failing.) Alex, of course, can’t help but get on a tirade about the educational system. 

“Just tell me how to fix it,” Alex groans. 

“There isn’t going to be a quick fix.” He sighs, putting his taco back on his plate. “It takes societal change. That takes time.”

“What can we do now?”

“Support the kids. Give them platforms to grow and feel safe in. Help raise people who are more accepting, loving, and compassionate.” He reaches for his beer. “That’s how we can make a difference.”

“There has to be more,” Alex mutters. 

“If anyone is gonna change the system, it’ll be you.” Luna smiles and takes a drink. “Now, let’s talk about finals.”

“Do we have to?” 

“Yes, unfortunately.”

Alex groans and takes several large gulps of his beer before looking at the stupid packet given to them by the district. 

____________

The week before Thanksgiving Zahra pulls Alex into her office. 

He, of course, assumes he is in trouble (why? Who knows.)

“You needed to meet with me?” He asks, walking in. 

He’s known Zahra for years (she’s close with his mom), but being called to the principal's office still feels weird. 

“Yes,” She moves a few papers to the side. “I wanted to discuss next year with you.”

“Oh,” Alex says, trying to remain calm. 

Next year isn’t something on his mind right now. He’s trying to survive this year. 

“What about it?” He asks. 

“Well, this year you’re confined to the elective history classes offered to students by their previous teacher. I wanted to give you the opportunity to change what you could teach next year.”

“Oh,” Alex repeats. 

He enjoys teaching civil rights history. Next semester he has a class over ancient Mesopotamia. There are nine students signed up to take it, and Alex isn’t passionate about teaching it. Not that ancient history isn’t cool, but he feels more comfortable in his government and civil rights courses. 

Alex hadn’t really debated changing the courses up. 

“I’m not saying you have to decide now,” she says, “but we try to get schedules figured out by March so we can go ahead and get kids thinking about the following year.”

“Okay,” Alex nods. 

He’s usually much more talkative than this. 

“You can keep them the same if you’d like. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to capitalize on your strengths.” 

“Does… does this mean I’m coming back next year?” Alex asks cautiously. 

Does _he_ even want to come back next year?

“You’re a pain in my ass, but you’re a good teacher,” Zahra replies. “You’re good for the kids and they’ve been learning a lot in your class.”

“Is that a yes?”

“As long as you don’t have another screaming match with Fox, you’re welcome to come back.” 

Alex isn’t sure how to respond. 

“Well,” she continues, “I’ve got another meeting.” She stands up and grabs her planner and a pen. It takes a minute of Alex staring at her before he realizes she wants him to leave. 

“Oh, yeah, okay.” He scrambles out of the chair. “Thanks, I’ll-” he clears his throat “I’ll think about it.”

She gives a quick nod and follows him out of her office. 

Alex’s head is buzzing. So he goes to Nora’s room. 

“Uh, Nora?” He says, quietly entering her room and closing the door. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” She’s still shuffling papers, only half listening. 

“Zahra thinks I’m coming back next year.”

“Well, are you?” She stops and sits down, looking up at him finally. 

“I don’t fucking know Nora.” Alex sits across from her. “This wasn’t the plan.”

“I’m not sure if anyone’s life goes according to plan.”

“Yeah, but mine is going far off the rail,” he waves his hands. “This job was only supposed to be something I do for a year, and then I’ll return to law school and kick ass.”

“You can do that.” She says, a ‘but’ clearly hanging on her lip. 

Alex looks up at her, an eyebrow raised in question.

“But-” She finally lets out, Alex laughs. 

“But!” She says louder. “No one said you have to.” 

“I say I have to.” He mutters, dropping his head down, picking at a piece of tape on the desk. 

Nora swats his hand away. 

“You put too much pressure on yourself.”

“How else am I supposed to get to where I need to be?” Alex asks, the questions getting too _real_ to be had during a Friday plan period. 

“You’ll get to where you need to be, regardless of where you go to school or what job you have.” She sighs. “I’m going to say one more thing, but then we will end this conversation because I fear I’m sounding too much like June.”

Alex snorts. She’s right, this kind of ‘the pieces will fall where they must’ speech has June Claremont-Diaz written all over it. 

“Maybe,” she continues, “just maybe, this _is_ where you should be.”

Alex wrinkles his nose.

“I’m just saying.” She holds her hands up in defense. “You never know. Now let’s drop this before I start talking about fate or something.”

Alex laughs and lets the conversation drop. 

It won’t hurt to think about a class he _would_ teach if he stayed. 

**____________**

Another Saturday, and another detention duty. Alex is grateful there will be no early Saturday wake-up call next week. _Thanksgiving break_. Maybe being a teacher isn’t so bad. He does, at least, get holidays off. 

“Hey Mr. C-D!” Sam says, walking in. He’s the only one there this morning. 

Given what Alex learned about Sam, the detentions have gotten less rigid. They play music, Alex and Henry work, Alex even brought breakfast for everyone one week. 

Not that he _enjoys_ Saturday morning detentions. They’re just… not as bad as he thought they’d be. 

“Hey Sam,” Alex gives a high-five. “We are going to go to Mr. Fox’s classroom today. He needs to work on something, and I’ve only got grading to do anyway.”

“Oh cool,” Sam smiles. 

“Are you ready for Thanksgiving?” Alex asks as they walk down the hall. 

“Oh yeah, I love all the food. I’m especially excited about pumpkin pie.”

“You’re making me hungry,” Alex chuckles. 

“Sorry,” Sam replies, laughing back. 

They walk into Henry’s room to see him standing on a desk, moving a ceiling tile. 

“You good there, Fox?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow. 

He should go stand by the desk, maybe spot Henry. But Alex would be lying if he didn’t think it’d be hilarious if Henry completely biffed it. 

“Peachy,” Henry replies, groaning a bit as he stretches up. “Trying to get this bloody thing down.” He mutters. 

“Need help?” Alex puts his coffee down. Sam gets situated at a desktop at the back of the room. 

“I don’t think you could.” Henry shifts the tile and brings it down from the ceiling, hopping off the desk onto a nearby chair. He’s a touch too graceful about the movement. 

“Besides, I’ve got it.” He smiles and places the tile down on a desk. 

“Why are you pulling it down anyway?” Alex sits down at a table and pulls out his laptop. “Are you crawling into the ceiling?”

“I’m having the sophomores decide and paint what book they’re putting on the ceiling.”

“Huh?”

“I’m having the-”

“No, I got that.” Alex interrupts. “But why?”

“It’s tradition,” Henry shrugs. “I began it my first year here.”

“Why?” Alex looks up at the ceiling again. There are a few tiles decorated already; _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone_ , _Othello_ , and _The Book Thief_. 

“Well,” Henry sits down across from Alex and places his hands on the table. “I had this student, Will’s older sister in fact, who was really struggling. No matter what I did she wasn’t interested in my class. I noticed that she was always drawing in my class, so I thought I’d capitalize on it.” He looks up at the Harry Potter tile. “She created that as part of a project with me and therefore became more engaged in class. It was a small gesture, and a cool project for her, and the relationship we formed helped her become more invested.” 

“That’s actually pretty cool,” Alex responds, looking up at the tile. It’s signed, _April Walker_. “I’m guessing that’s why you have a good relationship with Will’s mom?”

“Correct.” He nods. “She was thrilled to see her daughter invested in school again. April had a hard year prior to having me, so she was defeated.”

Alex puts his head in his hand, soaking in the story. Henry really does seem like a great teacher. Caring, kind, empathetic. He understands there is more to a student than what he sees in his class. 

It’s heartwarming, really. 

“It’s tradition now,” Henry continues. “There’s almost always one kid who desperately wants to do it.”

“Do you know what book you’ll do this year?” Alex asks.

“We are voting this week. The ballot has some interesting choices.” He chuckles. 

“Please tell me someone suggested 50 Shades of Grey.”

Henry chokes on his laughter. 

“Dear Lord no.” Henry’s face goes red. “Could you imagine?”

Alex snorts thinking about it. Sam gives them both a weird look, hearing their laughter over his music. Alex waves him off and pulls out work to do. 

Their laughter dissolves, both starting to work on their respective classes, but the smile on Alex’s face never quite leaves. 

Even when they’re leaving the building, Sam getting in his car, Alex feels lighter than he has in a while. 

“I’m fucking _starving_ ,” Alex says, his stomach growling.

“Lunch?” Henry asks. 

“Yeah, I should eat some,” Alex responds. He has leftover pizza at home, but it doesn’t sound appealing. 

“No, I meant-” Henry starts, looking at Alex confused. Alex’s phone goes off in his pocket. 

“Shit, hold that thought,” Alex says, holding a finger up. “June?”

“Hey, do you want to get barbecue? I’m craving it.” She asks. 

“Fuck _yes_.” Alex looks at Henry and smiles, giving him a thumbs up. 

“Great, meet me at your apartment?” 

“Perfect, I’ll be there soon,” Alex says, hanging up the phone and turning to Henry. “June saved the day. I did _not_ want to cook, or eat leftovers.”

Henry nods, a weird look on his face. 

“Sorry, you were saying something,” Alex says. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Henry replies, a small smile on his face. “I am glad you’ll get some food in your system.” He pulls his keys from his pocket. “I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah!” Alex says enthusiastically. “I’ll see you Monday.”

Alex walks to his car, feeling like he’s missed something. 

When he gets in he sees a text. 

**Boss, Pompous Ass 💩**

**Boss**

**Since you do not have**

**Saturday duty next weekend,**

**I’m having the both of you cover**

**lunch duty this week.**

**First block.**

  
Alex groans. _Of course_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	8. Blind Dates and Giving Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora sets Alex up on a blind date, and Alex is relieved to have Thanksgiving break.

Alex is standing in the hall, discussing Thanksgiving with June, when he remembers Zahra’s text. 

“Oh shit, I’ve gotta go,” he tells June. “Just tell me what you pick up at the store tonight and I’ll grab anything left tomorrow.”

She gives him a wave as he walks down the hall and into the chaos of the cafeteria. 

Lunch duty is the worst duty to have. Teachers typically rotate through, but Zahra is making Henry and Alex do it today as part of their ‘punishment’. 

Students are shouting, some scarfing down food, others quickly working on assignments they didn’t complete the night before, and then at the edge of the room is Henry. He’s got a red lunch box in front of him, a book Alex can’t quite make out in his hands, and his blue water bottle. 

Alex grabs a cup and fills it with water before walking over to join Henry at their table. 

“Ready for a break, Fox?” He asks, sitting next to him and surveying the cafeteria. 

“Most definitely,” he replies after swallowing a bite. He puts down his book and Alex realizes it’s a heavily marked-up version of Wuthering Heights. 

“Preparing for class?”

“Yes. I try to reread before I have the class read it, however, it seems I am a bit behind. We started this book last week.” Henry sighs. “I’m only three chapters ahead of them at the moment.”

“Maybe you’ll finish over the break.”

“I hope.” 

Alex opens up his box and takes a bite of his sandwich. 

He was lazy this morning, so peanut butter and jelly was where he ended up. 

“Will you do anything for the holiday?” Henry asks.

“Yeah,” Alex says, swallowing down the bite. “My dad is coming to town, and we always have a big dinner.”

“Very nice.” He nods. 

“What about yourself?” Alex asks. “Or does that feel sacrilegious against your country?”

Henry rolls his eyes and pulls out a bag of grapes before responding. 

“Pez and I will do something, but no. No big Thanksgiving dinner for this Brit.” 

Alex nods. 

Is this the part where he should invite Henry over to his house? In the spirit of the holidays or whatever. 

It feels awkward, so Alex regrettably opens his mouth, but is saved by a text. 

When he sees who it is from, however, he groans. 

“What’s wrong?” Henry asks. 

“It’s Nora,” he shoots a text in reply and puts it in his back pocket. “She’s having me go on a date with a friend of hers.”

“Oh,” Henry replies, picking grapes off the stem. 

“Yeah,” Alex sighs. “I really don’t want to.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that awful.” Henry shrugs. 

“You wanna go on it for me?”

“Oh, most certainly not,” Henry replies, eyes wide. 

“What? I hear she is really cute.” Alex laughs. “Are cute girls not your type?”

“Well, actually-” Henry starts. 

“Mr. Claremont-Diaz!” A student shouts, interrupting Henry and Alex’s conversation. “We’re having a problem over here!”

“Oh shit,” Alex says, seeing a kid with bloody tissues covering his nose. “Do you want to go get the nurse?”

“Yes,” he replies, getting up and to action. 

It turns out to just be a bloody nose, but the amount of blood was concerning. 

**____________**

Nora was right, the girl (Andrea) is really cute. Not only that, but she is genuinely funny and smart. 

They do typical first date activities, coffee, talking, awkwardly walking through stores, whatever to take the mind off the fact they don’t really know each other yet. 

But then Alex sees something and pulls his phone out. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to take a picture and send a joke to a friend.” He laughs, taking a picture of a cover of  _ Fifty Shades of Grey _ .

“I can only imagine,” she gives him a side glance, taking a sip from her tea. 

“I swear,” he slips his phone back into his pocket. “It’s this guy I work with. It’ll be funny I promise.”

They walk back out, and Alex feels a buzz in his pocket. He can’t help but smile, thinking of how ridiculous Henry’s response must be. 

He schools his features, however, as Andrea and he get ice cream. 

“So, have you been teaching long?” She asks. 

“No, just for a few months.” He replies. “What about you? How long have you…” Alex trails off, forgetting what she does. 

“I’ve been in pharmacy for almost a year,” she replies, answering his implied question. 

“Do you like it?” He asks, walking down the road with her.

“Yeah, actually I do.” She smiles. “Do you like to teach?”

“Uh,” Alex starts. Probably shouldn’t tell someone on the first date he is still desperately trying to figure his life out. “Yeah, it’s cool.” He says instead. 

“I would be exhausted working with kids.” Andrea laughs. 

“It definitely is,” he smiles, thinking of his students. “But really it’s a lot of fun.” 

“Takes a specific type of person to do it.”

“Yeah,” Alex responds, nodding softly. “It definitely does.” 

**____________**

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Why are you sending**

**me this?**

**reference for your**

**ceiling**

**thought you may**

**need it**

**Definitely not.**

Alex laughs, sitting in his car after his date, thinking of how Henry’s face is probably going red. 

**____________**

Alex wakes up Thanksgiving morning to a pounding on his door. He checks the time (8:25) and begrudgingly gets up. 

He shouldn’t have had to get up for another hour. Alex is in charge of the potatoes, so he doesn’t have to spend too much time cooking. 

The pounding stops when he gets to the door, and when he opens it no one is outside. 

“What the,” he sticks his head out, and when he turns to his right he jumps so hard he hits his head on the door. 

“What the FUCK?” He shouts, rubbing his head and walking away. 

His sister is in the hall, dressed as a turkey. 

“I wanted to sit next to your bed, but you took the spare key you gave me.” She’s laughing hard as she walks into his apartment, taking the beak off her face. 

“Why?” He asks. “Why this?”

“I know how much you love turkeys.” She smiles. “Thought you’d love it on turkey day.”

“Definitely not.” He sits as far from her as he can. 

Alex  _ hates _ turkeys. They are absolutely evil, and he relishes the opportunity to eat them on Thanksgiving. 

“You’d think by 25 you’d have let it go, Alex,” she’s still laughing at her own prank. “You were  _ five _ when it happened."

“It was traumatic, June!”

“Oh whatever, it was a petting zoo and a turkey ran after you.” She sits up, wiping tears from her eyes. “If you had stopped it wouldn’t have done so.”

“That turkey was out for blood and we both know it.” He points a finger in her face and gets up to make coffee. 

“Oh yes, please make me a cup too.” She says, getting comfortable on the couch. 

“Mean sisters don’t get coffee.” He replies. 

“Oh come on, I didn’t  _ really _ scare you.” She says. He glares at her. “Oh come off it, you’re fine. I’m just having fun.”

He rolls his eyes and moves to the kitchen, grabbing a muffin. 

“Do I need to give you a hug?”

“Do. Not.” He replies. She gets up anyway and chases Alex around the house. 

“It’s the petting zoo all over again!” He shouts, slamming the door in her face. 

She’s laughing, and he is out of breath. 

“If you’d stop I wouldn’t be running after you!” She says from the other side of the door. “Just like that damned turkey!”

“I’ll see you at mom’s June!” He shouts back, throwing himself on his bed. 

Maybe if he tries hard enough he will sleep for another hour. 

**____________**

When he gets to his mother’s house, Alex is hit with the smell of turkey in the oven. He takes a deep breath and walks to the kitchen with his pan of mashed potatoes. 

“Hello Alex,” Ellen says absentmindedly, her and Leo moving around the kitchen, almost like a rehearsed dance. 

“Hi mom,” he replies, going to the fridge for a drink. “Where is dad?” 

“He’s helping your sister set the table.” She points to the dining room. 

“Perfect, thanks.” 

He walks to the dining room to find the dining table set up, and Oscar and June seated and talking. 

“Hey June,” Alex says, voice monotone. She blows him a kiss. 

“Hey there,” Oscar says, getting up and giving him a hug. “How are you doing?”

“Hey dad,” he replies, leaning into the hug. It’s always nice when Oscar is around. “I’m alright. Ready to tear apart this food. How are you?”

“I’m alright.” He lets go and motions for Alex to sit next to him. “Nice to be back in Texas.” 

“How’s California?” June asks. 

“It’s good. Different, but good.” Oscar then turns to Alex. “I hear your sister scared you this morning. I thought you had grown past the fear of turkeys?”

Alex glares at June. 

“I’m not afraid of turkeys.” He says through gritted teeth. “But if I were, it would be completely valid, considering.”

Oscar laughs. 

“Anyway, how is teaching?” He asks Alex. 

“It’s alright.” Alex shrugs. 

He doesn’t really want to get into it. Anytime someone asks him about teaching he feels queasy. It reminds him he isn’t where he thought he’d be. 

Alex takes a drink. 

Oscar nods softly, obviously seeing through Alex’s facade. 

“Hey, I’ve got something to show you,” Oscar says, standing up. “Will you come to the car with me?”

Alex nods and follows him out to the driveway. 

“So I’ve been having trouble with my engine,” he opens the car door and pops the hood. “I wanted a second opinion.”

“Dad, I know a lot about many different things. But cars aren’t one of them.”

“Shush. You’ve still got a pair of working eyes.” He says, lifting and propping the hood up. 

“Now, when I get over 60 on the highway there has been a rattling sound. I can’t quite figure it out,” Oscar sighs. “But I think there might be something loose.”

“You should probably go to a mechanic.”

“Can you just stop being an ass and come help me look.”

Alex rolls his eyes and walks over to look at the engine. He isn’t going to find anything, Alex doesn’t know anything about mechanics. 

If Oscar had given him a warning he could have maybe done some research. But he is woefully unprepared for this. 

“I don’t see anything.” He says, leaning up to look at his father. 

“Huh,” Oscar scratches his chin. “Can you check under the car? Maybe it fell out.”

“Dad-” Alex says, exasperation clear in his voice. 

“Please, Alex.” Oscar interrupts. 

Alex gets on his knees and when he gets under he sees something. 

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Alex says, reaching for it, realizing his dad is playing with him. “You hid a bag of Skittles under your car?”

“There’s a bag of skittles under my car?” Oscar replies, acting surprised by Alex’s discovery. “Well, I guess we have no choice but to split them.”

Alex opens the bag and leans against the car. Oscar makes him move briefly so he can close the hood, and they both stand next to each other. Alex sighs and looks up at the stars. 

“Zahra thinks I’m coming back to Hamilton next year.” Alex states. 

“Do you think you will?” Oscar asks, reaching a hand out for Alex to pour skittles into. 

“This was only supposed to be a year,” Alex mutters. “I was just supposed to do this for a year, and then go back and finish law school.” 

Oscar purses his lips and nods. 

“Then do that.”

“But-” Alex starts, then stops. He shifts his weight, trying to stop the weird crawling feeling on his skin. He needs to move, do something. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t need to.” 

“I definitely do.”

“Not always,” Oscar replies. “Part of being an adult is accepting that you don’t know sometimes. But you can learn, and grow.”

Alex huffs. Oscar bumps his shoulder. 

“You have time,” Oscar tells him. “It’s okay to not know yet. It’s only November.”

“I need to contact school soon if I plan to finish.”

“Well you’re not going to tonight, so may as well stop carrying that weight on your shoulders.”

“I guess,” Alex shrugs again, passing the bag of skittles to Oscar. 

Ellen sticks her head out the door and waves them in. 

“Zahra asked me what elective course I’d want to teach next year,” Alex says as they walk in. 

“If you are,” Oscar corrects. 

“Yes, if.” Alex agrees. “But, if I do I was thinking it’d be cool to do an LGBT history course.”

Oscar smiles enthusiastically at Alex. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” 

“You do?” Alex smiles back. 

“Yeah, if the school will allow it I think it’d be a great idea.” 

Alex nods and feels his spirits lift as they return to the table. 

**____________**

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**i’m thinking of starting**

**a LGBT course next**

**year for my elective**

**what do you think?**

**I think that’s brilliant!**

**If the school will approve,**

**of course.**

**do you think they won’t?**

**I tried to start a UNITY**

**club last year.**

**Didn’t go well.**

**oh**

**Yeah, oh.**

**maybe we can get**

**both started for next**

**year.**

**That would be great,**

**Alex.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	9. Unanswered Texts and the Principal's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Alex start planning to get their class and club started at Hamilton High

**Andrea**

**hey, are you free friday**

“Your friend won’t respond,” Alex tells Nora, frowning at his phone. 

“Well, how long has it been since you texted her?” She asks, showing him no sympathy. 

“Like a week,” he puts the phone in his pocket. 

“Are you really into her?” Nora steps around her desk with her bag, ready to leave. 

“I mean,” Alex shrugs, “I guess. She was nice, cute, and all.” 

“So that’s a no.”

“Well, I mean. It was only a first date, Nora. It’s not like some insane attraction or love at first sight was going to happen.”

“Alex,” she sighs. “I don’t want to get between friends, but from what I hear you were kind of distracted.”

“Distracted?” 

“She mentioned something about texting a friend a picture of a book,” Nora says, leading Alex out of her room. 

Alex frowns, pausing in the hallway as she locks her door. 

“Among other things.” Nora continues. “It’s not like you were rude or anything, I just don’t think she felt a spark or whatever.” 

“Ah,” Alex says, nodding. 

He didn’t think he was distracted, and the picture was only a quick shot. It was just to harass Henry. 

“Look it’s not a big deal, don’t let it deter you from going on other dates.” Nora continues. “I just want you to get out there and make some friends.”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“I have friends Nora.”

She gives him a look, and he knows she doesn’t agree. However, he gets distracted when he sees Henry still in his classroom. 

“What is he still doing here?” Alex asks.

“How the hell would I know?” Nora responds. 

“I’m going to go check,” Alex says, already walking down to his room. 

Nora scoffs behind him, but Alex ignores it as he approaches Henry’s door. Henry is focused on something sitting on the desk in front of him. It’s got him clearly frazzled, as his hair looks a little less perfect than normal, his sleeves are rolled to his elbows, and the way he is staring at the paper makes Alex worry it’ll catch fire. 

Alex knocks on the door frame. 

“How’s it hanging?” Alex asks. 

It seems to jolt Henry out of whatever was going on in his head. He moves and relaxes his face, a small smile forming. 

“Oh, hello Alex.” He replies. “I’m just working on a seating chart for my fifth period.”

“Yikes,” Alex says, stepping into the room. “A seating chart?”

“These freshmen are trouble.” Henry looks back down at his layout on graph paper. There are parts almost scratched through from excessive erasing. 

Alex looks at his chart, but can’t provide any tips without knowing the students. Then he sees the ceiling tile at the front of the room, a sketch drawn out. 

“Oh hey, did your class choose the book?” He asks, walking towards it. 

“Yes,” Henry says absentmindedly. “They chose Pride and Prejudice.”

Alex can’t help but laugh. 

“Should we put it under my desk?” He jokes. 

“Hah,” Henry laughs dryly. “We shouldn’t rehash old arguments.” 

Alex laughs as he continues to examine what has been done so far. Whoever is working on it is doing a great job. The lettering and details are great. Even without coloring, it looks impressive. 

“Who is the one doing the outline?”

“Ermanno,” Henry replies, scratching out another name on his page. 

“Are you disappointed they didn’t choose Fifty Shades?” Alex asks, moving back to where Henry is standing. 

“You must know I’m not,” Henry says, looking up at Alex finally, moving to match his posture. His arms are crossed and he’s leaning against a desk, side by side with Alex. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Alex replies. “I’m always ready for a fight.”

“We won’t need to fight Zahra, it’s the-”

“Parents, yes. I know.” Alex shrugs. “Either way I’m ready to go down.” 

Henry lets out a puff of air, laughing softly. 

“What?” Alex asks, frows burrowed. 

“I’m just astonished we are on the same side.” Henry states.

“Oh,” Alex looks down at his feet. “Well, it’s an important issue.” He purses his lips, thinking for a second. “I can insult you if you’d like? Give you some sense of normalcy?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you to have something off the top of your head.” Henry moves around, grabbing the seating chart and putting it in his bag. “But I’d much rather us not insult each other.”

“I could start a  _ row _ ,” Alex says in his best fake British accent, smirking up at Henry.

That earns him an eye roll, which only makes him smile. 

“Let’s go home,” Henry says, moving to the door and flipping the switch. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

Alex takes one last look at the ceiling tile at the front of the room, then follows Henry out of the building. 

**____________**

It’s after school and Alex and Henry are sitting in the chairs outside Zahra’s office. Alex’s leg is shaking, the nervous energy building. 

“I feel like I’m in high school again,” Alex says. 

“Get in trouble often?” Henry replies, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him. 

“Definitely not, but the idea of coming to the principal’s office will always make me anxious.” Alex smooths out the fabric on his thighs, trying to calm down. 

Henry puts a hand on his leg, making Alex stop fidgeting. Alex looks up at him, brows furrowed and a question almost spilling from his lips. 

“Deep breath, we called this meeting,” Henry says. Alex looks into his blue eyes and nods his head once before turning back to Zahra’s office door. 

Henry pats his thigh once and moves his hand back to his lap. Alex takes a deep breath, calming down. 

Then her door opens, and Zahra comes out. Alex’s heart rate spikes again. He looks at Henry, who gives him a small smile and a nod to push forward. 

“Ready, gentlemen?” Zahra asks. 

“Always,” Alex replies, walking forward and into her office. Henry lets out a small laugh behind him, but Alex ignores it. 

They walk in and take a seat on the other side of Zahra’s desk. Alex’s nervous energy has gone, replaced with the passion to get his way. 

Alex was on the debate team for a reason. He was going to become a politician for the same reasons. 

Alex was always great at arguing. 

“So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” Zahra asks, pulling out a notepad and a pen to take notes. 

“It’s in part about the class I want to offer next year,” Alex replies. “And also something Henry has wanted to offer in the past. We want to find a way for all of us to be happy and for the kids to have opportunities they haven’t before.” 

Alex pauses and looks to Henry before continuing. 

“I want to replace my Ancient Mesopotamia course with one on LGBT history. I want to give students the opportunities to learn about what the community is like, has done, and continues to fight for. I also believe it is important to help these students learn more about LGBT people who have had an effect on us all but have been washed out of our history books because of their identity.” 

“Students today  _ need _ a course like this. Society is becoming increasingly diverse, and we need to create a generation of people who are accepting of each other and, of course, themselves. If you give students a safe space to explore what different terms mean, you can give them a method of learning about themselves and accepting that it is  _ okay _ . Great even.”

Zahra is nodding, not writing anything down. She’s clearly listening and allowing Alex to say everything he needs to. 

As Alex talks he gets increasingly more passionate. 

“We thought maybe we could introduce both this class and a UNITY club, as Henry has wanted in the past.” Alex finishes, waiting for someone else to speak. 

“I believe this school would do well with a UNITY club,” Henry adds. “It would make students feel safer and more accepted.”

Zahra puts her pen down. 

“I must say, I’m relieved.” She laughs. Alex and Henry look confused. “I was worried this was going to be some argument between the two of you.” 

Henry lets out a small chuckle, Alex huffs. 

“It’s refreshing to see you both on the same side,” She continues. “And I completely agree with both of you. Henry, you know this as well.” Henry nods. “But we continue to be stopped by the school board.”

“Fuck the school board,” Alex mutters. Henry gives him wide eyes, but Zahra nods.

“Yes, fuck the school board.” 

Henry shakes his head and smiles. 

“Do either of you have an idea of how to get them to agree?” She asks expectantly. 

“I mean, it’s a public school. Shouldn’t students be allowed to have this kind of organization?” Alex asks. 

“It’s not prohibited by the state of Texas to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity or expression,” Henry replies. Alex groans. 

“This is so stupid. Why isn’t it a law yet?” Alex asks. No one responds, because he already knows. 

The politicians in power wouldn’t go for it. The conservatives make sure of it, but damn does he want that changed. 

“Well, your mother can work on changing the law,” Zahra says. “But we can think of how to change our school for now.” She sighs. “So spend some time and think about it, because I’m willing to help you both fight for it.” 

Alex and Henry leave, and Alex feels somehow more energized now than when he entered the room. 

“Okay, so we need to meet and have discussions about what we are going to do to get these people on our side,” Alex says as they walk down the hallway. “When should we meet? Tonight?”

“I cannot tonight, but we can discuss it tomorrow morning at detention duty,” Henry replies, and Alex can tell there is sincere regret in his face. 

“That works. Do we have anyone other than Sam?”

“A few senior girls who were caught smoking on the field during class.” 

Alex grimaces. 

“I thought this generation was supposed to finally be the ones who stopped smoking.”

“They should have, but then companies made it bubble gum flavored and put it in a cool looking pen.”

Alex groans. 

“Jesus Christ, help us all.” He stops outside his classroom. “See you tomorrow, Fox.” He salutes. 

“Goodbye Alex,” Henry says as he begins to walk down to his own classroom. 

____________

Alex, carrying a box of donuts, walks into the building brimming with ideas to share with Henry. 

They can do this. Alex can charm the pants off anyone, fight anything, and he knows the law. He can do this, and Henry will be the calm well-liked presence next to him. 

“Hey there,” Alex says when he sees Henry. “Ready for some plotting?”

“I am, but it seems there may be other plans,” Henry says, turning to the group. 

There’s more than just the three girls and Sam today. It seems a few more boys joined. 

“We’ve got a group today.” 

“Yes, indeed we do,” Henry replies. “We may not be able to work on what we thought we were going to.” 

Alex huffs.

“Library?” He asks, hoping it’s big enough. 

Henry nods, and they let the pack of kids follow them. 

The two of them have been doing this for a semester now, so it would make sense that they’d know what to do by now. 

However, when the majority of their detentions have been with a student who doesn’t  _ actually _ have detention, they’re never sure what to do. 

“I can take a group to clean lockers?” Alex suggests. Service to the school is always a safe bet. 

“Okay, I can keep the other part here, and then halfway through we can switch?”

Alex nods and takes a mixture of the group in front of them. The remaining students stay and work on homework. 

It wasn’t how Alex had thought they’d spend Saturday detention. He and Henry were supposed to be discussing their plans. How they were going to fight against the system and create support systems and learning opportunities for their students. 

It was supposed to be great. 

Instead, Alex is standing in the hall as a bunch of teenagers clean lockers. 

And when he  _ does _ get to see Henry, it’s only in passing as they switch shifts. 

It’s annoying Alex to no end. 

“Are you alright, Mr. C-D?” Sam asks from beside Alex. 

“Huh?” He looks over at the student. Sam has his earphones off and a math book in front of him. “Oh,” his brain catches up. “Yes. I’m alright. Are you okay? If you’ve got a problem with math I can call Ms. Holleran.”  _ It still feels weird calling her that _ .

“Oh, no I’m fine,” Sam replies. “You just seemed off.”

“Off?”

Sam shrugs.

“I don’t know. Just off. Didn’t know if something happened.”

“Ah,” Alex sighs. Is something off about him? He’s frustrated about Henry not being able to help him with this fucking club, but otherwise he is fine. Right? “I’m alright. Just thinking about finals coming up.”

“Teachers stress about finals too?” Sam asks, looking at Alex like he just told him the moon is purple. 

“Yes,” Alex laughs. “Teachers stress about a lot of things Sam. Now get back to your work before I tell your math teacher you’re trying to blow off her class.”

Sam smiles and puts his headphones back over his ears. 

Alex chews on his nails. 

____________

By the end of detention, Alex realizes his box of donuts is still sitting on the table. 

Henry is already grabbing his things up, but Alex thrusts the box into his hand regardless. 

“Please, take one,” Alex says. 

“Oh,” Henry says, pulling his bag over his shoulder, “thank you.” He opens the lid and grabs a powdered donut, immediately taking a bite. 

“Good choice,” Alex says, pulling out a chocolate devil’s food and closing the lid. 

They walk outside by side until they have to split up for their cars. 

“Monday?” Alex says. It comes out like a question, almost as if he isn’t expecting Henry to be there. 

Has Alex gotten to the point where he looks forward to Henry’s presence? He’s a decent guy, funny, kind, but it seems weird to think that they’re pleasant. 

Did Zahra’s punishment work on them?

“Monday,” Henry replies, giving a smile and a nod before walking to his car. 

Alex gets into his car, smiles, and takes a deep breath. Then he pulls his phone out. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**don’t think you’re free**

**from helping me with**

**this class and club**

Alex clicks his seatbelt on and hears a ping of his phone. 

**Wouldn’t dream of it,**

**Alex.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	10. Develop Me Professionally, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a teacher professional development day!  
> They're the worst. Alex panics about the realities of teaching in today's political climate.  
> He and Henry get a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussions of active shooter drills. If you want to skip that part feel free to. I'll put a summary at the end.  
> The heavy bits of it are after the firs '____________' and end when the next '_____________' comes up.

Teaching has been full of surprises for Alex. The most annoying one, however, is professional development. 

Not that Alex didn’t love to learn things. It’s great and he soaks knowledge up. However, it seems that’s not  _ exactly _ what professional development is. Professional development seems to be days filled with meetings, listening to ramblings from people who could have presented for 5 minutes instead of 45, and filling out weird paperwork. 

Not to mention the fact half of them aren’t  _ actually  _ marked on the calendar. Just when Alex thought they’d all have a day off school they'd rip the carpet out from under him and say “Sike.”

The kids get the day off- _ lucky bastards _ . 

Even half days- the kids go home at noon and the teachers stay for meetings. Sometimes it’ll be the day of before you realize there is professional development. It feels like a rumble of panic beneath the school when that happens. 

_ Do we actually get a half day? Or do we have meetings? _

_ Someone should really ask about it. _

_ No, I’m not going to ask- I don’t want to give them ideas! _

So alas, here Alex is at eight in the morning for a day of who knows what. The only benefit to this is that sometimes the PTA provides breakfast. 

Today especially seems good. There is fruit and some weird casseroles (there are always casseroles of sorts) and potatoes. 

Alex is staring at a stack of bagels, deciding between a blueberry or an everything bagel, when he realizes someone is trying to get his attention. 

“Mr. Claremont-Diaz?” He hears beside him. 

“Oh, sorry,” he replies, moving slightly. He’s been staring at the bagels for too long now, so who knows how long she’s been standing there waiting for him to move. 

He grabs a sesame bagel. 

“No no, you’re okay.” She laughs, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. “I’m Leisl’s mom.” 

Alex takes a moment. 

“Oh!” He says, putting down his plate and holding a hand out to shake. “Your daughter is in my government class”

“Yes,” she smiles, shaking his hand. “She really enjoys you as a teacher, and I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Great! I mean, she’s a great student, so it’s been fairly easy to have her in class.” Alex chuckles, going to grab his plate again. 

The parent is still watching him as he moves.  _ What else does she want? _

“Well, I’m Carmen.” She smiles even brighter. Her teeth are almost  _ too _ white. “If there is ever anything I can do for you just let me know.” She touches his arm and then walks off. 

Alex frowns down at his arm.  _ That was weird _ . 

“I see you’ve met Mrs. Womack,” Nora says as Alex goes to grab a fork. 

“Yeah, a little odd.” 

“Don’t look, but she’s still watching you.”

Alex tries hard not to turn his head, but he looks out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough, she is standing at the other end with another parent and watching him move to a seat. 

“Did I do something?” He whispers to Nora. 

“Oh my god, Alex you’re fucking clueless.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

He feels a smack against the back of his head.

“What the-” another hit before he finishes his sentence. 

“Stop cussing at school,” June says, moving to sit next to him. 

Alex rubs his head.

“That actually hurt, June.”

“Good, you deserved it.” 

Alex glares at her but turns back to Nora. 

“What do you mean, I’m an idiot?” He asks her. 

“I mean, you wouldn’t be able to see flirting if it smacked you across the face.” 

“Flirting?” Alex says a little too loudly. 

“Oh, Alex doesn’t recognize someone trying to hit on him?” June asks. “Sounds about right.”

Alex puts down his fork. 

“Why are you two saying this so casually?”

“I thought you knew.” Nora shrugs. “Sorry, bud.”

“June, Bug, really. I’m not  _ completely _ clueless. What about that time-”

“One name. Amber Cox.” She says, pointing a spoon at him. 

“Amber Cox?” Alex frowns. “The girl from my study group?”

“Yes, dear god Alex. She wanted you to bone her  _ so bad _ it was painful to watch.”

“She did not-”

“No, she definitely did.” Nora interrupts. “She told me. Several times.”

Alex stares down at his bagel.  _ He can tell when people flirt with him _ . 

“I-” he starts. 

“Nope, I’m hearing no argument. This meeting is about to start anyway. Just get a clue and realize when people flirt with you.” 

Alex sighs, resigning himself against continuing the argument. He doesn’t agree with them, not by a long shot. 

**____________**

The morning goes by in a haze of coffee and presentations. The district wants them to fill out paperwork on different benchmark tests, so half of it is spent in Alex’s room. Nora joins him and they play inappropriate music and stay off task half the time. 

It all works out though. 

They just have an hour meeting on safety drills in the afternoon, and then Alex is free to start his weekend. 

He’s sitting by himself in the back of Henry’s room. It’s the largest so that’s why they’re meeting in it. 

Staring at the ceiling Alex notices the completed ceiling tile. It looks good, suits the rest of them. 

Alex wonders what Henry will do when he runs out of ceiling space until he realizes a cop walked in. 

He looks around him, but no one is close enough to ask. Nora is at the front with June, Luna is off to the side of the room on his phone, and even Henry isn’t nearby. He’s at his desk sitting comfortably in his chair. 

“Okay everyone, so I know this talk is never pleasant, but in today’s political climate, it’s important for us to be prepared for it. Officer Garrett is here to answer any questions, or give advice as well.” Zahra says at the front. It’s the kindest Alex has ever seen her be. 

_ What the fuck are they talking about? _

“Now, we haven’t practiced it yet, but we need to discuss updated policies with lockdown drills, and what to do in case of an active shooter.” She continues. 

Alex’s eyes glaze over as he continues to listen to what she has to say. Why had he never considered this part of the job? Alex  _ knows _ about this part of America. Guns are rampant, and shootings at schools are too common. He hadn’t even thought about how  _ he _ needed to prepare in case one happened here. 

Zahra continues discussing what teachers should do, what different announcements mean, and to remind teachers to check their emergency binders and bags in the classroom to make sure everything they need is there. 

The cop takes over after Zahra talks, and Alex is staring at a spot on his desk. Officer Garrett discusses different strategies teachers can use to protect students. He uses statistics, and overall keeps his feelings out of the conversation as he speaks. 

Alex, however, can’t help but think about how this all feels. 

These kids are so young, he couldn’t imagine watching any of his students go through this, let alone  _ dying _ because of it. 

Alex knew this was all real. It has broken his heart and has pushed him to fight for certain political policies, but now it feels even more real. He has  _ actual _ students. Alex can put names to these kids, stories, personalities. 

These kids can’t go through this. 

The cop continues going through different recommendations. Alex hears something about giving the kids heavy books to throw in case the person gets in the classroom. 

Selfishly, Alex can’t help but think about the position he is in at a school. It makes him feel worse, thinking this way, but he can’t help it. Alex himself is young. He’s only twenty-five years old. But, if a shooter came into the building, he’s expected to stand between whoever it is and his students.

Not that he wouldn’t. But, fuck, who knew he’d be signing up to  _ die _ when he accepted a teaching position. 

It was never supposed to  _ be _ like that. 

It’s just supposed to be a one-year thing where he gets to be the cool history teacher and discuss civil rights and fight for an LGBT course and club and then goes on his merry way. 

His contract says nothing about dying. There is no paperwork teachers sign, recognizing the risk of teaching and if it costs them their life then it’s not the government's fault.

_They knew the risk, they should have chosen differently if they wanted to be safe,_ the government would say. 

Alex hears a chair pull up, but he can’t be bothered to look over. There’s a scratch on the desk he’s sitting at, and he’s inspecting it as if it may give him all the answers. 

Teachers shouldn’t have to think about this. Death shouldn’t be a possible job risk. Not as a teacher. 

There are occupations where you know the risk. 

The biggest risk with teaching should just be getting cussed at by a parent or student. 

It shouldn’t be fear of what a student brought in their backpack that week. 

It shouldn’t be wondering when your school might be next. 

“Alex,” he hears a soft voice beside him. A hand touches his shoulder. “Do you want to go get a drink?”

He nods slightly and walks out. It’s Henry leading him down the hall. 

They stop at the drinking fountain, but Alex isn’t actually thirsty. He just felt like he was suffocating. 

He  _ is _ suffocating. 

“It’s a lot,” Henry says, leaning against the wall. “Especially the first time.”

Alex looks down at his feet. He clears his throat before speaking.

“How do you sit through it every year?”

“I leave to get a drink half the time,” Henry replies. “Which is not good, but it’s intense to think about.” 

Alex nods. 

“Why did you come to America?” Alex asks, looking up at Henry. “You wouldn’t have this problem if you had stayed in England.” 

Henry lets out a small huff and gives a small smile. 

“Now that is a loaded question.”

“Well, the longer you speak, the more of this meeting we miss.” Alex sits down on the cold tile floor, back leaning against the wall. 

Henry sighs and slides down the wall to sit next to him. 

“Let’s just say, America helped me get away from some situations at home.” 

Alex frowns and looks at Henry. 

His features are still calm and kind. Henry is always soft edges and lovely smiles, unlike Alex who is rough lines and passionate arguments. 

Even at this moment, when the conversation is tipping towards too deep for the two of them, topic getting a little too close to painful, Henry remains kind and soft. 

Alex can’t describe why, but it calms him. Right now, with Henry, he finds himself closing his eyes, leaning his head against the cold grey wall behind him, taking deep breaths. 

“That’s painfully vague.” He replies. Henry laughs. 

“Well, I think the details will come another day.” 

Alex groans. 

“You are killing me, you know?” 

Henry laughs again. It makes Alex smile. It’s a sense of normalcy in his sense of panic about his situation. Like despite everything  _ bad _ there is still good. Even if it’s in Henry. 

“Why don’t we get a drink?” Henry asks. 

“I thought that’s what we were doing?” Alex replies, pointing at the water fountain next to them. 

“I meant a proper drink,” Henry says. 

“Are you asking me to get a  _ pint _ with you, Henry Fox?” Alex looks at him and gives a little smirk. 

Henry rolls his eyes and Alex can’t help but smile.  _ Bingo _ , he thinks. 

“Here I thought we were having a nice moment. Apparently I was incorrect.” Henry stands up and flattens out the front of his pants. “I guess I’ll just head home.” 

“Hey now, don’t just offer a drink and take it back,” Alex says, standing up as well. 

People are filing out of Henry’s classroom, the meeting’s ending. Alex sighs as he watches Nora and June turn the corner and head the other way from them. 

“Meet in 20? The usual happy hour spot?” Henry says, pulling Alex from his thoughts. 

Alex nods and walks to his room to grab his things. 

**____________**

Henry and Alex take their seats at a table towards the corner of the bar. They both have a beer in their hands, and Alex is already picking at the label on his. 

“The educational system in America is fucking bullshit.” Alex states. 

Henry nods. 

“Indeed.” 

“Come on,” Alex leans forward. “Give me some passion Fox.”

“I just agreed with you- what seems to be the problem?”

“Yes, but why aren’t you angry about it? Get mad, punch something, yell, or whatever else you Brits do. Isn’t it a thing to, like, headbutt people?”

“Not all of us have anger problems, Alex.” He takes a swig of his drink and leans against the wall next to him. “Besides, you are yelling enough for both of us.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if someone yelled with me.”

“I have yelled. I’ve argued and fought, and I’ve found my voice here. This isn’t my first year of teaching, Alex. I’ve had these same moments as you.”

Alex purses his lips before leaning back again and taking a drink.

“Apparently Leisl’s mom has the hots for me.” 

Henry rolls his eyes. 

“She tends to be a flirt, yes.” 

“Did she hit on you when you had her daughter?” 

“She… tried. Yes.” Henry replies. 

“Not into it?”

“A parent?” Henry looks at him like he’s an idiot. “No, I’m fine thank you. I’d prefer to not have that awkward experience.” 

Alex shrugs. 

“Christ, are you-” Henry starts.

“Jesus, No.” Alex interrupts. “But hey, love is love. If I fell for a parent I guess that’s what would happen.” 

Henry frowns. 

“Should we discuss how we’re going to get our class and club approved?” Alex moves on, not wanting to linger on relationships any further. 

“Do you ever take a moment to relax?” Henry asks in response. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you bounce from one issue to the next as if your life depends on it. Maybe take a moment and breathe. We will solve the issues, of course, but jumping from one to the next can’t be good for your sanity.”

Alex frowns now. How can he relax when there’s so much going on? How could  _ anyone _ just relax when the world is the way it is?

“I’m not saying ignore issues. However, we are having a drink, trying to get away from the thoughts of America and guns. Maybe it’s best to focus on a lighter topic.” 

Alex sighs. 

“What do you suggest then, Fox.” 

“I don’t know. Tell me about college, or a story with June.” Henry shrugs. “What about that girl you went on a date with? How’s she doing?”

“Oh, she stopped replying to me.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah. She said I was distracted.” Alex continues. “She didn’t like it when I sent you that picture of Fifty Shades during our date.” 

Henry chokes on his drink.

“You did that while on a  _ date _ ?” Henry asks. 

“Well, yeah. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I thought it was funny.” 

Henry is laughing, and Alex can’t figure out why. 

“What?” Alex asks. 

“You’re thick, Alex,” Henry says, taking another drink. 

Alex rolls his eyes. He’s tired of people telling him he is dumb today. Alex is plenty smart. 

But he can’t help but laugh when Henry continues to do the same. 

It’s contagious. 

**____________**

When they finally leave the bar it’s getting dark and Alex feels stuffed with nachos and wings. 

Despite the amount of food in his stomach, he still feels lighter than he did when he left school. 

When he gets home he feels a buzz in his pocket. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Relax this weekend.**

**Don’t fret over what**

**you can’t change**

**immediately.**

Alex snorts and puts his phone on his charger and moves to the couch. 

Maybe a weekend catching up on TV won’t be too awful for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> A summary if you wanted to skip that part.  
> Alex panics because the idea of a school shooter coming feels too real, and he can't imagine his students going through it. Henry comforts him in the hall. Henry alludes to leaving England because of family issues, but is painfully vague about it. Then they decide to get drinks. 
> 
> Also, my friends had no idea how to pronounce "Leisl" so if you're in the same boat it's pronounced "lee-sul". 
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)  
> I'd love to hear from y'all! Talk to me about this fic, or RWRB (or carry on too) in general :). I enjoy the chats!


	11. We're Having a Christmas Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Alex's last detention (at least the last one given as punishment from Zahra) and the staff Christmas party :).   
> Cue alcohol, confessions, and emotions no one wants to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is a bit of a beefy one (like 1,000 words more than normal) hope that's alright!

Alex walks into the school building for the last Saturday morning detention of the semester. It’s only him, Henry, and Sam. 

It feels right, in a way, that it’s only the three of them. 

“Morning,” he says to Henry. Alex can’t help the smile on his face. 

“Wow, we are cheery for it being so early on a Saturday morning,” Henry replies, walking down the hall with Sam trailing behind them. 

They’re spending it in Henry’s room again. 

“Well, you know what today is, right?” Alex asks. 

“It’s Saturday, Alex.” 

“But it’s the  _ last  _ Saturday, Henry,” Alex replies excitedly. “Can you imagine? We won’t have to get up at the crack of dawn every Saturday to oversee detention. We can sleep late, go out on Fridays, maybe have brunch?”

Henry frowns. 

“Yes, alright.” He says. “Unless you’re suggesting brunch together,” Henry adds, smirking over at Alex as they enter his room. 

“I don’t know if you could handle the way I brunch, Fox.” Alex winks. 

Sam takes up station in a bean bag chair at the back of the room, pulling out a school-issued laptop. 

“Well Sam, enjoy studying for finals, my man,” Alex says. Sam laughs and puts on his headphones. 

“Ah, love the socialness of all teens.” Alex sighs, sitting down at a table and pulling out his own laptop.

“Do you have much to work on?” Henry asks. 

“Not really. I’ve caught up on grading. It’ll just be waiting for finals to happen so I can grade those.” Alex shrugs. “What about yourself?”

“I’ve got essays out my arse it seems.” Henry sighs. 

“Ah, the life of an English teacher.”

“Indeed.” Henry nods. 

“Do you want help?” Alex offers. “I can’t promise I’ll catch everything you could, but it might make it go faster.”

“No no, it’s fine. I can handle it. I do enjoy reading what they write and giving feedback. It’s just a lot towards the end of every semester and quarter since that’s when big assignments are all due.”

Alex nods. Getting all of his assignments graded took a lot out of him. Alex spent several sleepless nights grading projects and papers, living only off caffeine and granola bars. He was desperate to hand it all back to students quickly. 

June caught him sinking too deep and forced him to have proper food and sleep. 

Alex hated the look on her face when she came into his apartment. She looked worried, as he had missed family dinner. But she also looked angry and disappointed. 

“Alex,” she said, barging into his apartment. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Nothing.” He argued back. Alex just needed to get it all done. 

She turned around and walked up to him, looking into his eyes. 

“Fuck,” she had whispered. “You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” 

“Doing what?” He responded.

“Alex, you can’t keep pushing off sleep and food. It’s why you came back here in the first place.” Her eyes were soft and her voice was thick with concern. 

Alex shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the memory. 

He’s alright now. He finished his grading, got his final exams turned in to be printed, and was good to go. 

June and Nora have been coming to his place more regularly now. 

Leo even brought him some soup, and Oscar has been calling him more frequently.

It seems his whole family  _ talks _ about him. And word travels fast in the Claremont-Diaz clan. 

“I brought something for us,” Henry says, making Alex look up from picking at his fingers. 

“You did?” 

“Yes, I got some of those donuts you always bring.” Henry points to the box on his desk. “I’ll let Sam know.” 

Alex walks to his desk as Henry goes to Sam and waves a hand in front of his face to get his attention. 

When he opens the box he sees his favorite, chocolate devil’s food. 

“Did I choose correctly?” Henry asks from behind him. 

“Definitely,” Alex says, smiling and taking too big of a bite. 

Henry smiles back and reaches around for a strawberry cake donut and for his coffee. 

“Well, good then.” He says, and Henry walks back to the table to continue grading. 

Alex wonders if he might actually miss these Saturday detentions after all. 

____________

Finals are over, and Alex’s first semester of teaching at Hamilton High has come to a close. 

This means:

  1. He needs to start thinking about what life _after_ this year of teaching is going to look like. 
  2. He finally gets two weeks away from that school. 
  3. There is going to be a raging staff party at the nearby bar. (Well, raging being a loose term here. How intense of partiers could teachers be?)



Alex hops into Nora’s car with June and they head over. 

“I can’t believe how much teachers drink,” he states as they pull into the parking lot. 

“Really? After one semester of having this job you still don’t know why?” Nora responds. 

“Just enjoy it, okay?” June chimes in. “There are usually a couple of rounds bought for us, so that’s a perk.” 

“God bless the PTA,” Nora shouts, unbuckling her seatbelt. 

“In this instance, yes. Bless them.” June responds. 

“Hey, I’ll bless anyone that buys me a drink,” Alex adds, stepping out of the car. 

A few teachers are already there. Alex, Nora, and June all are showing up late (it’s Nora’s fault. No matter how much she tries to blame Alex.) 

The sun has set already. It gets dark so early in the winter, it makes it seem like it’s already 9 when really it’s only 6 pm. 

“Hello you three,” someone greets as they come in. Alex thinks it’s a parent, but he doesn’t know everyone yet. “First round is on us, after that you’re on your own.” She winks. “Thanks for all you’ve done this semester!” She adds after they smile and walk to the bar. 

Alex orders a beer, June gets a margarita, and Nora gets a vodka cranberry. 

“Basic bitch,” Alex says. 

“Hey man, I’ll take that title any day.” She winks. “At least I’m not drinking piss water.” She points to his beer. 

“Hey now it’s-“ Alex starts to defend. 

“Hey there,” Pez interrupts, putting an arm around Nora and smiling at June and Alex. “How is everything? Everyone in one piece? Alex, did you survive your first semester of teaching high school?”

Alex pokes his own arm, pretending to check if he's still here. 

“I seem to still be alive, so I guess the answer is yes,” Alex concludes, letting a big smile settle on his face. “How did it all go for you?”

“Oh you know, typical finals shenanigans. Someone wrote the answers on the inside of their water bottle to try to cheat. Didn’t think I’d catch them.” Pez taps his head two times. “It’ll take a lot more to pull one over on me.” He winks. 

“Pez didn’t a student manage to sneak music into the exam?” Henry says from behind Alex. Alex turns around and smiles at him. 

Pez waves Henry off. 

“There was no sneaking, I just didn’t tell him I knew about it. He was listening to Britney Spears, I couldn’t take that away from him.” 

Henry laughs and shakes his head before taking a drink from his glass of wine. 

“Oh my god, Fox.” Alex laughs. “You would come to a bar and order a glass of white wine.”

Henry looks at him and acts offended by his statement. 

“Well some of us, dear Alex,” Henry says, laying his British accent on thickly, “do believe it best to be prim and proper whilst among parents.” He waves to the three parents currently there, greeting teachers at the door. 

Alex snorts, June rolls her eyes and walks away, Nora following behind her. 

“Ah yes, well,” Pez starts, laying his British accent on thick as well, taking a sip of something from his martini glass, “us Brits do certainly know how to behave in a manner fitting our standing in society, don’t we?"

“Ah yes, indeed,” Henry says, laughing. “We must always be prepared to possibly run into the crown, you see young Claremont-Diaz.” He pats the top of Alex’s head, and Alex swats his hand away. 

Alex forgets when he last smiled this much. 

“Do I need to run through town on a horse and shout that the British are coming?” Alex asks.

“Oh dear, wait until I buy you dinner before you announce that a Brit is coming.” Pez winks. 

It takes a moment before Alex realizes what Pez is implying, but he’s already walked away before Alex can give his response. 

He turns back to Henry who has pink cheeks and even pinker ears. Henry is trying to cover it up by taking a drink of his wine, but Alex can see embarrassment written plainly on Henry’s cheeks. 

“So, did you and Pez know each other before you were in Texas?” Alex asks, leaning against the bar. 

“Oh yes, we were close friends in uni,” Henry responds, perking up. “Wouldn’t be here without him.” 

“What made you both come to Austin?”

“Oh, well, Pez likes to travel and spend extended amounts of time in different locations. He is already looking for his next destination around the world.” Henry shrugs. “And, as I’ve said before, I had some family things I needed to avoid.”

“What are these family things?” Alex asks.

“Ah, a story for another day,” Henry responds.

Alex sighs. 

“Well, do you think you’ll move with Pez when he does?”

Henry shrugs again. It looks weird on him. Henry is so  prim and proper typically, shrugs don’t fit his demeanor. 

“I’m not sure. It depends on where he goes and depends on if I have real ties to this place.” 

“Ah,” Alex nods. 

“What about you? You recently came back to Austin. Will you stay?” Henry asks. 

Alex hadn’t thought that far. One of the things he needs to do is figure out if he’s going back to school or not. 

But, damn, did he miss being home. 

“I guess I’m not really sure right now either,” Alex responds. “I always assumed I’d end up back here, however. Family and all.” Alex nods towards June. 

“Understandable.” Henry glances in her direction and takes his last sip of wine. “I am going to get another drink, would you like one?” 

“I’m all good,” Alex says, beer still half full. “Thanks.” 

Henry smiles and moves down the bar to where the bartender is standing. 

“Hello there,” Alex hears a woman say from behind him. He turns around and sees Carmen. 

“Oh, hey,” Alex replies, giving a small smile. 

_ She’s just a nice parent _ , Alex thinks,  _ she’s not flirting _ . 

“How are you doing?” She asks. She pulls a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles up at him. 

“I’m alright,” Alex responds. He suddenly feels very awkward having a beer in his hands. “How are you?”

“I’m peachy.” She replies, moving so she’s closer to him. “You know, this is Leisl’s last year of high school.” 

“Oh yes, I do,” Alex says. 

This conversation is getting weird. 

“It’s such a shame, I’d have loved to have gotten to know you better. You’re such a wonderful teacher to her.” 

Alex isn’t sure how to respond. 

Nora was right, the way she is looking at him and finding an excuse to touch his arms is full-on  _ flirting _ . 

What’s her deal? Isn’t she married? 

“Well, I’m sure we will get to know each other plenty before you leave,” Alex says, not wanting to be rude, but also wanting this conversation to be over. 

“Oh, I do hope so.” She smiles. 

“Hey Carmen, can you help us with something really quick?” He hears someone shout from the other side of the bar. 

He tries to hide the sigh of relief as she walks away from him.  _ Dodged a bullet _ . 

Alex turns and takes a deep drink from his beer and looks around the room. He needs to distract himself with someone after finally escaping her. 

_ What happened to Henry? _

Nora and June are on the other end. He could interrupt them and latch on to their conversation, but the way they’re looking is intent and meaningful. It would be in his best interest to not try to penetrate whatever is happening there. 

He looks around again and notices someone else is absent. 

_ Henry.  _

“Hey Pez,” Alex asks as he passes by. “Where is Henry?”

Pez gives Alex a weird look. Alex doesn’t have time to figure out what it might mean. 

“He went outside, I believe. Needed a bit of fresh air.” He responds. Pez looks Alex up and down. “You should go check on him,” Pez says, then walks away. 

Alex frowns and looks back at June and Nora. He could let it go. If Henry needs fresh air, then he certainly doesn't need Alex in his orbit. 

June laughs, dropping her head on Nora's shoulder, and Alex sighs, putting his drink down on the bar and walking to the door to find Henry. 

It doesn’t take him long. Henry is just around the corner, a glass of something that Alex decides is most certainly  _ not _ water or wine in his hand, and is staring up at the sky. 

The stars aren’t very visible tonight. There are clouds and a lot of lights from the city preventing any from coming into full view. Alex is uncertain what exactly Henry is looking for. The way he is frowning, however, tells him Henry isn’t finding any help from being out here.

“You know,” Alex starts, moving next to Henry and looking up at the sky. “If you squint hard enough, the cloud to the right looks like Yoda.”

Henry lets out a huff of laughter and lifts his drink up to his lips. 

“You better get back in there before Leisl’s mom assumes you’ve left her.” 

Alex looks at Henry in disbelief. 

“The fuck? Why would I care?”

“Seemed like the two of you were getting quite close.”

“Getting  _ chummy _ ?” Alex jokes. Henry sighs. 

Apparently not in the mood for jokes then. Okay. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Alex asks, bumping Henry’s shoulder with a fist. 

Henry sways from the pressure but stands up straighter afterward. He’s looking anywhere but at Alex. 

“Nothing.”

“Do  _ you _ want to be chummy with Leisl’s mom? I won’t stand in your way. Though, isn’t she married?”

“Divorced.”

“Well, there you go Fox, get your woman then if that’s what you want.” Alex waves his hands towards the door of the bar. “I’m sure she’d be quite happy with the trade-off.”

“Christ Alex, I do  _ not _ want to date Carmen,” Henry says, taking the last of his drink in one gulp and placing the glass on the ground next to him. 

Alex debates stomping off inside and interrupting June and Nora. Henry is obviously in some kind of a mood and doesn’t want Alex near him. 

Alex huffs instead and juts his chin out. 

He never did back down from a battle. 

“Then what is your problem? Why are you acting so weird about her flirting with me? It’s not like I’m returning any of the feelings.” 

Henry’s laugh comes out dry. 

“What?” Alex asks again, louder this time and with double the amount of exasperation. 

“Alex, I’m gay,” Henry says, looking down at where their feet are. 

Alex watches Henry’s face, trying to decipher why that matters at this moment. Certainly it explains why he’s not wanting to date Carmen.

It makes Alex feel like a proper idiot. 

He feels his face heat up from embarrassment as he remembers past conversations. 

_ “Are pretty girls not your type?”  _ He had said. 

_ Jesus Alex, how stupid can you be? _

“There’s nothing wrong with being-“ Alex starts, trying his hardest to be comforting. Henry seems clearly perturbed by admitting this, so Alex is trying to handle it as well as he can. 

“I know there is nothing wrong with being gay, Alex, save me the pep talk.” Henry snaps, interrupting Alex and looking up finally. 

There’s a bit of anger clearly painted on Henry’s face, but Alex sees past it into the pain. 

If he knows there isn’t anything wrong with being gay, then why is he acting so embarrassed and hurt right now?

“I’m still not sure why that would mean you’d act so irritated after watching a parent flirt with me,” Alex mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Christ, you’re thick,” Henry responds. 

Alex frowns. 

“I’m really tired of people acting like I’m an idiot. I’m not, you know.” 

“Well, right now you’re being a clueless twat.”

Alex huffs. 

Henry turns to face him. Alex stands a little straighter. 

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Henry asks. His eyes look dark, and he’s chewing the inside of his cheek. 

Alex doesn’t think their faces have been so close before. He can feel Henry’s breath on his nose. (Fuck Henry for being taller than him- he has no fucking right.)

“Despite all my efforts, no, I don’t think I do, Fox,” Alex replies, glaring at Henry. 

He’s facing this as he does all things that confuse him. With anger. If it’s the inappropriate response he can figure it all out later. 

That is until Henry’s hands cup his face. Alex’s eyes go wide and he’s searching Henry’s own for an answer. But quickly Henry decides something and his lips are on Alex’s. 

There’s a small yelp that comes from Alex’s mouth at first, involuntary and completely unnecessary. 

The kiss is almost like they’re in middle school, lips tight and barely any movement. 

But, damn, Alex has to admit Henry smells really good (like clean linen and cedar.) His hands on his cheeks feel soft, the thumb rubbing up and down on his jaw makes him relax, and he moves, finally, into the kiss. 

And, damn, does it get even better. 

Henry pushes Alex gently against the wall, and Alex moves his hands to Henry’s waist, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. 

They break, only for a moment, Alex looking into Henry’s eyes and wondering if he’s finally figured it out. Maybe he’s finally got the answer to whatever it is between him and Henry. 

Why he feels so constantly drawn to him. 

But now isn’t the time for such thoughts. Not when Henry is looking down at him, breathing heavily and biting his lip. He is looking at Alex’s lips, and without thinking, Alex moves to kiss him again. 

Figuring out the answers to this can be done later. Right now Alex has something more important to do. 

That is, until they hear a shout. 

“Alex?” He hears a shout from the door to the bar. “Are you out here?”

They break apart again, Alex drops his hands and Henry moves his hands down Alex’s shoulders and arms, making Alex shiver. 

Henry laughs softly. 

“Fuck, it’s June,” Alex whispers. Henry nods.

“Over here, June!” Alex shouts out. 

He doesn’t want her to find them, but if he doesn’t respond she’ll become more persistent. 

Henry takes a step back. 

“Oh thank god, I was worried,” June says, turning the corner and walking towards them. She looks between the two of them, brows furrowed. “All good here?”

“Yeah, of course, Bug.” Alex smiles. “What’s up?” 

“Just needed to find you. Nora and I are headed out, are you coming with us?” 

Alex looks up at Henry, trying to figure out what their next move is. 

_ How do they follow  _ that _ up? _

“Uh,” Alex responds, trying to find the words. 

“Henry, I’m leaving!” Pez shouts from behind June. Alex swears he sees Pez wink in their direction. 

“Coming,” Henry responds, taking a moment to look at Alex. Alex tries to give Henry a lot that says I'm sorry. 

He isn’t sure how Henry takes it, but Henry lets out a deep sigh and gives a soft smile and walks away. 

“I’ll come with you,” Alex tells June, still watching Henry walk away. 

_ What does this all mean now? _

“Well hurry up then,” June says, walking toward Nora’s car. She’s pulled up and has the window rolled down. 

Alex shakes his head, trying to clear it, walks to the car, and gets in the back seat. 

For the remainder of the car ride, he only half hears June and Nora speak. 

When he gets to his apartment he lies in bed, fully clothed and above the blanket, staring at his ceiling. 

After twenty minutes he pulls his phone out.

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**can we talk?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, hope y'all enjoyed it. (They finally kissed- what??? I let them do that. damn. It only took us like 27k words but whatever.)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to talk to me about it in the comments or on Tumblr! I love to hear your thoughts (and I have many too, so like I won't be made discussing it haha.)
> 
> Check me out on Tumblr [here](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	12. Holy Sexuality Crisis, Batman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is obsessed with his phone, has a sexuality talk with Nora, and stalks Henry's Instagram.

Alex wakes up, still on top of his covers and fully dressed, phone in his left hand. 

Groggily he stretches, feeling restricted by his jeans and overheated from his long-sleeved shirt. 

Then it all hits him at one time. 

_ Henry kissed him _ . 

_ He kissed Henry back.  _

What does this all mean? 

_ He’s not gay, right? _

Like, he definitely still finds women attractive. 

Alex unlocks his phone, which immediately gives him a notification that he’s on his last 10%. He turns to plug it in while trying to open his text messages. 

He sees his text from last night.

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**can we talk?**

Painfully, it hasn’t been given a response. 

_ Maybe he is asleep _ . 

_ Maybe he hasn’t seen it yet _ .

Henry doesn’t have read receipts on, so there’s no way for Alex to know if he even saw the text. 

His heart tells him Henry  _ has _ seen it. 

But he tries to squelch that down and tell himself it doesn’t  _ matter _ if Henry responds or not. 

It was just a kiss, just a stupid kiss after they had been drinking, in a year where Alex’s life is falling to shambles. 

Alex leaves his phone on his nightstand and moves to take a shower. 

Maybe if he washes the day off it’ll make sense. Then he can laugh it off and move forward with his Christmas break. 

He lets the hot water run over him, and his body calms. No matter how he tries to distract himself with other thoughts, his mind keeps going to his bedside table. 

_ Has Henry responded yet? _

Alex’s heart rate spikes. He takes deep breaths to try to calm it down. There’s nothing serious happening, he doesn’t need to be so nervous. 

Alex pushes on, changing into his clothes for the day, making coffee, and pulling out his final exams to grade. 

No matter what, his mind is still stuck on his phone. 

He won’t let himself check it though. 

It was just a kiss. It’s not a big deal. It’s not going to happen again, he doesn’t need it (or want it, really) to happen again. 

They were a little drunk, acting weirdly, it was all out of Alex’s own being really. 

It’s like an entirely different Alex kissed Henry in a different life. 

Alex checks his watch, it’s been two hours. 

It feels like it’s been sixteen.

He told himself to not check his phone until he was done grading his government final. There is still half the class left, but it should be fine, right? Just check the phone and go back. 

Alex walks to his room and picks up his phone, fully charged now, and sees a message notification. 

He sighs in relief. 

Why, he isn’t sure. What is he expecting Henry to say? (Alex definitely doesn’t think about what he is  _ hoping _ to hear from Henry.)

He walks the phone back to the living room before opening the notification. 

When he does, he groans. 

**Bug**

**Wanna get lunch?**

Alex switches to his message with Henry.  _ Still nothing. _ No acknowledgment of his text, no wonder about what Alex  _ wants _ to talk about. 

Though Henry could probably guess. 

Alex checks the time again. It’s afternoon, Henry must be awake. He isn’t the type to sleep in. 

Alex puts his phone down and groans. Why is he so in his head about this? 

It’s all because that fucking asshole Henry kissed him and isn’t talking to him about it. 

What kind of asshole does that? Just kisses someone and then completely ghosts them? 

Alex’s phone starts ringing, and he is disappointed with how quickly he moves to check it. 

_ June _ . 

Alex sighs and presses the answer button. 

“Hey Bug,” he says. 

“You alright?” She asks. 

_How does she always know?_

“I’m fine, June. Just grading.” He replies, trying to play it off. 

“Well take a break and come get lunch with me.” She demands. “Be ready in five.”

“Fine.” Alex sighs. 

She hangs up and he stares at his phone screen before he tosses it on the other side of the couch. 

He stands up and grabs his wallet and keys before stepping out the door. 

Alex decides to take the approach of ‘a watched pot never boils’ policy with his phone. Maybe if he leaves it be he’ll get a response when he returns. 

**____________**

It’s Christmas and Alex still hasn’t heard from Henry. He’s texted him a few other times, using a variety of expletives and threats (none of which have worked.)

His family is at the table eating dinner and celebrating Christmas. Oscar is there too, sitting next to Alex and across from Ellen. 

It just feels better, having him here. 

June, however, keeps giving Alex weird looks across the table. 

**Bug**

**What’s your deal?**

**You keep looking at me weirdly.**

**Something’s off.**

Alex rolls his eyes at her. 

**nope**

**no deal**

Alex slips his phone back in his pocket. Luckily no one noticed them texting. They may be adults, but his mom still has a strict ‘no phone’ policy at dinner, and Alex doesn’t want to be on her bad side. 

“I’m just saying, Ellen, I could really help you out here,” Oscar says. 

June and Alex give each other a look. It’s been a while, but they know the start to a Claremont-Diaz fight if they’ve ever seen one. 

“And I’m just saying, _Diaz_ , that I’ve got this under control,” Ellen responds, stabbing her green beans with her fork. “It’s not my first time trying to get a bill passed.”

“No one does!” Oscar replies, voice raising. “These issues cause great political divides, and no one person can take it down.” 

“I’m aware, and I’m not alone.” Ellen drops her fork and rubs her face with her hands. “Don’t you have enough in your own state to work on?” 

Oscar shrugs. 

“I’m just saying, it could be good and useful. I could help you get this passed.” 

“Anyone ready for pie?” Leo jumps in. 

Bless Leo, but even he knows this won’t end with the offering of apple pie. 

“Can’t you let me handle my own job? I know what I’m doing.” Ellen says, the look in her eyes fierce and fiery. 

“I don’t get why me offering to help is such a big-” Oscar starts. 

“Jesus is  _ nothing _ sacred with you people?” Alex shouts. He knows he’s quick to lash out in this fight, it’s only been a couple of minutes. But his head is already so full with everything else happening, he can’t control how quick the frustration takes hold. “It’s fucking Christmas and you’re arguing?” 

The whole table is staring at him with wide eyes, Oscar’s mouth still hanging open from responding to Ellen. 

Alex puts his silverware down on the table and slides his chair back. 

“I’m going out for fresh air,” he mutters, walking out of the dining room and out the door. 

The cold crisp air hits him, and he immediately regrets not grabbing his coat, but there is no way in hell he’s going to go back in and face his family.

Alex is sure June is trying to calm the situation, Leo is probably bringing pie in, and Ellen and Oscar are probably sharing awkward glances. 

It’s always the same with them. 

Alex pulls his phone out and presses the call button on the one number he probably shouldn’t be reaching out to. 

_ Henry _ . 

He stands on the sidewalk listening to it ring. After the sixth one, he moves to hang it up, but then he hears a voice. 

“Hello?” Alex says into the speaker. His heart jumps. 

There’s muttering on the other side of the line.  _ A girl? _

Someone who sounds like Pez. 

Alex thinks about hanging up, thinking it’s a fluke, but then Henry clears his throat. 

“Alex, hello,” Henry says. 

He doesn’t sound enthused about talking to him right now. 

_ Maybe this was a mistake.  _

“Hi,” Alex kicks the grass where he stands. “I just-” he sighs. “I’m sorry, I just had a weird dinner thing with my parents and I-. I know we don’t usually talk on the phone, and you’re kind of avoiding me. But, I- I don’t know.” Alex shrugs as if Henry could see him. “This was stupid, I’m sorry. I hope you’re having a good Christmas Henry.” 

Alex takes his phone from his ear and ends the call. 

Alex isn’t sure what he expected to happen. He has tears forming in his eyes, and he isn’t sure why. It’s all just so  _ stupid _ and he hates this. Alex likes to be in control, but so much of this year has been him reacting to life instead of planning it. 

He looks down the road and resigns himself to walking. Nora is nearby with her family, and they live less than a mile from him. 

**Chaos Demon**

**coming over**

**walk with me?**

**👍🏻**

Alex continues down the road, slipping his hands in and out of his pockets. He’s fidgety with no reason to be. Even with his parents being who they are. 

When he gets to Nora she is already sitting on the porch, an extra sweatshirt in hand. 

“June told me you left your coat, thought you might be cold,” Nora says, tossing it his way. 

“Thanks,” he mutters in response, slipping it over his head. 

They walk along the dark street in silence before Nora speaks up. 

“So, what’s going on?” She asks as they round a corner. 

“It’s just my parents.” Alex groans. “You know the drill.”

“Yes, I do.” Nora sighs. “But there’s more. You haven’t been right since before break started.” 

“What do you mean?” Alex pauses and turns to her. 

“You’ve been moody and fidgety. You’ve also been weird about your phone.” She points to his pocket, where his hand is wrapped around it. 

Alex sighs and moves his hand from it. It hadn’t vibrated yet, so it probably wasn’t going to at all. 

“Henry kissed me.” He says quietly. Nora’s eyes go wide. 

“Well that’s cool, how was it?” She asks, a smile forming on her face. 

“Wait- what do you mean how was it?” Alex asks, frowning. 

“Well, y’all have been wanting to for a while, right?” She asks matter-of-factly.

“What?” Alex repeats. 

Nora frowns. 

“Didn’t you? The sexual tension was thick. I’m relieved, frankly, that y’all finally did something.” She laughs. 

Alex keeps frowning, and she stops her laughter. 

“Did… did you not know?” She asks. 

Alex looks up at the streetlight over them, thinking about it. 

“No.” He responds. “Not consciously anyway.” 

“Oh, well,” Nora coughs, “tell me about it.”

Alex sighs. 

“Did he use tongue?” Nora raises an eyebrow. 

“Jesus Nora,” Alex responds, moving to continue walking. “I’m not talking about it."

“Are you fucking kidding me,” she responds, “you’ve made me listen to so many sex stories throughout the years. In  _ excruciating _ detail, if I might add.” 

Alex groans. 

“Yes, Nora, there was tongue. Are you happy?”

“Good on him,” she bumps Alex’s shoulder. “Do you want to do it again?” 

Alex thinks for a moment. The kiss has been haunting him since it happened. 

“Well, if I wanted to that would mean a lot of things,” Alex says. 

“Like what?” Nora asks. 

“Well, like,” Alex stops again, raking his hair with his hands before dropping them again. “Nora, you’re bi.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” She states.

“How… how did you know?” He asks. 

“Uh, well, I don’t know. I was in middle school and saw Kristen Stewart for the first time. So, I guess I knew then.” She shrugs. “Wasn’t very profound.”

Alex nods and looks up at the sky again, wrinkling his nose.

“I just-” Alex sighs. “If I want to kiss Henry again, then, arguably that  _ means _ something, right?” 

“I’m not sure it’d take an argument to say that, yes, it definitely means something.” 

Nora is being incredibly patient, especially for her. Alex knows they both know where this is going. He just doesn’t want to say it. 

“Alex, it’s safe to say it if you want to.” She says after a moment. 

“I would have known before now though, right? Like I’d have known way before turning 25 that I liked guys. So maybe this is just part of my crisis this year.” Alex says. 

“Alex, I think we both know that’s not true.” 

“Fuck, Nora, yeah.” He turns and starts walking again. He can still see the roof from her family’s house because he keeps stopping to process. 

“Alex, I guess I assumed we all knew you were bi?” She says, ending it as if it were a question. 

“Uh, what?” He stops again. It’s been  _ maybe _ five feet. 

“Yeah, I mean even before the Henry thing. Don’t you remember Liam?” 

“Yeah, my friend in high school,” Alex says. “I haven’t talked to him in years.” 

“The way you two acted was  _ definitely _ more than just friends.” She says. “Didn’t you two kiss too?” 

Alex frowns. He had definitely forgotten about that. 

“We hadn’t kissed any girls yet,” Alex shrugs, “we were practicing.” He winces after saying it, the memories coming back to his head. They definitely stayed up until 3 am  _ practicing _ . 

That’s not a  _ straight _ move, is it? 

“Your face after you said that says everything you need to know.” 

Alex groans again.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “How did I not  _ realize _ ?”

“Better late than never,” Nora says, bumping his shoulder again and moving forward. Alex follows her as they turn the block. “So, are you going to kiss him again?”

“He’s not responding to my texts,” Alex mutters, pulling out his phone as if it’ll be different this time. He decides not to tell her about the weird phone call. It’s pretty clear Henry doesn’t want to talk to him right now. 

Nora frowns. 

“He’s probably panicking. How’d you respond to the kiss?”

“Well,” Alex clears his throat, “pretty enthusiastically if we are being truthful.”

“Yeah bud,” Nora says, raising a hand for a hive five. 

Alex cringes but raises a hand anyway. 

“But we were kind of cut off by Pez and June, and, well, that was it.” Alex shrugs. 

“Oof,” Nora says. 

Alex nods, pausing when he can see her house again. 

“I guess I should probably go back,” Alex sighs.

“Probably. But don’t give up hope Alex, you’ll get your man.” She winks. 

“Please no,” he responds, rubbing his face with his hands. 

She starts walking back to her house as Alex stands and watches her. 

“Hey, Nora!” He shouts. She turns around, waiting for him to continue. “Thanks.” 

She gives him a thumbs up and turns back to go to her house. 

When Alex gets to his doorstep he checks his phone and feels his heart leap at the notification. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**I hope everything is alright.**

**Happy Christmas, Alex.**

Alex hates the smile that forms on his face. 

He slips his phone back into his pocket, resigning himself to not respond. 

That is, until he gets back to his place later that night. 

**merry christmas fox**

Alex stares at a weird paint spot on his ceiling, trying to decide what the next move is. 

____________

Alex doesn’t get a sign of life from Henry again until New Years'. It’s not even in the form of a text, it’s on his Instagram. 

“Are you fucking  _ kidding _ me,” Alex shouts. Nora pops her head into the kitchen. 

“Please tell me you didn’t burn the wings.”

Alex thrusts his phone in her face. It takes her a moment before she looks from it to him, one eyebrow raised. 

“Are you instastalking Henry?”

“Oh my god, Nora that is  _ not _ the point right now.” He turns the phone so he can see it. “Don’t you see?”

It’s a picture of Henry and a girl who is kissing his cheek. She’s got short wavy brown hair, a sharp chin, and a jean jacket. He’s got a big smile on his face, one hand cupping her head close. 

The caption below only has three heart emojis and the hashtag  _ happy new year _ . 

“I see you’re not coping well,” she says, grabbing a cup and pouring herself a margarita. 

“Mr.  _ there’s nothing wrong with being gay _ is trying to make it look like he’s hetero.”

Nora rolls her eyes. Alex glares at the screen. 

He can’t help but think about how he heard a girl’s voice on the phone at Christmas. Is Henry trying to cover everything up? Or was the whole situation just to mess with Alex?

He spends his New Years drunk and glaring at his phone.

There’s no reason. It’s not like  _ they _ are dating. They kissed  _ one time _ . 

They start school again in five days. Henry can’t avoid him forever, and if Alex is good at anything, it’s confronting people head-on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you wanted my thoughts on a few things:   
> Alex: It was just a drunk kiss, it means nothing. I wasn't in my head. 
> 
> Me: Alex you had like less than a beer. You're not a fucking LIGHTWEIGHT. It's called DENIAL. 
> 
> But w/e. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave a comment or check me out on Tumblr! I love talking about these two idiots :). 
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	13. Accost and Acquit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first day back from break. Cue Alex panicking, Henry being scared, and some ~spice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *clears throat* enjoy some spice in this chapter.

Alex is at school early, for more reasons than just one. He needs to make a few copies for his new round of classes, set up the desks in a different arrangement, and confront Henry. 

He hadn’t heard from Henry after the Instagram incident. 

Not that he had  _ heard _ from Henry with the post. Alex had just decided he wouldn’t be talking to him until they could see each other. 

Had he, perhaps, spent  _ too long _ looking at his new year’s eve picture? Did he try to figure out who this girl was?

_Yes._

Did he find any answers?

Frustratingly enough, _no._

There are five more minutes until teachers are required to be in their rooms, and Henry still isn’t here. Alex paces the hall, pretending to fill up his water bottle, going to the restroom, getting more coffee from the lounge, anything to allow himself to walk by his room. 

_ Where is he? _

Alex is about to do another round, as there are only another fifteen seconds until all teachers are supposed to be there, when a student walks in. 

“Hey, Mr. Claremont-Diaz!” She says, books in her arms. “I have to help with morning announcements, but I have you for first hour. Is it okay if I drop my things off?” 

Alex looks past the girl and sees Henry walk by, pointedly not looking in his room. 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” He responds, waving to the desks and walking out into the hall. 

He tries to be casual, but his feet betray him with how quickly he walks. The bell is going to go off in five minutes for kids to start entering the hallways, so he only has a short amount of time to get his confrontation in. 

When he walks into the room, however, he sees that Henry is not alone. 

“Oh, hello Mr. Claremont-Diaz.” The man says. Alex tries to wrack his brains for who it is, but he has no clue. 

Apparently this guy knows who  _ he _ is though. 

“Uh, hello!” He replies, he sticks a hand out to the man to shake his hand. “I’m sorry for bothering, I was just going to talk to Mr. Fox here.” He points to him with his thumb. “Just want to clarify a few things on the schedule.” 

Alex looks to Henry, who visibly gulps before responding. 

“Well, we can talk later, Mr. Richards and I need to speak for a brief moment. His son is in my creative writing course this semester and he had some questions.” Henry says, body stiff and tensed up. 

Alex frowns while he thinks. The name sounds familiar. 

_ Where has he heard it before? _

“Okay, yeah sounds great.” Alex smiles and walks out of the room. When he steps out Richards closes the door behind him. 

Alex checks the time and realizes there is only another minute before his students show up. 

_ Fuck _ . 

**____________**

Alex tries again at lunch. He goes to Henry’s room, the teacher’s lounge, the cafeteria, and even checks Pez’s room. 

He’s nowhere. 

“It’s like he is avoiding you or something,” Nora says from behind him when he walks by Henry’s room again. 

“Huh?” Alex says, spinning around to look at her. 

“Henry. I think he’s avoiding you.” She says, pointing to the room. “You must have really given him quite the kiss.”

“Shhh,” Alex says, walking closer to her. “Be quiet Nora.”

“What?” She looks around. “Are you afraid he’s going to-”

Alex puts his hand on her mouth. 

“Fucking Christ Nora,” he whispers. “Be cool, damn.” 

She laughs when he moves his hand away. 

“Good luck, I can’t wait to hear how it goes when you  _ do _ get him alone.” She walks back to her room and chuckles the whole way. 

Alex continues to do the rounds, looking for Henry until the bell rings for class to start. 

**____________**

By the time the school day ends, Alex is vibrating out of his skin. He wants to get this over with. Henry has managed to evade him all day long, and he refuses to let it happen again. 

When he dismisses his last class he immediately goes to Henry’s room, dodging Sam and June who try to stir up conversations with him. 

He loves them both, but there is no way in hell he is going to stop right now. Not when he can see Henry in his room, picking up pencils off the ground. 

What an insufferable  _ ass _ . An  _ arse _ as Henry would say. 

Henry is wearing grey slacks and a navy shirt today. Alex hates it. He hates the way he has his sleeves pulled up to his elbows, the way he has a brown leather belt on, even the way his nice dress shoes (which fucking  _ match _ the belt, of course) make noises as he walks around the room. 

Mainly though, Alex hates how  _ hot _ he feels. 

He closes the door behind him, jerking Henry out of his thoughts. 

Henry’s eyes are wide, and he looks towards the door, clearly debating running for it. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Alex says through clenched teeth, calling Henry out on his thoughts. He doesn’t mean to sound so angry, but, well, he is. “You fucking dodged me all break, then all day at school.”

Alex walks closer to Henry, who is walking backwards to his desk. 

“I didn’t dodge you. We texted, you called me even!” Henry replies out of desperation. 

“Hah!” Alex replies dryly. “What about me wanting to talk about the kiss? Where was my response then?”

“Look if you’re angry I-” Henry says, hitting his desk finally. 

“Yes, I am angry!” Alex interrupts. “You fucking kissed me then left me for dead all break. You ghosted me, Fox.” 

Henry flinches as Alex grabs the front of his shirt. 

“You’re an ass, Fox,” Alex says, face moving closer to him. “I’ve been thinking about this all break.” 

It’s after this last sentence that Alex pushes Henry up on his desk, fitting himself between his legs. Henry looks shocked, but Alex doesn’t have time to look at his eyes or his face, or the way his ears are getting pink. 

He grabs Henry by the neck and kisses him. This time it’s Henry’s turn to let out a yelp, a sound of shock at the gesture. 

The difference this time, however, is they know more of what they  _ could _ be doing. There is no tight-lipped kiss, tense shoulders, or hands not knowing what to do. They both pull each other close on instinct, lips moving against each other. 

Alex knows he’s being rough, but  _ fuck _ it’s been long enough of a wait. He bites Henry’s lip, evoking a moan from him. 

He smiles, satisfied with it, before moving to Henry’s neck. 

“I’m so confused,” Henry breathes, moving a hand to the back of Alex’s neck, holding him there. “I thought you were going to punch me.” His voice cracks on the word punch as Alex bites right behind his ear. 

“Honestly, I wouldn’t still put it past me,” Alex replies. He moves back and sees Henry’s eyes, pupils dilated and lips parted as he continues to breathe heavily. “But I did nothing  _ but _ think of this over break.” He moves to kiss Henry again, but Henry holds him back. 

“Wait, really?” Henry asks, searching Alex’s face for an answer. 

“Yes,” Alex says with exasperation. “Now can you please just let me go back to kissing you?” 

“One moment,” Henry says, still holding Alex back. He looks obviously pained to not let him continue. “Why?” 

“Jesus, because I wanted to kiss you, okay? And then you weren’t _fucking_ texting me back. And then you had some girl on your  _ fucking _ Instagram.”

“Woah, do you mean Bea?” Henry asks. Alex groans. 

“I don’t know who she was!” Alex says, moving backward finally. His whole body is itching to move, to do something. 

“She’s my sister,” Henry says, Alex freezes. 

“Your-”

“My sister, yes,” Henry repeats. “I went to London for holiday with Pez and saw her and my mother.” 

“Oh,” Alex replies. He feels like an idiot, yet again. 

“Yes, so trust me that was not a kiss. As I’ve said before, I’m gay, Alex.” 

Alex nods. He moves to go back to kissing Henry, but they hear a vacuum running from the other room. 

It’s a clear indicator of the chance they could be interrupted at any moment, despite how empty the classroom feels.

“Look,” Alex starts, straightening Henry’s shirt for him. Henry watches his every move. “Here is what is going to happen. You’re coming to my place tonight.”

“But-”

“No, no buts besides your own.” Henry’s eyes go wide, cheeks becoming pinker. “I’m texting you my address. Eat dinner first. This is called payback, friend.” Alex pulls him by the shirt and gives him one last kiss. 

He walks away and pulls his phone out, sharing his address with Henry. Alex hears Henry’s phone ping as he walks out the doorway and smiles to himself. 

**____________**

Exactly two hours and one ham sandwich later, Alex hears a knock on the door. He jumps up and grabs the handle, takes a deep breath, and turns it. 

“Hey there-oh,” Alex says, face dropping. It’s June. 

“Hey, how did your first day back go?” She asks, stepping into the apartment. 

Alex checks his watch. There is half an hour before Henry gets there, but he can’t do this. Not now. 

He was hoping Henry came early. 

“It went okay, Bug. Now can you go? I’ve got something to take care of.” Alex says, the door still opened behind him. 

He does  _ not _ want the two of them to cross paths. 

Alex hasn’t talked to June about this yet, as he doesn’t want to put her in an odd situation. There’s no way the HR department would be okay with two teachers shacking up. 

June frowns and walks towards the door. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? You seem… sweaty.” She says. 

“Yes, I’m just busy,” Alex says. He feels his phone vibrate.  _ Henry _ . 

“Okay then,” She says, clearly not believing him. She walks down the hallway regardless. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Here.**

**hurry up**

Alex slips his phone back into his pocket and closes the door. 

He looks around and judges his apartment. Should he light a candle? 

How does it go when two boys hook up? Do you get flowers? Should Alex wear nice underwear?

He looks down at his jeans, pulling the waistband to look. 

_ Calvin Klein _ . That works. 

The knock startles him and he opens the door. 

“Hey,” Alex says. 

Henry is still wearing what he was for school. 

“Hello,” Henry replies, smiling and walking into his apartment. His eyes are traveling everywhere but on Alex. “Nice place.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Alex says, reaching out a hand. “We’ve had enough foreplay, wouldn’t you say?” 

Henry looks down at Alex’s hand and back up before taking it with his own.

“Indeed.” 

Alex smiles and leads him back to his bedroom. Henry kicks his shoes off, and Alex pulls him close to undo his belt, kissing his neck and focusing on not tripping over anything. 

When they get to the room they pause for a moment, Henry looking at the bed and back to Alex. 

“Last chance to back out.” He says. 

“I don’t back down, Fox. Never have.” Alex replies, pulling him close and moving him to sit on his bed. 

Alex moves to sit in Henry’s lap, kissing him hard and unbuttoning his shirt. 

His chest is softer than he imagined, but it feels nice under his fingers. 

Henry moves his mouth to Alex’s neck, sucking on a spot that makes Alex close his eyes and the fire in his chest grow. 

Alex gets Henry’s shirt off, and Henry slips Alex out of his own shirt. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t change clothes after work,” Alex says, moving to kiss Henry's jaw. 

“Well, I wasn’t left with much time, was I?” Henry replies. “Someone insisted I come over.” 

“It’s been two hours!” Alex says, moving from Henry’s lap and pushing him down so he is lying down, undoing Henry’s pants. 

“I had an after school meeting!” Henry replies. 

Even when they’re about to have sex, they still argue it seems. If anything it comforts Alex, makes him feel like this is all-natural. 

“Seriously?” Alex asks, slipping off his jeans and putting them to the side. 

“Yes,” Henry moves back on the bed, Alex following him to where the pillows lay. “And I had to get out early even to get here, so get  _ on _ with it.” 

Alex growls and continues to kiss him, moving to his neck, his chest, and down his stomach. 

He pauses. 

“You,” Henry coughs. “You don’t have to, you know.” 

“No, no, I want to, it's just.” Alex feels nervous. “I’ve not, uh, done this bit before."

“Sucked a bloke off?” Henry leans up on his elbows, looking down at Alex with an eyebrow raised. 

“Yes, that,” Alex replies, jutting his chin out. “So just, tell me if it’s horrible, okay?” 

Henry opens his mouth to respond, but Alex pulls down his underwear and shuts him up in one move. His fingers move to Alex’s hair, and his head leans back on the pillows. 

For a first time- apparently Alex isn’t as bad as he could be.

**____________**

They lie in bed, breathing heavily, and looking at the ceiling. 

“I think it’s time I told you-” Alex says, “I’m bi.”

Henry nods. 

“I’m  _ very _ gay,” Henry replies. Alex lets out a huff of laughter, turning to his side to look at Henry. 

Henry’s blonde hair is spread out on his pillow, a small smile on his face, his bright blue eyes focused on Alex’s brown ones.

It makes Alex feel very warm inside. 

His phone pings and he sits up to grab it. 

The sky is dark, so Alex checks the time, 8:30. 

“Ugh, it’s getting late.” Alex says, more to himself than to Henry. He opens the email he received, realizing it’s from Georgetown. A slightly nauseous feeling crawls into his stomach. “I hate that I just said that.” He turns to look at Henry. “Teaching makes me feel like such an old man.” 

Henry laughs, and Alex looks down at his email. It’s about whether he is coming back in the fall. 

_ Right _ , Alex thinks. He puts the phone back down on the nightstand and looks at Henry. 

“You should probably go,” Alex says. Henry raises an eyebrow. “It’s late, and I don’t want you to be caught by June.”

“Ah,” Henry says, sitting up. “I forgot she lives in this building.”

“Yes, and she likes to drop in at random times,” Alex mutters, moving to his dresser to grab a pair of pajama pants.

He turns around and sees Henry buttoning up his shirt. 

“Don’t overthink,” Alex says, noticing the wrinkle between Henry’s brows. He wants to smooth it out with his thumb. “It doesn’t have to be a  _ thing _ .” Alex continues, leaning against the doorframe. 

Henry nods in response, tucking his shirt in and leading Alex out of the room. 

They awkwardly walk down the hall to the living room, Henry picking up and putting on his shoes, before they make it to the door. 

Henry pauses and looks at Alex, hand on the door handle. 

Alex reaches out and kisses him. Henry sighs and leans into it, obviously relieved. 

“Don’t ignore me tomorrow,” Alex says as he walks out the door. Henry laughs. 

“I don’t think it’s possible to ignore you, Alex.” He says before walking down the hall. 

Alex watches him leave before he turns the corner for the stairs, and then he closes the door to his now very dark apartment. 

He looks in the direction of the room, and the email waiting for him. 

_ What the fuck is he going to do? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to comment or come talk to me on Tumblr about this/rwrb/carry on or whatever else. I'm always down haha. 
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	14. Backstories and Plotting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex learns more about Sam and Henry. He meets with Luna, gets fidgety early on Saturday, and has brunch with Henry. 
> 
> There's spice, cookies, and an email to Georgetown.

“Okay, kid,” Luna says, sitting across from Alex at a table in his room. 

They’re having another mentor/mentee meeting to discuss standards he has taught, and how he is preparing students for ACT and SAT exams. 

_ Test prep _ . It makes Alex want to throw up. He knew it would come, but didn’t realize just how much time testing sucks from teaching time. Alex also assumed teachers were on board for testing. 

_ Boy was he fucking wrong _ . 

No one seems to hate testing more than teachers. It’s refreshing, however it illuminates further how the government doesn’t listen to actual professionals. 

“I think I can figure this out,” Alex says, looking at the paperwork in front of them. “Why do we need to do this?” 

“Because the district paying you wants us to,” Luna replies, pulling out a bag of chocolates. “Here, take one. It’ll help the process.” 

Alex reaches out and grabs a few mini Snickers bars. 

There’s another benefit to teaching. Other teachers always have candy and snacks. Alex never has to worry about starving when at school. 

“How’s the Mesopotamia class going?” Luna asks. 

“It’s alright. I only have nine students in the class, however.” Alex shrugs. “It makes it easy for grading, but none of them are really interested in the material. I think if I could get this LGBT course started more would enroll. Why would anyone be desperate for a Mesopotamia class?”

“It’s a history credit, and has a reputation for being easy.” 

Alex laughs. 

“Well, I have one student who is already failing, so I’m not sure how much easier I could make it.”

“Oh?” Luna replies. “Who, and why?”

“Joseph. He isn’t turning in any work, no matter what I do.” Alex sighs. “I’ve called his family and heard nothing. Zahra and I are going to talk about it tomorrow.” 

Luna nods.

“Yeah, he has a history of that. I hoped he would have grown out of that by now, but apparently not.” 

“I worry something else may be a factor in it.” 

“There’s always another factor in these situations. Whether it be lack of family involvement, mental health, or otherwise. You’ll learn that in time Alex.” Luna continues. “But I’m glad you’ve already realized it. Don’t just assume that kids  _ want _ to fail. It’ll only make you an old and bitter teacher.”

Alex nods. He may be frustrated, as he’s working hard with this student, and it feels like he isn’t being met halfway. What could be going on?

His parents unresponsiveness seems to answer part of that question at least. 

“The only good part of the class is that Sam is in it.”

“Sam Lefner?” Luna asks.

“Yeah, love that kid”

“How is he doing? Have things improved at home at all?” He asks. 

“I think alright. I don’t know the full story of what may or may not be happening, but I do know he’s been sticking with us on Saturdays.” Alex shrugs. 

He gets a little sad realizing he won’t be seeing him Saturday. 

How is he going to spend Saturday mornings now?

“No one filled you in?” Luna frowns. “Typical,” he mutters. 

Alex starts unwrapping the Snickers, waiting for him to continue. 

“His parents both died before he started high school,” Luna begins. Alex's eyes go wide and he puts down the candy bar. He had always assumed the person picking Sam up was his mother. “His grandparents took him in, but they’re both very old and not doing well health-wise. It’s hard for them, I think, to take care of a high schooler. His aunt helps out at times, but I think she’s had a rough go of it.” 

“Oh,” Alex says. How else can he respond to that story? 

“That’s at least what I know, there are some who know more. Darla Cruszmark knows a bit more I believe. They really bonded when he was in her class. He took her elective course last semester too.” 

Alex nods, looking down at the paperwork. 

He knew something was happening with Sam, but never this. Never this bad. Being so young and losing  _ both _ of your parents. 

That couldn’t have been easy. 

____________

“Did you know,” Alex says, eating lunch with Henry in his room the following day, “what happened to Sam before he started school here?”

Henry nods, chewing on a bite of celery. 

“It’s so heartbreaking. I can’t imagine losing a parent so young.” Alex mutters, getting a spoonful of soup. 

Henry’s face scrunches. 

“What’s that face for?” Alex frowns. 

“It’s not hard, er,” Henry clears his throat, “for me to imagine, I guess.”

Alex puts his spoon down. His throat feels tight thinking of the implication.

“It’s not?” He asks quietly. 

Henry shakes his head. 

Alex thinks for a minute. Henry mentioned seeing his mother over break, so it can’t have been her. Henry would have been more visibly upset, right? Unless it was a ‘ _visiting his mother’s grave_ ’ situation. 

Alex looks up at Henry, who is very pointedly looking down at the tiny Tupperware container he has peanut butter scooped into. 

“Was it your-” Alex starts to ask. 

“Father, yes.” Henry interrupts. 

Alex feels grateful for not having to guess. 

“I’m so sorry.” Alex offers. Should he grab his hand? Go around Henry’s desk and give him a hug? 

How do you provide comfort for a person you’re having sex with, but not exclusively in a relationship with? 

There’s no manual for this situation. ‘How to emotionally support your coworker with benefits’ isn’t something you’re able to order from the bookstore. 

“It’s alright, it’s been almost a decade,” Henry says, dipping another celery stick in the peanut butter. “I’ve processed.” 

“I’m not sure any amount of processing fixes it,” Alex says. “Can I, uh, ask how? You don’t have to answer. I know it’s lunch at school and you may not want to get into it.” 

“Er,” Henry looks up at Alex, finally, and his eyes seem watery. “Maybe later?” 

Alex nods. 

“Yes, yes, of course. That’s fine. I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Alex smiles, hoping to comfort Henry. When Henry smiles in return Alex’s heart feels warm. 

“Let’s talk about setting up a meeting with the PTA, shall we?” Henry asks. 

It shifts the mood, and Alex is only grateful for it. He still isn’t sure how to handle the emotional intensity of finding out Henry lost his father so young. 

“Yes!” Alex responds enthusiastically. 

“Any ideas?” Henry asks, smirking. 

He knows Alex has them. 

“I think we need to figure out, first, who we can get on our side. You know these people better than I do. Who do you think we could get to support us?” 

Henry ponders for a moment. 

“Let’s see, the current president is Jocelyn. She might be inclined to support us in our endeavor, but she’ll want more people to be vocal about it before she is. She’s typically very bipartisan, she doesn’t want to hit hard issues unless it has a following.” 

“Okay, who can we get on our side to persuade her?”

“Not Mrs. Richards, for sure. She’s the current treasurer, and is the type of conservative that would measure girl’s skirts while boys run cross country shirtless.” 

“Gross,” Alex says, reaching into his lunchbox for his Oreos. 

“Yes, gross indeed.” Henry laughs. “But there are a couple of others I’m sure we could get. The Coxs might be persuaded, and the Jensens are already in our boat. They’re very vocal about LGBT rights, so they’ll help get more people to support us.” 

“Great, love that.” Alex nods. “So, do we need to meet with these parents separately before we meet with the whole? Are we going to bring them to the school board with us?”

“I think it would be good, yes. Having an army of parents on our side will more easily help us persuade the board, and therefore, the administrations above our heads.” 

“Great. Who do you feel comfortable talking to? We could touch base with them after school today?” 

Henry chuckles. 

“There’s always a fire under your ass, isn’t there?” He asks. 

“Only when I need to win.” Alex shrugs. “ We know who we need to attack, let’s fucking  _ do it _ then.” 

“Yes, I agree, it’s important to go quickly, but also none of these parents are going to respond well to us attacking them in the parking lot. We need to do it naturally.” Henry says, closing his Tupperware container and putting it into his box. 

“The next PTA meeting isn’t until the end of this month, so we have time. These parents are all heavily involved, we can talk to them in casual settings. If it comes to the end of the month and we haven’t talked to them, then we can discuss accosting them in the parking lot.” 

Alex huffs. He isn’t good at being patient, at waiting to solve a problem. He goes headfirst or not at all. 

“Fine, I guess.” Alex sighs, putting away his lunch. 

The bell rings, cueing the two of them to separate. 

“Hey, uh,” Alex says before leaving. “If you, I don’t know, wanted to come over again some time.” He coughs. “You know where I live.” 

Henry smirks and nods. 

“Indeed I do, Alex.” 

**____________**

It’s Saturday, and Alex feels like he is missing something. It’s 7 am and he is staring at his ceiling, trying to wrack his brain for whatever it is he  _ should _ be doing right now. 

He pulls his phone out and presses call on the first number that comes up. 

“Hello?” A groggy voice answers on the other line. Two rings, that’s all it took. 

“I can’t sleep.” Alex starts. He’s never been good at greeting others on the phone, he gets straight to the point. “I was trying to figure out why I thought something was missing, but then I realized.”

“No Saturday detention duty?” Henry offers, voice still thick with sleep. 

Alex should feel worse about waking him up, but he’s too wired, too awake, and ready to move. 

“Exactly!” Alex sits on his bed, agreeing enthusiastically. 

He hears a bark in the background, and Henry sighs. 

“Do you have a dog?” Alex asks. 

“Yes, and he senses I’m awake and is demanding food.” Henry groans, and it does things to Alex’s insides. “So I guess you are now not the only one awake this early on a Saturday.” 

Alex winces. He should have been more cautious. 

“Sorry,” Alex says, genuinely starting to feel bad. “I can let you go?” 

He hears the sound of dog food hitting a metal bowl, and Henry whispering  _ good boy _ . 

“How about I make it up to you?” Alex asks. “Brunch? 40 minutes?” 

Henry laughs. 

“Sure, Alex. Brunch sounds great.” 

“Awesome,” Alex smiles and hangs up, jumping up to get dressed for the day. 

**____________**

They get to brunch, but Alex feels incredibly distracted the entire time. Henry comes looking like a GQ model. He’s wearing dark grey pants and a light loose grey shirt, and the sunglasses he has tucked into the neck of his shirt only makes Alex feel more uncomfortable in his chair. It’s all so relaxed and casual, and any time they touch Alex feels fire shoot up his body. 

They’re at Alex’s place again, in bed, clothes strewn about the apartment. Alex licks Henry’s collarbone, working down his chest. 

He’s determined to become a pro at blowjobs. At least blowjobs on Henry. The way Henry’s toes curl, the tight grip of Henry’s fingers in his hair, and the sharp inhale Henry takes when Alex  _ finally _ gets to where he wants him are all motivators. 

Alex finds himself wanting to do more, find out what makes him tick. He’s learned he can give Henry goosebumps by lightly trailing his fingers on the underside of his thigh, and he’s always rewarded with a sharp intake of breath when he bites the skin behind his left ear.

Alex has always been great at studying, so in these moments he takes the time to study Henry. 

“Fuck,” Henry whispers as Alex continues, refusing to let up. 

It’s in these moments Alex can forget everything else. He can forget the need to respond to his Georgetown email, the papers he needs to grade, any expectations pressed upon him. His whole world comes down to a singular point- Henry. 

And when Henry kisses him after, deep and slow, not caring about where Alex just was, what Henry can  _ taste _ , it makes him even forget where he is. His brain blanks, finally, becoming clear. 

When Henry moves to his neck, down his chest, finds the divot on his hip, Alex can’t think of anything that isn’t an expletive, or just how  _ good  _ it all is. 

And when Henry, listening to Alex’s pleads, moves further, taking him into his mouth, Alex’s eyes close and his head leans back. 

And  _ fuck _ why did he ever let them go through all those stupid Saturday detentions, the stupid fight over a  _ book _ under his desk when they could have done  _ this _ all along. 

“If I had known I could shut you up by doing this, I’d have done it a lot sooner,” Henry states, laughing and turning to his side to look at Alex. 

Alex’s eyes are still closed, and he swears he’s trying to respond, trying to joke. But also he’s letting the feeling sit. The sense that nothing else matters, that he can just  _ exist _ . 

He hits Henry’s chest and lets out a huff of laughter instead. 

It’s got to be about noon at this point, meaning they spent all of Saturday morning together. It’s almost poetic if Alex thinks too much about it. They moved from spending their Saturday mornings locked in a school building with teenagers, to now lying in Alex’s bed, bodies sweaty and breathing heavily. 

_ It doesn’t have to be a thing,  _ h e said. 

It’s not, certainly. 

When he turns to his phone he sees several texts from June. 

**Bug**

**Alex?**

**Where are you?**

**Don’t you remember**

**we are baking cookies today**

**for the bake sale at school.**

**Don’t flake on me!!**

**I’m giving you fifteen minutes**

**before I come banging on your door.**

Alex checks the time of her text.  _ Five minutes _ . He has  _ five minutes _ until she walks to his door. 

Maybe  _ this  _ was what he forgot about today. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he says, jumping up and throwing on pants. “June is about to come over, I’m going to go cut her off, but you’ll need to leave.” 

Henry’s eyes go wide and he jumps up, grabbing his pants and shirt, pausing and looking for his underwear. 

“Oh shit,” Alex says, seeing them hanging off the lamp. “Sorry about that,” he laughs, tossing them to Henry. 

Henry smiles and lets out a soft laugh. 

“You didn’t hear me complaining,” he responds, slipping them on. 

Alex runs to the door and to June’s apartment, cutting her off. 

“About time,” she says, glaring at him as she opens the door. 

He’s huffing, out of breath. 

“I’m so sorry, I completely forgot.” He closes the door behind him and shoots Henry a ' _ safe to leave' _ text. 

“Did you bring the chocolate chips?” She asks, turning to the counter. 

He freezes, realizing they’re in the cabinet. 

“Fucking hell, go get them,” she points to the door and he sprints out to grab them. 

He passes Henry in the hall, who immediately looks panicked and starts turning back to the apartment. 

“No, no, you’re fine. I just forgot something.” Alex reaches forward and kisses him softly, pausing only for a moment before running to his apartment. “Later, Fox!” He waves behind him. 

**____________**

**From:** [ **aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu** ](mailto:aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu)

**To:** [ **guadmiss@georgetown.edu** ](mailto:guadmiss@georgetown.edu)

**Subject: RE:** This Fall

Hello,

Can we talk Tuesday at 4 pm? I would love to ask some questions. 

Thank you,

Alex Claremont-Diaz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :D. 
> 
> Feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr or comment below, I would love to talk more about it!
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	15. A Four Eyes Punk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professional development, contacts in the trashcan, family dinner with Leo, and a three day weekend.

Alex wakes up and slowly gets out of bed. 

It is a professional development day, yet again. How much could one teacher _possibly_ be developed professionally?

It means he can sleep in a little, which is nice, but for some reason he manages to feel even _more_ tired than usual. 

He lazily makes his way to the bathroom, trying to shake his hair out in the mirror to get rid of the bedhead. 

Today is not a _get dressed and look your best_ kind of day. It’s more of a _try your best_ one. 

He brushes his teeth and hears his phone go off, but decides to wait another moment before checking it. 

In his top left drawer is his box of contacts, and he realizes he is down to his last pair when he goes to grab a new pair. 

If he had realized this he wouldn’t have tossed his other pair in the trash. 

It was time, for sure, but he’s always pushed the life of his contacts further than he should. Contacts are fucking expensive, and the gift of eyesight is not one he received at birth. 

He gets a new order in on Monday, but having only one pair is nerve-wracking. 

He opens the contact containers, preparing to put them in, when he hears his phone go off again. 

Alex adjusts his glasses and reaches for it to see what’s going on. 

**The Hamilton Trio**

**Nora**

**Carpool?**

**Bug**

**Yes.**

👍🏻

Alex sighs and slides off his glasses to put in his contacts. 

He’s a pro at putting them in, especially without being able to see what he is doing. 

Not that he doesn’t mess up at times, but typically it’s smooth and easy and he’s done in ten seconds. 

The contact goes in easily into his left eye, but when he goes to put the contact into his right eye, it slips out and onto the counter. 

Alex shrugs. It happens sometimes, and landing on the counter is no big deal. He just needs to wash it with some solution and he’s good to go. 

He picks it up to clean it off and try again, but it slips off his hand and into the trash can. 

He stares at it for a moment, watching it hang on the bag and some discarded tissues. 

**The Hamilton Trio**

**question**

**is it safe to take a contact**

**out of the trash and** **still use it**

**Nora**

**How gross is your trash can?**

**Bug**

**Please don’t**

**NORA!**

**its trash** **its not exactly**

**the pinnacle** **of cleanliness**

**Bug**

**Alex, we have five** **minutes until we leave.**

**Just wear your fucking** **glasses.**

**It’s not the end of the world.**

Alex glares at his phone before setting it down again and looking up at the mirror. 

Maybe he could survive with only one contact in. He can see perfectly out of his left eye, it’s just the right one that is blurry as fuck. 

He nods and goes to walk out of the bathroom, but immediately hits his head on the door frame. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, rubbing his head. 

One contact won’t do it then. 

He looks back at the trash can.

The contact is sitting on a tissue he had just used to blow his nose. 

June’s voice sounds off in his head; _Alex, that’s fucking gross. Don’t do it._

If she found out she’d murder him. 

And the idea of possibly getting pink eye doesn’t sound appealing. 

Alex sighs and removes his left contact and puts it in his contact container, before grabbing his glasses and slipping them on. 

Pausing in the mirror he looks at his face. His hair is less styled than normal, there are definite bags under his eyes, and his shoulders are slumped. Alex hates wearing his glasses out of his apartment. 

Not that they look bad on him, he just hates needing them. At least with contacts he can create the illusion of not needing anything to help him see. Glasses, however, tell everyone that he can’t see, that he needs _help_.

People don’t need to know this part of him. 

Alex jumps at a knock at the door, sighs, and goes to grab his school bag and leaves. 

If this is any indicator of the day, it’s not going to go well. 

**____________**

The staff is sitting in the cafeteria, coffees and bagels in hand, ready for whatever the day may bring. 

Alex keeps fidgeting with his glasses. 

“Alex, you look fine,” June whispers in his ears. 

“I know,” Alex pouts, dropping his hands. 

He isn’t used to the frames sitting on his nose. All he can see are the edges of the frames in his eyesight. It feels heavy and unnatural. 

He sees two people in the corner laughing, and they seem to be looking in his direction. 

“I need to go to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” He tells Nora and June, getting up and walking away. 

When he reaches the bathroom, however, he runs into Carmen. 

“Hey there,” she says, brushing a hair behind her ear. 

Alex does _not_ have time for this today. 

“Hi, how are you?” He looks towards the restroom door. _He was so close_. 

“I’m alright,” she smiles a little too large. “I actually was wondering if the two of us could meet sometime? I had some ideas for a club I think you could help out with.”

“What club?” Alex asks. He’s not actually interested, but he may as well hear her out. 

“We could talk about it over drinks? I know you spend too much time at school.”

Alex has to keep his eyes from rolling. He sees Henry walk by and he gives him a look, hoping he saves him. 

“I don’t think that is appropriate,” he starts. 

“Alex- did you hear we are working in our rooms today?” Henry says, moving beside him. “I need your help in my room, could you follow me up?”

Alex smiles, _what a relief_. 

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Womack,” he says, “we have a lot to do.”

“No, no, I understand. I’ll talk to you later,” she replies, smile dropping and walking away. 

Alex hopes they never talk again. 

Alex and Henry walk up to his room when Alex realizes something. 

“Wait, don’t we need to go back downstairs?” He frowns, confused. 

“As I said, it’s a work in our room day.” 

“I should go get my things-” Alex says, turning to go back. 

“Alex,” Henry says. It’s forceful and quiet, and Alex freezes, encapsulated by whatever weird energy Henry is exuding right now. “We are going to my room. Is that alright with you?”

It’s then Alex realizes what Henry is implying. 

“Lead the way, Fox.” 

They walk, casually, as if they aren’t about to do something in his classroom. 

Henry locks the door and starts kissing Alex as soon as they are out of the window. 

“Wait, I should take off my glasses,” Alex says. There’s no way the glasses won't get in the way of kissing (which he'd much rather do than properly see.)

“No, no, it’s fine,” Henry replies, grabbing the hem of Alex’s shirt and lifting it over his head. “I don’t want you to not be able to see.”

He leads him to his closet, Alex’s shirt still in hand. 

“Are we going to fuck in your closet?” Alex asks. 

“Well, there are no windows, so what would you suggest?” Henry says, turning the handle and stepping inside. 

It’s a fairly large closet. How did Henry get both the large room _and_ the large closet?

“What’s spurring this?” Alex asks. “Not that I’m, you know, complaining.”

Henry closes the closet door behind them, drops Alex's shirt, and moves to his knees. 

“Oh,” Alex says. Henry undoes his belt and pulls down his pants. 

Alex’s only thought for the next few moments is about the way Henry’s hands are on his thighs. It’s too dark to see anything, but he can imagine Henry's blue eyes, looking up at him from below. 

“Is this because of Carmen?” Alex asks.

Henry wraps a hand around him and gives an experimental pull, making Alex moan. 

“Do you ever stop talking?” Henry asks. 

Alex closes his mouth. As long as Henry continues what he is doing, Alex will gladly shut up for a long time. 

**____________**

They walk out of the closet, disheveled and breathing heavily, trying hard to straighten out their appearance. 

Alex feels grateful for coming to work already looking a little worse for wear. It makes his current state less noticeable. 

“So, er,” Henry says as they move to sit at a table. “You wear glasses?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex adjusts them on his nose. “I usually wear contacts, but there was an incident and I don’t get any more until Monday.” He pauses and looks at Henry who is pulling out papers from his bag. “You don’t think they look bad, do you?”

“No, definitely not,” Henry replies, clearing his throat afterward. 

Alex doesn’t miss the pink tinge on his ears and decides to stow that information away for later. 

“I should go get my bag,” Alex says. “I’ll be right back.”

Henry nods, grabbing a pen and looking through essays. 

They spend the rest of their professional development working together, playing music, and joking around. 

**____________**

“I’m sorry your mother couldn’t be here tonight,” Leo says, pulling brussel sprouts out of the oven. 

Ellen had an emergency meeting and is in D.C. for the week. She insisted dinner still be held without her because ‘the chicken is going to go bad anyway’. 

“Oh it’s alright, we are still family,” Alex says, reaching forward and scooping some mashed potatoes onto his plate. 

He means it, Leo may not be his biological father, but he’s always been there and been supportive of Alex. They aren’t the closest, of course, but he makes Ellen happy. 

If he’s being honest, Leo has shown up in moments when Oscar hasn’t. Leo was there when June dragged him back from Georgetown. 

He was also there when he was an undergrad, piling too much on his plate. 

Leo is calmer than anyone else in Alex’s family, it’s a good balance. Everyone else runs at a mile a minute, but Leo makes them stop and smell the flowers, take a rest, and realize they’re not going to miss out by taking time out of their day for a nap or a stupid game. 

He’s a good balance for Ellen. 

“Anyone want a glass of wine?” June asks, grabbing a few glasses. 

Alex shakes his head, already with a glass of water in hand. 

Typically he wouldn’t pass it up, but he’s tired and his brain’s been hazy enough without the addition of alcohol. 

The stress of talking to Georgetown is on his mind. Looking at classes next year feels overwhelming. 

“How is everyone?” Leo asks, pulling Alex out of his thoughts. 

“Peachy,” June replies, grabbing a piece of fried chicken. 

“I’m here,” Nora sighs, grabbing a spoonful of brussel sprouts. 

She passes the bowl to Alex and he immediately passes it to June. Leo frowns but doesn’t speak up. 

“I’m alright,” Alex adds, eating a bite of a roll. 

Leo chuckles.

“Such a talkative group.” He says. “Alex, how’s school? How about that one kid you had trouble with. What was his name?” Leo looks to June. “Harry?”

“Henry,” Alex replies. Nora snorts beside him, and he sees June give the two of them a weird look. “Things are alright. We’ve buried the hatchet. We are actually working together on a few projects right now.”

Nora chokes on her drink. He elbows her in the ribs. 

God only knows what she was thinking when he said they are working on _projects_. 

“Oh really? What projects?” Leo asks. 

Alex fills him in, realizing he hadn’t actually talked to him and Ellen about it. Leo responds enthusiastically and asks for updates as Alex goes through the process. 

The flow of conversation happens naturally afterward. June discusses being an administrator, Nora discusses parents yelling at her about ‘new math’, and Alex talks about how brussel sprouts look like tiny brains. 

He pointedly does not bring up Georgetown. There’s no use in involving the parents until it’s confirmed and set in stone, right?

**____________**

After dinner the three of them head home, Alex feeling sleepy and ready for bed. They get the day off on Monday for Martin Luther King Jr. day, so he has a chance to sleep in. 

Damn does he feel ready for it.

“Can we talk?” June asks from behind him. 

Alex has his key in the door and he looks her over. Her eyes look worried and she is playing with her fingertips. 

_Something’s wrong_. 

“Yeah, of course,” he opens the door and gestures for her to go in first. 

She steps in and immediately goes to his couch as he turns on the light and takes off his shoes. 

“So,” she starts, picking at the couch. “You and Henry seem a lot closer lately.”

“Well, yeah. We are working together on this club and class. I guess it’s in my best interest to be cordial.” Alex replies. 

June scoffs and rolls her eyes. 

“What?”

“Alex, come on,” June says, raising an eyebrow and looking at him. 

“I’m confused.”

“Alex I know you two are seeing each other.” 

Alex freezes and stares at her. 

“Did Nora tell you?”

“No- wait? She knew?” June asks, standing up from his couch. “You told Nora and not me?”

“I assumed it would put you in an awkward situation. I’m sure two teachers aren’t allowed to be together in the same school.”

June pauses, frowning and looking him over. 

“You’re not wrong, but still. I can separate work and family!” She crosses her arms and starts glaring at him. “You could have told me, Alex.”

“Look I’m sorry, okay?” Alex says, reaching out and trying to calm her down. “It’s a secret for now. Really, no one knows, and it’s not a big deal.”

She looks him up and down again. Her face has softened, but her eyes are still squinting at him, examining his features and his response to her question. 

“Fine,” she huffs. “I won’t tell Zahra, but be careful.”

Alex nods.

“Yes ma’am.” He winks, she hits him on his head and laughs.

“Night, punk.” She says as she walks out. 

He gives her a wave and turns back to his apartment. As he walks back to the couch he feels his phone vibrate, and he knows who it is immediately. To help himself know who different people are he assigns different ringtones (and therefore different vibrations) to those who he talks to a lot. 

His chest feels too warm, realizing it’s Henry, but he suppresses the feeling and pulls his phone out. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Brunch tomorrow?**

**😉**

**of course Fox**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to sound off in the comments or come yell at me on Tumblr! I love both of them and talking about these kids (and teaching.. and the educational system overall haha.)
> 
> Also for the record- the scene in the cafeteria when Alex thinks two people are laughing at him, they're not. He's just insecure in his glasses... but hopefully seeing Henry's reaction to seeing him in glasses changes his mind a bit. 
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	16. Gimme Gimme Gimme a Man and a Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex feels the pressure to make decisions, anxiety builds up, some quality David time, and Henry- being the wonderfully gentle person he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I titled this chapter using an ABBA song... sue me.  
> (Please don't... I'm poor.)

**From:** [ **guadmiss@georgetown.edu** ](mailto:guadmiss@georgetown.edu)

**To:** [ **aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu** ](mailto:aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu)

**Subject: RE:** This Fall

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time out to discuss rejoining the program in the fall. If you have further questions please reach out to your advisor, Lauren Bleaker. She can help get you registered for your classes and give you a projected end date. 

In the meantime, we look forward to seeing you on campus again in the fall. 

Have a wonderful week!

Alex stares at the email, a slur of thoughts going through his head. It was only one conversation. One conversation where he was exploring his possibilities, whatever they may be for next year. 

Nothing’s been decided yet.

But, if that’s the case, why does this feel so  _ final _ ? Why is it that Alex feels like his world is crashing around him. 

“Hey there, bud,” Nora says, walking into his room. “Got something on your mind?” 

Alex shrugs, closing the tab to not look at the email. 

“Is it Georgetown?” She asks. 

She always seems to know. 

“Do you read minds?” 

“It’s June, her witchy ways have worn off on me.” Nora jokes, pulling a chair up to Alex’s desk. 

It’s cloudy outside, rain softly hitting the windows of his classroom. The weather only adds to the ambiance of Alex’s mood, ominous and gloomy. 

“I’ve just got some decisions to make,” he sighs. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

The thing is, he does. She knows he does. But he’s too tired to think about it right now. He shakes his head and closes his laptop. 

“Okay, well, now is probably a bad time to tell you what just dropped in your mailbox.” She says, handing him a slip of paper. 

“What is it?” He asks before opening. 

“Letter of intent.” 

“Letter of intent? What the hell is that?” He tears the tape and opens the paper to look. 

There are several boxes for him to select, all asking what his intention is for next year. 

“What it sounds like, Alex,” she says. 

“Why don’t they just do contracts?” He looks over to her, still very confused. 

“Contracts won’t be out until May, but they like to know so they can begin the interview process now.” She shrugs. 

He looks back down at the paper again and can feel his eyes glazing over thinking of his options.

What would it look like if he stayed here another year? Would he get the LGBT class he wants? What would the situation look like with Henry? 

Maybe they’d both find people to date and this whole  _ thing _ , whatever it is, would fizzle out. 

Alex’s stomach churns at the thought. 

On the other end, however, is going back to Georgetown. Finishing his law degree. That’s been his goal all along, right? Getting his law degree, fighting for the  _ little man _ , getting his way into politics. 

His head, however, can’t help but think of how it ended. He was  _ drowning _ and struggling to breathe. Alex lived off coffee and B12 vitamins, studied constantly, and needed his family to pull him from the situation in the end. 

Did Alex pass all his classes? Yes.

Was it at the great cost of his mental health? Very much so. 

The thought of going back makes him feel sick, but the thought of staying makes him feel like his world is crashing around him. Staying means he’s quit, he’s given up on everything he planned. 

“Want a drink?” He hears from the doorway. The voice is different, deeper. When Alex looks up he sees Henry at the doorway, and Nora is gone. 

“Wait where did Nora go?” Alex says, trying to figure out how long he had been sitting there in his head. 

“I’m not sure, but you look like you need to get away,” Henry responds, pointing a finger out the door. 

Alex nods, folding the paper back up and collecting his things, following Henry out the door. 

The car ride is quiet, both of them in Henry’s Prius. 

They pull up to the bar and Henry puts the car in park and pauses, looking at Alex. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks. 

“No,” Alex responds. 

Henry raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t push or insist, but there’s knowing on his face. Henry knows Alex  _ wants _ to talk, needs to even, but he won’t drag it out of him. Henry is allowing Alex to say it in his own time. 

He lets out a groan. 

“Ugh, yes, I do,” Alex says. It immediately feels like a release. The stress releases some from his shoulders and he can breathe a little easier. “But not in your car.”

“Alright, do you want to go inside?” Henry points to the bar. Alex wrinkles his nose. 

“My flat isn’t far, we could go there. I’ve got wine and some beer Pez left the other week.” 

“That sounds good, yes,” Alex says, leaning back, pulling his legs into the seat and sighing. 

They’re quiet for a moment as Henry pulls out of the parking lot, then Alex huffs out a laugh. 

Henry turns to look at him, a perfect blonde eyebrow raised in a question. 

“ _ Flat _ .” Alex says, laughing a little louder. 

Henry rolls his eyes and turns up the music, trying to drown Alex’s cackling out. 

When they walk into Henry’s apartment, Alex pauses inside the doorway, taking it in. 

It’s aggressively soft, which Alex should have expected from Henry. 

There is a light blue throw on his charcoal grey couch. A light wood coffee table, large windows, plants littered around, and even a cookie jar with chocolate chip cookies in it. 

Alex goes to grab one but stops when he hears the soft pitter-patter of what he assumes in Henry’s dog. 

“Hello,” Henry says, bending over and scratching the beagle's ears. “Did you miss me, David?” 

Alex tries not to laugh. 

“Wait, your dog’s name is David?” He asks. 

“Yes,” Henry stands up, the dog moving to Alex, searching for pets. “Short for David Bowie.”

“Why not call him Bowie then?” Alex asks, smiling and reaching down to scratch David’s ears. He gets on his knees and the dog jumps up to lick his face. 

“Bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Henry asks. 

When Alex looks up at Henry his face looks soft, his genuine smile large on his face, causing a slight wrinkle in his eyes. 

“I should probably take him on a walk, you’re welcome to sit here if you’d like,” Henry says, reaching over to grab his leash and doggy bags. 

“Can I come with?” Alex asks. 

It might be easier to talk with fresh air. 

“Of course,” Henry replies, clipping David’s leash on his collar. 

They walk out, David excitedly leading the way. The rain finally has stopped, leaving a humid air around them. The clouds are starting to move on as the storm passes, and they can start to see a mix of colors in the sky as the sun begins to set.

It’s still getting dark too early, but something about the sun starting to set calms Alex. Especially at this moment. 

“Would you like to talk now?” Henry asks. 

Alex takes a deep breath in and a long exhale out, then he begins. He isn’t even sure where he is going with it as he talks. He starts with the Georgetown email, the letter of intent, how he isn’t sure what he is supposed to do. Alex doesn’t mean to get into it, but he talks about some of what happened, and why he is hesitant to go back. 

Henry takes it all in stride, letting Alex talk it out, nodding his head to let Alex know he is still listening. 

It’s refreshing, honestly. If this were June she’d already be creating a plan for him, Nora would be patting his back in comfort and telling him to  _ follow his heart _ or some bullshit, and his parents would give him answers so vague he’d probably kick something. 

Henry, however, just lets Alex vent and process. 

It isn’t until they are back in his apartment, sitting on his couch with David between them, Alex’s hand softly scratching David’s belly and Henry leaning with his elbow on the back of the couch, his head leaning on his hand, that Alex finishes. 

There’s a few moments where things are quiet, and Alex starts to squirm, worrying he went too far. They don’t talk like this.

“It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders,” Henry says finally. Alex looks up and sees Henry looking back at him. His blue eyes make him feel calmer. “But you’re doing everything you can to figure out what you want, it seems. You’re exploring your options, there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

Alex nods, processing Henry’s response. 

Usually, Alex feels he isn’t doing enough, that he needs to have it all figured out. He’s not heard that he’s doing it all right before, that what he is doing is what anyone would expect of him. 

“Letters of intent aren’t contracts,” Henry continues, “so don’t let it stress you out. You can always put maybe or that you’d like to talk to Zahra about it more. It’s not a permanent decision, she’ll understand that you have some things to figure out.” 

Alex nods again. 

He starts to wonder if the stress is just made up in his head, maybe it really is this easy. 

He sighs. 

“Should we, I don’t know, eat or something?” Alex asks. 

Henry nods, both in answer to Alex’s question and in understanding that the topic is closed for now. 

“Takeaway or shall we cook?” Henry asks, moving to the kitchen. He opens the fridge and passes Alex a beer. 

“I wouldn’t say no lo mein right now.” Alex shrugs. 

“All right then, I know the perfect place.” Henry smiles and grabs his phone. “Crab rangoon?”

“Egg rolls too, please,” Alex adds, taking the top of his beer off. 

Henry nods and continues to click on his phone. Alex leans against the counter and watches him. He’s relaxed, wearing a light grey jacket, deep blue jeans, and a maroon shirt. It’s more casual than Alex has ever seen him, and it makes his heart skip a beat. 

When Henry puts his phone down he gives Alex a look. 

“It might be an hour.” He says. 

“Oh?” Alex responds, his mind immediately going to one place. He steps forward, reaching a hand for Henry’s. 

Henry intertwines their fingers, and stands up straighter, looking down at Alex. 

They could ask ‘ _ do you want to do this?’  _ But they already know. Alex leans up, the heels of his feet leaving the cold tile floor of Henry’s kitchen. Henry leans down, putting a hand behind Alex’s neck, and puts the other on his waist, pulling him closer. 

They move to Henry’s bedroom, leaving clothes in the hallway as they move, slowly kissing and touching each other. 

The sky is dark now, but the street light that shines in Henry’s bedroom illuminates his skin as he lays under Alex. It makes his light blue eyes look a deep navy blue. 

When this usually happens they’re fast, desperate, and needy for each other. But this time it’s soft and precious. Henry touches Alex like he is made of glass, fragile and precious. Alex continues his study of Henry, finding a spot on his chest that makes him arch his back when he bites it. 

It’s domestic, soft, gentle. 

When the doorbell rings, indicating the arrival of food, they’re in bed, Alex’s head on Henry’s chest, fingers tracing circles on Henry’s arm. 

David barks. 

“It’s the food,” Henry says softly. Alex nods and moves to sit up, freeing him to go get the door. 

Henry grabs a pair of grey sweats and a long sleeve salmon shirt. Before stepping out he points at the drawer.

“If you need a different set of clothes, you’re welcome to whatever you’d like.” 

He disappears down the hall and Alex moves to the dresser. 

Alex grabs a pair of black joggers, which he has to roll up five times to make sure they fit his legs, and a red t-shirt. 

When he steps out of the bedroom he sees Henry setting food up on the coffee table in his living room. 

“No dining room table, Fox?” Alex asks. 

“Thought since we have Chinese food, and comfy clothes, we could relax and watch Netflix or something.” Henry shrugs. “I can move if you-”

“No, no,” Alex interrupts. “It’s perfect.”

He grabs a box and sits on the couch cross-legged, breaking apart the pair of chopsticks the restaurant gave. 

“What do you have in mind?” Alex asks. 

“How about the Great British Bake Off?” Henry asks, grabbing the remote. 

“Why does that absolutely fit your complete aesthetic?” Alex responds, laughing and leaning back. 

“What does that mean?” Henry asks.

“It means it’s soft and British and innocent, just like you.” Alex says. “It’s not bad, it’s great really.” 

The smile Henry gives him makes Alex smile back. 

“Press play then, Fox.” Alex says, gesturing to the television with his chopsticks. 

“As you wish,” Henry says, winking, and pressing play on the tv. 

____________

After they eat, they make their way back to Henry’s room, rougher and faster this time. Their moves more desperate, and the way they handle each other is less fragile, harder, and as if they are fighting again. 

When they lie in bed after, however, eyes half-lidded and almost asleep, the stars, moon, and street lights shining into Henry’s room, everything is soft and light. 

“I feel it’s only fair to tell you,” Henry says, running his fingers through Alex’s hair. “About the other week, when you brought up Sam, and you asked about my father I- well- I lost him in high school to cancer.” 

Alex stays quiet, waiting for Henry to continue. 

“It was hard, and it felt nearly impossible to go to college knowing he wouldn’t be there to watch me graduate. I almost didn’t make it across the stage for my high school graduation since he died shortly before that.” 

Alex looks up at Henry, and sees his eyes glinting as he looks down at him. 

“It was hard, but I made it through with the support of others.” Henry continues. “I think that’s part of why I became a teacher, to be there when students need someone the most. I’d like to think we are doing that for Sam, supporting him that is. Having people who love you unconditionally is important, especially at this age.” 

Alex tries to think of a response, but his brain cuts short, so he leans up and kisses Henry softly for several moments. 

It turns into Alex telling Henry that he is strong and brave, and how selfless he is. 

For a man who Alex once thought was conceited and posh, he ended up being soft and kind, and quite the opposite. 

Alex doesn’t like to admit when he’s wrong, so he probably won’t say it out loud, but damn was he wrong about this one. 

They fall asleep in Henry’s bed, legs tangled up, Alex with his head on Henry’s shoulder, one of Henry’s hands in his hair, and David at the foot of the bed snoring softly. 

Alex doesn’t care that he once was against the two of them spending the night. It feels too  _ good _ . Too  _ right _ . 

The smile that Alex can’t keep off his face would betray him if he tried to deny enjoying it, and the way Henry’s chest rising and falling relaxes him and lulls him to sleep himself. 

**____________**

When Alex gets to school on Monday he takes the letter of intent and follows Henry’s advice, marking the page and commenting that he’d like to talk more about next year, before turning it in. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**dinner and GBBO?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it.  
> As always, feel free to shoot me a comment or a message on Tumblr screaming about life and this stuff. I'm always down :).
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	17. The Art of Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tries to have a meaningful conversation with Sam, runs into a couple of PTA members at the store, and plans conversations to get someone to help them with their endeavors.

It’s Saturday, which hasn’t meant much lately other than waking up early for no reason and maybe getting groceries before the weekend crowd. Today is different, however. Today Alex and Henry are on the rotation for Saturday detention duty, and Alex feels a weird sense of normalcy and excitement to see the gang get back together. 

Alex is in the lobby, waiting for Henry to show up with a box of donuts in hand. Sam and another student are already sitting in his classroom working. 

When Henry walks in, dressed in khakis, a striped shirt, and his charcoal coat, Alex can’t help but smile. 

He seems to be doing that a lot with Henry lately. 

“Hello there,” Alex says warmly. 

The sudden urge to kiss Henry washes over him, but he knows kissing in the lobby would be horrible.

They agreed they’d keep this a secret. 

Well, a secret from most. 

June and Nora both know, of course. Pez knew before they kissed, which explained the weird looks and the push to get Alex to find Henry when they first kissed. Henry also told Alex that Bea found out almost immediately, despite being across the ocean. Alex can only imagine _how_ , but it seems sisters always seem to know. It’s the curse of being the younger brother. 

It’s a small group at least, as no one else needs to know about them. It’s not serious enough, it’s not a _thing_.

That’s what Alex is telling himself. When he gets a text or call from Henry, it’s not serious. Henry spending the night, or vice versa, means nothing. Feeling Henry’s breath on the top of his hair as Alex gently traces circles on his arm because he can’t fall asleep, but he doesn’t want to move and wake a sleeping Henry, because he feels warm and right all at once, isn’t serious. 

Henry’s hand taps Alex’s as they walk down the hall. It’s a small gesture, but it’s enough to pull Alex from his thoughts.

“Alright?” He asks softly. 

Alex nods and smiles. 

It is alright. It’s completely alright. 

**____________**

Saturday detention feels normal and comfortable. All those weeks getting up and moaning and groaning about it must have created the natural routine in Alex’s head. This doesn’t mean that Alex would prefer to spend _every_ weekend at school. He’d definitely enjoy a morning at home drinking an entire pot of coffee with music playing in the background as he works. 

But this is nice too. 

Sam is sitting at Alex’s desk asking him questions on an assignment from his Mesopotamia class, and Henry is down the hall with a freshman kid, Jaime, to help with book choices in the library. 

“Thanks for your help,” Sam says, writing the last answer to his homework. 

“Of course, Sam,” Alex replies. 

There’s a moment when Sam is ripping off the edges of his paper after tearing it from his notebook where Alex watches him, thinking. 

Luna’s voice echoes through his ears.

_“His parents both died before he started high school.”_

Sam looks up and gives Alex a look and a smile, and Alex decides he has to do something, say something.

“Hey, Sam, I just wanted to say you’re doing a great job. I’m really impressed with the work you’ve been doing.” 

“Oh, thanks!” Sam replies, smiling and awkwardly flipping to a new page of his notebook. 

“How do you think your senior year is going?” Alex continues. 

When Alex was a kid he remembers the way teachers seemed to effortlessly be able to talk about heavy matters with students. They could connect and help those who needed it. Even in movies teachers are able to give sage wisdom and advice, helping the protagonist figure out their next move. 

Alex, however, doesn’t feel like it’s very easy right now. He wants to support Sam and make sure he knows he has adults who care, even when he feels like no one else is around, but how can he do that over Saturday detention? 

“Good! I’m excited about senior prom and graduation.” Sam answers. 

Alex starts to wonder if maybe he’s making a bigger deal out of everything than he should. 

“Ah yes, well that should be great too.” Alex coughs, deciding to leave the conversation at one more point. “I just want you to know that if you need any help or someone to talk to- I’ve got your back, kid. The world can be tough sometimes, but you’ve got people who care about you.”

Sam looks up and gives an awkward smile, and Alex returns it before standing up to move to his desk, patting Sam on the shoulder twice. 

He tries not to cringe at the painful dad move, but he hopes the point landed just the same.

Luckily Henry returns once he sits down, saving him from an awkward silence. 

“Ready to leave?” He says while walking in, a gloomy Jaime walking behind him. 

Alex raises an eyebrow in question, which Henry responds to with only a roll of his eyes. 

Obviously the library trip wasn’t pleasant. 

When they get outside, Alex prods Henry for more information. 

“What happened with you guys?” 

Both kids are walking to separate cars, preparing to leave. Alex sees what he assumes is Sam’s aunt in their car and Jaime’s dad in theirs. 

“It was horrid. I was simply helping them pick a book for their classics essay, but instead they decided to mope about. It was bloody impossible.”

“Oof,” Alex replies. “Did you end up finding anything?”

“I was told there were books at home they could use, so I decided to leave it be.” Henry shrugs. “How was your time with Sam?”

Alex turns to move back into the lobby, where he left his bag. Henry follows. 

“It was good. We worked on his assignment for my class.” Alex sighs. “I tried to do that weird comforting teacher thing with him, but I don’t know if it landed.”

“Weird comforting teacher thing?” Henry asks, an eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah, you know, that thing where teachers give super meaningful advice or comfort. It seems to always happen in the movies when a kid needs to hear it the most.” Alex shrugs, pulling his bag on his shoulder. He got enough work done that it feels much lighter than normal. “I just wanted to check in on him, given, you know.”

“Ah,” Henry replies. Alex looks up and Henry has a soft smile on his face. “Since you found out about his parents.”

“Yeah, I just, I don’t know. I felt like an idiot. He probably thought I was crazy.” Alex takes a step closer to the door, not wanting to sit in the emotion of failing, but Henry grabs his hand. 

It’s not rough or hard, Alex could easily keep moving if he wanted. But Henry always manages to get him to stop and listen. 

“You’re not an idiot,” Henry says, pulling him so Alex’s toes are nearly touching his, “life is not like a movie. It won’t always be beautiful monologues and clear cut answers. I think the important part is you showed Sam he has people who care. Sometimes that’s all a kid needs. I believe it takes years for anyone to get _really_ good at those conversations, and even then you don’t know how it’ll land.” He pulls Alex close by his neck and kisses his head. “I think you did great, and I’m sure Sam appreciated it.” 

Alex isn’t sure what to say, so he wraps his arms around Henry’s waist, squeezing him close for a moment. Henry smells like good cologne, the kind you buy behind the counter, and earl grey tea. It’s unimaginably _Henry_ and wonderful. 

He takes a deep breath before letting go. 

“I’ve got to meet June to get groceries,” Alex states. “But I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Henry replies, kissing Alex softly on the lips. 

_So much for not kissing in the lobby_.

**____________**

“Do you have your list?” June asks as they step out of her car. 

She has an arm of reusable bags and is pulling out her phone.

“List?” Alex asks.

“Yeah, like a grocery list.”

“Oh, no I’ve got it all in here,” Alex says, tapping his head with a finger. 

June rolls her eyes.

“I bet you forget half of what you need.”

“I won’t. I need coffee, eggs, milk, bread, and all those necessities.” Alex replies. “Oh and laundry detergent. Don’t let me forget that.”

“If you made a list you wouldn’t forget it,” June says, grabbing a cart. 

Alex typically goes grocery shopping alone, but June insisted this time. She says it’s because they need more brother/sister time, but Alex wonders if it’s more. June knows it’s not hard for him to forget about food when he gets hyper fixated on something. 

She’s already grabbing a bag of apples, telling Alex he needs to eat his fruit. 

“So, how are things with you and Henry?” June asks, examining cauliflower. 

“What do you mean?” Alex frowns, grabbing one that looks good and handing it to her. 

“Well, he is your boyfriend, so I just wanted to-”

“What?” Alex asks, frowning and looking at her. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“He’s not?” June asks. “But he’s over all the time? You guys text all the time. I guess I just-”

“We aren’t, though. It’s not a _thing_ , okay?” Alex says, hoping it ends the conversation. 

June nods, but Alex can tell she doesn’t truly _hear_ his words. 

He’s right, though. They’re not a _thing_. 

Alex wonders when it might end. When Henry finds someone he really wants to be with, and whatever they’re doing ends. 

Alex tries not to think too much about it, and the way he feels a pit in his stomach grow.

He gets distracted, however, when he sees a family walking through the freezer aisle. 

“Oh, hello Miss Claremont-Diaz.” The woman says. “And, Mr. Claremont-Diaz, correct? I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” 

She reaches a hand out and Alex shakes it and her husband’s. 

“And you are?” He asks.

“I’m Loren Jensen, and this is my husband Clark.” She says pointing to the man she is with, who is grabbing a pizza from the freezer. “I’m on the-”

“PTA!” Alex interrupts. “Yes, I’ve heard of you guys. Mr. Fox and I are actually coming to your meeting next week.” 

June has slowly made her way down the aisle away from the conversation. Parent interactions make her feel weird, especially as an administrator. Alex doesn’t mind so much, especially when he realizes it’s a parent he needs to speak with. 

“Oh, yes. Do you mind me asking why?”

“We are wanting your support as we bring a class and club idea to the school board. I guess it’s been rejected in years past, so maybe having your support as part of our community would help.”

“What club and class are you thinking of?” She grabs the bag of tater tots her husband threw in the cart and tosses it back his way, whispering that he needs to grab a different brand.

“I would love to teach an LGBT history course as an elective, and Mr. Fox wants to start a UNITY club. We think it would be really wonderful for the kids to have and to learn from. It could spread a lot of awareness and help provide a deeper understanding of history.” 

Loren nods the entire time Alex talks. He has the whole spiel down, as he and Henry have been talking nonstop about what they’re going to discuss at the meeting. 

He _has_ to get her approval. She could really help them.

“Anyway,” Alex says after a few minutes, “sorry for talking your ear off about it.” He’s not. But southern charm never hurt a situation. “I’m just excited at the possibility and think it would be great for our school.” 

“No, I think it’s great. I’m completely on board. I’m upset it’s been denied in the past, frankly.” She sighs, watching her husband turn the corner. “I should go, but would you mind if I talked to a few others about this? I think it could get them on your side.”

Alex smiles, the large one that he knows shows his dimples off. 

“That would be great, thank you so much.” He replies. “I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend. I’ll see you at your meeting.” 

She smiles and walks away, looking for where her husband walked off to. 

It takes Alex a moment before he runs after June, who already made it to the dairy aisle without him holding her back. 

His mood completely changes, and he even lets her force him into getting face masks to do together that night. 

This one trip to the grocery store is worth a million face masks with June if it means he can get this class started. 

Alex forgets his detergent.

**____________**

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**i talked to the jensens at the**

**store just now about our meeting**

**they are on board**

**Did you talk to them or**

**accost them, Alex?**

**I am, however, grateful**

**they are in support.**

**It makes it easier to**

**have more on our side.**

**we need to think of ways to get**

**more of them on our team**

**Any ideas?**

**i might have one**

**And that would be?**

Alex presses the dial button to call Henry, deciding the conversation is too much for texting. 

“Okay, so,” Alex says as soon as he hears Henry answer, “I was thinking this would all be much easier if we knew more people and had a stronger foundation in the school community. I’m only here for the year, and you’re still fairly new.”

“What’s your point, Alex?” Henry asks.

“My point is, what if we could get someone on our side? Someone who is ingrained in the culture and respected by parents?”

“Who do you have in mind?”

“Rafael Luna. He’s my mentor, and we are close. He’s someone I always looked up to as a student, so even if it ruffles feathers with parents he will be fine. I can talk to him and get him to help us out.” Alex pauses for a moment, thinking. “Do you think that’s alright?”

“I think anyone willing to help is a great idea, Alex,” Henry responds. 

Alex smiles, feeling a wave of warmth rush through him. 

It feels nice to have a plan, and even better to have Henry’s support on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Feel free to come check me out on Tumblr :) I love talking about these two! (And Alex is... well... an idiot.)
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The PTA meeting and a family dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! It's time for more teachers :). 
> 
> A couple of apologies:  
> 1\. Sorry for taking so long! Me and my betas have been going through it(tm). But we are back and I'm already working on the next chapter after this one :).   
> 2\. This chapter is like 2x longer than my normal chapters. I hope that's alright!  
> 3\. For the character I named Alec Cox. I didn't mean to do you dirty like that... but it made me laugh. 
> 
> ENJOY!

Alex sits in his car outside of school, waiting for Henry to show. He has a bad habit of showing up either early or late, and today made him feel jittery and anxious.

It’s time for their meeting with the PTA, hoping and praying they’ll help them get the school board and district to approve of their class and club. 

He jumps when he hears a tapping on his window. 

_ Henry _ . 

“Hello,” Alex says, opening his door and taking the key out of the ignition.

“Are you ready?” Henry asks, hands moving to his pockets. 

Alex wants to reach out and grab them. Instead, he fiddles with his keys and locks the door. 

“Always,” Alex replies. 

“Is Luna coming?”

They’re walking to the front door, the soft taps of their footsteps on the blacktop hitting the same beat. It’s an odd comfort, and Alex doesn’t want to ruin the rhythm, the feeling of being one, together. 

“No, he’s been gone all week,” Alex sighs, pausing to open the door. “I’ve been texting him but there has been no response.”

It’s true. Alex, ever persistent, has tried to reach out to Luna the entire week. He had hoped he could get him on their side, for the seniority status. Alex knows he can put the good fight in, and the PTA meeting isn’t classified as the final boss by any means, but any support is good support. 

Unfortunately, Luna has been absent both in school and in responding to texts.

Beside Alex Henry lets a huff out in response. 

“It’s alright though, we’ve got this. The Jensens are on board, and I think she’s talked to a few others as well.” 

They walk into the conference room to see a group of women standing around cookies, talking. 

There is one man, the token dad it seems, but mostly they seem to fit the bill of PTA parents. 

Alex puts on a big smile, dialing up the charm, and starts shaking hands immediately. 

He recognizes Loren Jensen from the store, who gives him a large smile in return and hands him a cookie. 

“Hello, I’m Jocelyn Freemont,” a woman wearing a pink blouse says, reaching out a hand. “Current President. We are excited to hear about what you have to say today.” 

“Hello Mrs. Freemont,” Alex replies in turn, “thanks for allowing us to take up some of your time tonight.”

Alex hears Henry talking with the only other man in the room, Alec Cox. Alex had to stifle a laugh at the name. Poor dude probably had a rough middle school experience. 

They’re discussing whatever book Henry is teaching at the moment as Alex continues to make awkward small talk before the meeting starts. 

“Well, I think this is everyone, so why don’t we go ahead and get started,” Jocelyn says, taking a seat at the table. 

Everyone slowly migrates to the table, and Alex has a brief moment of panic before he sees Henry already at a seat and nodding to the seat next to him. 

Alex smiles, grabs his water, and takes the chair. He feels Henry’s knee give him a slight tap, a way of providing comfort as they approach whatever lies ahead of them. 

This is the first  _ real _ step they’re making with this. Alex takes a deep breath and listens as the meeting begins. 

Jocelyn takes a moment to make sure Alex and Henry know everyone and vice versa. She goes over brief housekeeping, the agenda, and turns the discussion to them. 

“Now, you’ve already spent your whole day here, I’d hate to keep you for too long, so why don’t you guys start us off? Then afterward you are free to stay or go if you’d like.” She has a warm smile on her face as she puts her hands in her lap, patiently waiting. 

“First, we’d like to say thank you for allowing us to take up part of your meeting tonight,” Henry starts, an equally warm smile on his face. This part they planned. The parents know Henry better, many of them respect and like him, they are putting their strong player up first. 

Before Alex comes in and debates, of course. 

“Of course, y’all are the T in the PTA.” Loren jokes. The woman next to her laughs softly. 

“The sentiment stands,” Henry continues, “We wanted to get your support as we bring something to the school board.”

Henry glances at Alex then to continue. 

“I am proposing an elective course for next year to teach LGBT history, and the impact it has had on our nation and the world around us.” Alex begins. 

He stops when someone walks through the door. She has bleach blonde hair, wired frames perched midway on her nose, and a purse Alex recognizes as designer (couch? No, Coach.)

“Apologies, I had to help Jeff with something,” she explains as she sits across from Alex. 

“Quite alright Mrs. Richards,” Henry says, giving a smile. 

Alex purses his lips, the name Richards sounding familiar. He glances at Henry as she gets situated, waiting for his head to catch up. 

His brain lights up, remembering Henry had warned she may not be on board with this idea. 

“Please continue, I am sure I can catch up,” she says, smiling. 

Alex clears his throat before continuing. The secretary next to her tilts her laptop so she can read through the notes. 

He doesn’t miss the way her lips purse as she looks back up.

“Yes, well, as I was saying. I think this class could be useful in allowing students to explore more history of our country and world than what is in the standard curriculum. It gives them the opportunity to hear and understand ideas that pushed our world to where it is today. It also would allow them the space to discuss issues still pervasive in our society today in a safe and controlled space so they can grow and become stronger individuals.” 

Everyone at the table is listening intently, some with smiles on their face, some neutral. Alex is typically good at reading a room, but at this moment it is hard. 

“In conjunction with the ideals of this class,” Henry starts, “I would like to start a UNITY club.”

Alex hears a cough come from across the table, but he ignores it, continuing to watch Henry. 

“As Alex so perfectly said,” Henry continues, smiling in his direction. It gives Alex a feeling of warmth and calm. “It allows students to have a fuller education on the world around them, and of themselves. By also having something outside of a class, it gives students the opportunity to educate others in the community around them. This includes not only the school but the community they live in.” 

“Exactly,” Alex says, tapping Henry’s leg with his knee softly. “As educators we are committed to helping our students feel safe, engaged in the real world around them, and to create a more compassionate and empathetic generation.”

“Safe,” Henry repeats, “safe to express themselves, to understand who they are, and to know there is nothing  _ wrong _ with them.”

There’s a beat where no one says anything. Alex looks at the faces around him, some soft smiles, Richards biting the inside of her cheek in thought, and Henry giving him soft eyes that contradict the way his chin is jutted out. 

Alex realizes he isn’t the only one geared up for a battle and returns the smile. 

“Well, I think it is a great idea,” Loren says, “there are a lot of studies showing kids who are LGBT are at higher risk of suicide and harassment, and by giving them better education and a feeling of belonging and safety, we could head a lot of that off.” 

A few parents nod along. 

“I agree, I would gladly support both of you bringing this to the school board. My husband is part of the board and I can discuss it with him.” Another parent offers. 

Alex exhales, but when he looks across at Mrs. Richards he feels his chest clench back up. 

“I don’t know,” she starts, tapping her pen, “I mean they’re only kids. It feels like we would be pushing ideas into their heads, making them support something they can’t quite comprehend.” 

Alex’s head tips slightly to the side in confusion. He’s acting purposely innocent here, trying to get her to say her piece and then shut up. 

“Does this really have a place in a high school classroom?” She asks, looking around the table. 

The fire in Alex’s chest builds up, especially as he sees some parents nodding in agreement. 

“It just seems as if we’d be inviting violence into our school instead of preventing it,” she says innocently, smiling at Alex and Henry. It makes Alex feel like puking. 

“What reasoning do you have behind that statement?” Alex asks, voice shaking slightly. 

Henry’s foot taps his and doesn’t leave. 

“Well, as Loren here said, we have all these kids at higher risk of suicide and harassment, wouldn’t we only be instigating a higher rate by doing this? It feels like we are only inviting horrible things into our home.”

Alex feels as if his brain may short circuit. How could one person be so blind to the world around them, so  _ stupid _ ?

“I think we could create a different history class that could spread better messages and more peace and love.” She says again, still smiling as if the words she’s saying aren’t completely fucked up. “How about instead of spreading messages that kids don’t understand, aren’t ready for, we teach them about religion?”

“Oh, like a world religions class?” Alex asks, cutting her off and taking the topic far from where he knows she is taking it. “It could definitely be beneficial to do something like that too. So many people, especially in our country, who aren’t Christian suffer from daily harassment because of it. Teaching students about Islam and Judaism could help make them more compassionate to those communities as well. There are injustices in many aspects of our country, and it is vital we give our students the tools to stop them.” 

Richards scrunches her nose, and Alex knows she completely disagrees with what he is saying. 

“Well, not exactly what I was thinking.” She replies. “I just don’t think parents are going to be okay with us pushing these negative ideas on their children. I mean they are too young to  _ really _ know who they are yet. Wouldn’t we only be perpetuating hurt and harassment?”

“With all due respect,” Henry says from beside Alex, leaning forward but not removing his foot from Alex’s. It’s his anchor, his rock keeping him grounded through this. “By not including these programs we are perpetuating a system of harassment and apathy. Too many in the LGBT community feel they don’t belong, especially teens. They are young and they don’t understand  _ why _ they feel the way they do. Waiting well into adulthood won’t change the way they are. It will only lead to increased internalized homophobia, feelings of imposter syndrome, and other horrible habits or coping mechanisms.”

“If we can teach kids compassion in the face of differences, in the realization there is nothing  _ wrong _ with being different, the world could be a better place.” Alex continues for Henry, mirroring the way he is sitting, leaning forward with his hands clamped together. 

“I wholeheartedly agree,” Loren states. Several parents nod and murmur agreement. 

There are several still who are completely silent. Alex looks towards Jocelyn, remembering what Henry had said about her. How she tends to be bipartisan, quiet on issues until she sees the masses standing up. 

_ Is this enough people for you to speak up _ ? 

“Well, I don’t,” Richards says, “and I am not going to support you if you bring this to the board. Especially as the wife of the superintendent, I know this will only bring harm to our students. There is a reason he hasn’t allowed these things to happen in our schools, and I stand by him.”

She crosses her arms and then Alex processes what she’s said. He remembers, once again, another time when he has heard the name Richards. 

_ Henry’s classroom _ .

The morning Alex came storming in, determined to either punch or kiss him, there was a man.  _ Were they the same person? _

It would certainly make sense if they were. 

Which begs to pose another question;  _ why was the superintendent in Henry’s classroom _ ?

Alex looks at Henry, brows furrowing as he wonders how Henry feels about being in the same room as her, how they may already be coming for him because of who he  _ is _ . 

Alex turns back to the rest of the table and hears silence. 

“Well,” he stands up finally, deciding they’ve done their part, “we have said what we’ve come to say. Regardless of your thoughts, we will be taking this to the board,” Richards tsks and rolls her eyes, “and we are determined to bring these classes to this school next year.”

Alex walks out without a goodbye. He feels like he is vibrating and wants, needs, to direct his anger somewhere, anywhere, but he isn’t sure  _ how _ .

Henry gives polite goodbyes and comes out of the room, Alex moves onward. 

Alex stomps out to the parking lot, head buzzing and fists clenched. He can’t continue to remain in that building. 

“Alex,” he hears Henry say from behind him. “Alex, please slow down.” 

He stops moving suddenly and he feels Henry softly tap his arm. 

“Do you want to talk? We can go to my car?” Henry asks, pointing to his car parked next to Alex’s. 

Alex, instead of responding, walks to Henry’s car and pulls the door handle. The door, however, doesn’t budge. 

“Sorry, I need to,” Henry says, voice strained as he reaches into his pocket, Alex can hear his keys jingle as he pulls them out.

When Alex hears the beep of his car being unlocked he throws the door open and slams it behind him, immediately pulling his feet onto the seat and leaning forward with his head on the dash. 

Henry, always the calm one in the situation, gets in with much less fuss and turns the car so the battery is on, letting heat pour in. 

Silence envelopes them as Alex continues to sit there, mulling the meeting over. 

“Do you want-” Henry starts softly, but Alex jerks his head up and starts shouting. 

“I can’t believe that homophobic conservative ass motherfucker!” He hits the dash once. “I thought we were all fucking better than this. I thought we could get them all on our side. It was supposed to be the school board that was going to be the hard part, not this.” He says the last one quietly, pain filling his chest as he continues. 

“We have support from a part, at least,” Henry acknowledges. Alex feels his hand on his back, rubbing soft circles. 

“How can you remain positive?” Alex asks, sitting back and looking at Henry. 

“Well,” Henry sighs, leaning his head against the headrest, looking down at the middle console where his hand now rests. “Coming from a place where I felt like no one would support this, support who I am, I feel comfort in knowing there are at least some parents who feel passionately about this, and they’ll spread and grow.”

Alex bites his tongue, waiting for Henry to continue. 

“My family wasn’t always, er, great at the support bit,” Henry says quietly. “It’s part of why I left.”

Alex refrains from asking Henry why Texas. Why would he leave his homophobic family to come to the  _ south _ ? 

“My sister was always greatly supportive after I came out to her. My gran not so much and neither was my brother.” Henry sighs. “My mother is coming round, though. Not that she doesn’t support me, she just was out of the game for a while after my father passed. Wasn’t all the way there yet, but she’s here now at least.” 

Alex reaches a hand out to his, rubbing his fingers along his knuckles.

“My gran and I got into a row one night, and it was right after Pez said he was going to come here, and I thought maybe I needed to escape. Maybe a fresh place and a fresh attitude where I could just  _ exist _ without anyone attacking me or harassing me would be the ticket.” Henry chuckles, grabbing Alex’s hand more firmly, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss. “It’s probably the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done. But worth it.” 

Alex smiles, his hand feeling cool and warm all at once when Henry puts it back down. 

“So to have you, the ever passionate arguer who I don’t take losing as an option, on my side- to see parents agree with us and spread the message I-” a beat “I can’t help but have some hope that it’ll work itself out. That we can do this together.”

Henry looks up into Alex’s eyes and he feels like he could melt. Alex isn’t sure how to respond, so he reaches up and kisses Henry softly. 

Alex thinks for one fleeting moment that doing this, here in Henry’s fucking  _ Prius _ in the school parking lot, might be reckless and stupid. But feeling Henry’s soft hair in his grip, Henry’s hands running up and down his arms, their lips moving with care, make him not care who sees. 

They part, but Alex remains close. 

“Can we go back to your place? I think I’m done being here.” Alex asks softly. 

Henry nods, brushing his lips briefly against Alex’s. 

The car starts quietly and they leave. 

**____________**

Sunday dinner comes after Alex spends the week working to distract himself from everything. 

June has to pound on his door to pull him from his thoughts, from being too in his own head. Alex can see how concerned she is, but neither of them says a thing as they drive, without Nora this week, to their mother’s house. 

“Alex, I know the meeting-” June starts finally, quietly, as they walk to the door.

“Please, not now,” Alex replies, putting his key in the door and walking inside. 

The smell of bacon hits Alex.  _ Breakfast for dinner _ . 

When he walks into the kitchen he sees Leo at the stove, flipping pancakes, and his mother on the phone. She walks up and mouths  _ sorry _ , giving both he and June kisses on their cheeks before walking out of the room. 

“Need help?” He asks Leo, grabbing a bowl and the eggs before he gives a response. 

“Thanks,” he smiles, nudging Alex with his shoulder. “How are you both doing? It’s been radio silence for a while.”

“Just a busy time of year,” June responds, grabbing orange juice and champagne from the fridge. 

“‘M’alright,” Alex responds, cracking eggs into a bowl. 

He sees Leo give him a look from his periphery, but continues to look intently at the eggs as if they are the most interesting thing in the world.

“Okay, sorry loves,” Ellen says, walking back into the room. Her blonde hair is thrown up into a messy bun on her head, and she grabs a stack of plates to set the table. 

Alex hears Leo cough from beside him, and when he looks up Leo’s eyes obviously dart away from the top of his head. 

He glares for a moment before he feels a soft hand touch his arm. 

“Hey, I’ve got the eggs. Can you do the mimosas? I never make them right.” June says, smiling. 

It’s a setup, Alex knows it is. He doesn’t fight it though.

June is bad at making mimosas. 

“Hey,” Ellen says, putting forks out next to the plates, “how’s my favorite son doing?”

“I’m alright,” Alex says, opening the container of the orange juice. “What were you on the phone about?”

“Oh you know, just fun senator stuff. Going to have to make a trip back to D.C. on Wednesday.” She shrugs. “How’d your meeting go this week?”

Alex sighs. 

“You could probably guess,” Alex responds.

“I’d rather not,” Ellen sits down, pushing a chair out from next to her in an obvious gesture for him to sit. 

“Mom-”

“We are talking, babe,” she interrupts. “You’re sulking, and that’s unlike you so we are gonna talk about it.”

Alex groans but sits down. He then unloads his thoughts, how the parents responded. That the president sat with unwavering silence, which only seemed to disturb him more. 

That the loudest, most negative one, apparently is married to the superintendent. That he feels he may be doomed fighting a battle he never had a chance of winning. 

He forgets he doesn’t talk about Henry before their conversation in the car comes out. How Henry is still positive, despite everything he’s been through. 

Ellen puts a hand on his, listening patiently. 

When he stops she pulls him close and hugs him. 

“Hun, you’ll show those bastards,” she pulls back and looks into his eyes, “if anyone has fight it’s you.”

Alex chuckles.

“I mean, I’m going to go to the school board regardless. Fuck these people who think they are gonna stop me.”

Ellen pushes his shoulder.

“There’s my boy,” she laughs. “You’ve got support anyway. Sounds like some parents agree with you, and they’ll pull more in. And you’ve got Henry.”

Alex looks up and sees a weird look on her face as she says Henry.

“The two of y’all have gotten closer lately.” She says matter-of-factly. “I’m glad things have changed for you.”

“Yeah,” Alex replies. He looks into the kitchen and sees June give him a smile, and he takes a breath before continuing. “I’m actually, uh, seeing him, sorta.”

He trips over his words, but they’re true. Alex has been denying it, but he can’t anymore. Especially because the only person he’s seen outside of school for the past week has been Henry. 

Henry, who is waiting for a text from Alex when he leaves to go back home.

Henry, the man who believes that with Alex on their side, they’ve got nothing to lose. 

Alex smiles thinking about him. 

“You are?” Ellen asks, a hint of excitement in her voice. “That’s great!” 

She pulls him into a hug, and Alex feels relief wash over him. 

He knew, logically, that she’d support him. Her policies and the way she speaks is always supportive of the LGBT community.

But Alex recognizes that it’s different when it’s your own kid. 

“Yeah, uh, I guess I should tell you,” he coughs, pulling back, “I’m bisexual.”

She gives a big smile.

“Great, love. I’m so glad you feel comfortable telling me.” She squeezes his hand. 

June and Leo walk in, a bowl of eggs and plates of bacon and pancakes in their arms. 

“Ready to eat?” Leo asks, looking between them. 

“Oh fuck yeah,” Alex responds. Ellen lightly hits him on the shoulder. 

“Stop cussing,” she says, glaring slightly at him. 

June and Leo get situated and everyone loads their plates up before Ellen speaks again. 

“So, Alex,” she starts, cutting a bite of pancake out to eat, “when are you bringing Henry over for dinner?”

Alex groans as June cackles from across the table. 

Maybe he should have waited longer to tell his family. 

**____________**

**From:** [ **jensenfamily@gmail.com** ](mailto:jensenfamily@gmail.com)

**To:** [ **aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu** ](mailto:aclaremontdiaz@hamilton.edu) **,** [ **hfox@hamilton.edu** ](mailto:hfox@hamilton.edu)

**Subject: Meeting Thoughts**

Hello Mr. Claremont-Diaz and Mr. Fox,

I hope you had a relaxing weekend. I, and others, have been discussing last week’s meeting and our hopes for the future of our school.

We feel that what you both are trying to accomplish is going to be what our school needs to truly help our students, and what is going to help push our community forward into compassion and acceptance. 

Please know we are on your side, and we look forward to going to the school board, Jeffrey Richards, or anywhere else to help you accomplish this. 

-Loren and Clark Jensen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed :).
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments or on Tumblr! I love talking about all of this on either platform :).
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	19. The Support of Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex talks to Luna, interrupts Henry's class, and has deep conversations while rubbing David's belly.

After dinner, Alex- while in the car with June- reaches into his pocket and sees a text notification. 

He smiles, chest feeling warm and mood feeling lighter. 

Alex keeps telling himself that what’s happening isn’t a  _ thing _ ; it isn’t  _ serious _ .

But the way he feels now, the routine of spending time in bed with him every night isn’t just a  _ casual _ thing any more. 

His family wanting Henry to come to dinner isn’t casual. 

Telling his  _ mother _ they are seeing each other isn’t casual. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**At the store, getting ice cream.**

**Coffee HD?**

Coffee Häagen-Dazs ice cream, Alex’s favorite. 

Alex tries to ignore the way he feels at Henry knowing his favorite flavor.

He’s still in the car with June, he has to be calm. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**please**

**You’ll be saying that**

**again later.**

**👀 😏**

**don’t tempt me, Fox**

“Oh my God, stop flirting,” June says from beside him. 

Alex jumps, nearly dropping his phone. 

They’re pulling into the parking lot of their apartment complex, Alex can see his car, freshly cleaned and reflecting the light of the setting sun.

“I wasn’t-”

“You so were, you weirdo,” June states, pulling into her parking spot. “If Henry is getting food tell him to pick me up something too.”

“Why do you-”

“I know he’s coming over. Tell him I want Cherry Garcia BJs.” June puts the car in park, twisting her keys and pulling them out of the ignition. 

“That sounds pretty inappropriate- I’m not sure if you’re his type.”

“Shut up, Alex. You know what I mean.” She opens the car door and steps out, Alex laughing hysterically in the car. 

Alex continues to laugh, shoots Henry a text, and follows her into the apartment building. 

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Already grabbed it 😄.**

**you know June’s ice**

**cream choice?**

**Of course.**

**And Nora’s.**

**and what would that be?**

**Chunky Monkey when she**

**is happy. Half Baked when she**

**is moody or upset.**

**you are a wizard**

**I feel there is a wand joke here**

**somewhere…**

**I CHOKED**

**But I haven’t even arrived yet?**

**i-**

**get your ass up here Fox**

**Coming.**

**oh, you will be**

**____________**

The following day, Alex is at school getting ready when he sees Rafael Luna walking down the hall. 

He does a double-take, not registering what he saw.

“Hey!” He shouts, walking to his door. 

Luna stops and sighs, turning to him. 

“You didn’t respond to my texts,” Alex states, crossing his arms. 

He looks tired, impossibly so. 

“Sorry kid was out sick.” 

Being sick doesn’t prevent a person from texting, but Alex decides it’s not worth it. The dark circles and obvious bags under his eyes make him feel sympathy for Luna. It must have been a rough week.

“Can we talk? I need your help.” 

“Yeah. Do you have a first-hour class?”

“Not today,” Alex replies, leading Luna into his room. 

They take a couple of chairs from the desks to sit at. Luna brushes a hand through his hair. 

“It’s about what Henry and I are talking about with the PTA,” Alex begins, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“The class thing, yeah, I remember.”

“We were hoping you’d be willing to meet with the school board with us. They know you, you’ve been here a long time, we could really use your help.” 

A beat.

“Uh,” he says, shifting in his seat, “I’m not sure that would go well.” 

“What do you mean?” Alex asks. 

“I mean, I’m not sure my presence would give you the support y’all need.”

“Why is that?” Alex asks, already starting to get angry. 

Luna’s eyes are looking anywhere but at him, and Alex can’t help but wonder  _ why _ . He was enthusiastic about Alex’s want to start this class, so why back down now?

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand-”

“I swear to God if you call me a kid.” Alex interrupts. 

Luna sighs and stands up. 

“You two can handle this on your own, I have faith. You don’t need me to get this done.” 

“Stop being fucking cryptic!” Alex shouts. 

He realizes the door is open, and anyone could hear him, but he doesn’t care. This is too important. 

“Christ, kid, calm down.” 

“No, I don’t get it. Please explain to me since I’m apparently a child.”

Luna sighs again, looking pointedly at the ground. 

“Fine,” Alex huffs, walking past Luna. “Don’t worry we will get this all situated, we don’t need your help. Get fucked.” 

At that Alex walks out of his classroom, not realizing they were in  _ his _ room until he is down the hall. 

He sees Henry, standing in front of a class, and his anger subsides a little. 

Henry is wearing a navy cardigan over a light blue button-up, with a blue plaid bowtie. 

Alex from six months ago would have been infuriated at seeing Henry wear a bowtie. 

_ Who wears a bowtie to  _ teach  _ in _ ?

Henry George Fox, that’s who. 

Alex moves closer to the door, which Henry has wide open, to hear Henry reading with the class. 

It takes Alex a moment before he realizes they’re reading Romeo and Juliet. Some of the kids in the class are obviously theater kids; they’re half out of their seats as they speak their lines. 

Some, however, obviously do  _ not _ want to be doing what they are doing. 

Henry looks up from his page to see Alex and gives him a small smile and a nod to enter.

He moves, sitting on the table Henry is standing next to. Henry leans towards him so he can see the book. 

“Mr. Claremont-Diaz should read!” A kid says during a pause. 

“Yeah!” A few of the other kids chime in. 

“Oh, uh, no this will  _ not _ be good. I should probably-” Alex says, starting to shift off the table. 

Henry grabs his arm. 

“Just a few lines, I’ll say a few with you, alright?” Henry says, giving a smirk. 

Alex gulps and nods, shifting back to sit. 

A student hands Alex a copy of her book, and Alex finds the part.

“Okay, so you’ll be-”

“Romeo, obviously,” Alex smirks. A few students giggle. 

“Okay, well I’ll be Balthasar then,” Henry smiles in return. He moves to the back of the room, where a student seems to be texting. 

The kid straightens up in his presence, and Henry and Alex share a look. 

“You start us off,” Henry says. “Act 5.”

Alex clears his throat and begins.

“ If I can trust my dreams, then some joyful news is coming soon.” Alex starts, trying to put feeling into the words. “Love rules my heart, and all day long a strange feeling has been making me cheerful.” His heart skips a beat, and he wishes they were reading from a different scene. “I had a dream that my lady came and found me dead. It’s a strange dream that lets a dead man think! She came and brought me back to life by kissing my lips.” Alex feels his cheeks warm and he glances up at Henry, who is smiling down at his page. “I rose from the dead and was an emperor. Oh my! How sweet it would be to actually have the woman I love, when merely thinking about love makes me so happy.”

Alex looks up and sees the students intently watching. Across the room, Henry adjusts his cardigan slightly. 

His heart shouldn’t be jumping like this.

_ When merely thinking about love makes me so happy _ .

“The next bit is you too,” Henry says.

“Oh, yes, sorry,” Alex mutters, looking back down at the page.

“Do you have news from Verona!—What is it, Balthasar?” He says, looking up at Henry. “Do you bring me a letter from the friar? How is my wife? Is my father well? How is my Juliet? I ask that again because nothing can be wrong if she is well.” 

_ Nothing can be wrong if she is well _ .

Nothing is wrong when Henry is there, reading in his  _ stupid  _ British accent, which only seems to enhance the Shakespeare experience. 

With his  _ stupid _ khaki pants.

His  _ infuriating _ soft blonde hair. 

The way he reads flawlessly, walking around the room, the students all enraptured in the experience. 

He hears someone clear their throat, and he realizes Henry has finished his part. 

“Sorry, zoned out,” Alex laughs. A few kids giggle. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know, you only found out the woman you were just wistfully lusting for and loving has died.” 

“Oh-” Alex says, wide-eyed. He looks back down at the page but then hears the bell go off. 

Never before has the phrase  _ saved by the bell _ meant so much to him. 

“Alright?” Henry asks, walking around picking up books. 

“Uh, yeah,” Alex replies, setting his copy down. “Talked to Luna.”

“Did it not go well?”

“No, it didn’t,” Alex mutters. 

The anger starts to flare up again as he remembers his frustrations.

“Do you have a class? We could talk?” Henry asks, moving to erase the board. 

It’s then Alex realizes that he  _ does _ have a class. 

“Wait, shit, yeah I need to go,” Alex says, jumping off the table. “Talk later?”

Henry nods and Alex darts out of the room. 

**____________**

By the time Alex gets to Henry’s, he is upset again. 

He walked by Luna in the hall, and his fists clenched in response. 

Luna, of course, ignored him. Which, fine. Alex was going to ignore Luna as well, but where does  _ he _ get off ignoring him instead?

Alex was supposed to be the one doing the ignoring, not the other way around. 

“You’re seething,” Henry observes, sitting next to him on the couch. 

Alex huffs in response, scratching behind David’s ears. 

“What happened?”

“Well, I asked him to help us with everything. I didn’t think it would be a thing, but,” a pause, “apparently it is.”

“He said no?”

“He evaded, said we ‘didn’t need his help’ and that I ‘wouldn’t understand’.” 

Henry nods, reaching over to scratch under David’s chin. 

Alex moves his hand to David’s stomach, scratching the spot he knows David loves.

Alex calms slightly when Henry chuckles at David thumping his leg in happiness. 

“It’s just fucking bullshit,” he continues. “First of all, if he would explain  _ why _ then maybe I could understand. I’m not a moron. I  _ understand _ shit.”

He takes his hand off David, only to be given a look by the dog. 

“I thought I could count on him. He’s always been supportive of this,” Alex takes a breath, “and of me.” 

Henry takes his hand off David too, leaning his arm against the couch. 

David jumps off and shakes, sulking off down the hall. 

“I’ve always looked up to him,” Alex says softly. “He’s pushed kids, pushed me, into being better. I wanted to take all these wild ideas he gave me in high school and fight for things in the real world.” 

Alex leans his head back and closes his eyes. 

“To learn that the same guy who taught us to fight for our rights and for those who are pushed into silence, is just,” a sigh, “bowing out of this one doesn’t sit well with me.” 

He stops talking, letting the room fall into silence. The couch shifts and he feels a hand on his jaw, in his hair, a kiss on his neck. 

“The actions of another person doesn’t define who you are,” he says quietly. “I’m not sure if anyone could take the fight from you.”

Alex chuckles, shifting slightly to face Henry. David patters back into the room and puts his nose on the edge of the couch. 

“You’re still supported,” Henry continues, patting the part on the couch next to him. David jumps up and curls behind him. “I believe in you, and in us. We can do this without him.”

Alex smiles and reaches up to kiss Henry. There’s a huff behind him and they turn to see David with one eye open watching the two of them. 

“So sorry David,” Henry chuckles, “we are such an inconvenience to you.” 

He stands up and grabs a scoop of dog food, making David perk up and run to him. 

When Henry returns he holds a hand out, pulling Alex off the couch and into his arms. 

“There are a lot of things bad in this world,” Henry says, squeezing him closer, “but you are good. We can do this. If anyone can single-handedly take down a bunch of parents with too much time on their hands, and a school board with outdated ideals, it’s you.”

He kisses Alex long and slow, and Alex sinks into it, slowly following him back to the bedroom. 

It could be a mixture between his confession with Ellen the day before, or the moment over Shakespeare during Henry’s class, but this time feels different. 

As Alex takes Henry’s clothes off, he notices more. Not just how he has a couple of moles, or freckles on his shoulders from the sun, but also how if he keeps his hand on Henry’s chest, he can feel his heart beating through the process. 

How it races as things get more heated, how strong and alive it is, how  _ Henry _ is strong, and he sees Alex as a good force. A force that can take whatever comes his way, just because of who he is. 

As Henry moves to be above Alex, he moves his hand to his heart, letting Henry feel it there. 

When Henry kisses him, he feels his heart beat harder. 

Henry keeps his hand there too, following Alex’s lead. 

And Alex feels like he is falling into a bottomless pit. Not in a scary way, in a way that makes him feel that the world is endless, where his head feels light and he can’t help but smile. 

It’s as if he’s drunk. 

Even as they lie in bed, tangled together and Alex with his head on Henry’s chest, he feels it. 

He doesn’t have a word for it yet, it doesn’t need one immediately, but he enjoys it, whatever it is. 

Because it’s Henry, it’s soft sheets and winter-themed candles lit even when it’s February, a warm cup of herbal tea shoved into Alex’s hand instead of another cup of coffee. 

It’s warm, soft, quiet, and lovely. 

And Alex wonders why he ever thought he could let this  _ only  _ be sex. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to chat below or w/me on Tumblr :D.
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](http://tumblr.com/caitybuglove23)


	20. Pieces Starting to Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters, dinner, and a brief discussion with Zahra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know there is a lockdown drill in this chapter, with some slight worrying from Alex. If you'd like to skip it then stop after Alex writes Henry a letter, and begin again when he gets a text from Henry. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**question**

**Yes?**

**what do you have as my**

**name in your phone?**

**Uh, your name?**

**boring**

**What else would it be?**

**idk**

**‘best shag of my life’**

**‘largest prick i’ve ever seen’**

**You do think highly of**

**yourself, don’t you?**

**are you saying i’m wrong?**

**No. You are a prick.**

**😱**

**i’m hurt, fox**

**Don’t you have class right now?**

**Why are you texting?**

**they’re taking a test and**

**i’m texting you from my computer**

**You’re a heathen, Alex.**

**thanks!**

**What is my name in your phone?**

**guess**

**Bloke with a sexy accent?**

**nope**

**Best shag of my life?**

**HAH**

**You weren’t laughing last night…**

**i am with CHILDREN**

**Put me out of my misery.**

**What is my name in your phone?**

******I am sure it is appalling and something**

**I’ll need to atone for if I ever step foot in**

**a church again.**

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Really?**

**Tame, frankly.**

**Expected worse from you.**

**sorry to disappoint you**

**i guess I’ve gotten soft in my old age**

**but maybe tonight I won’t be so soft…**

**Alex. You’re with children.**

Alex snorts, making a few students look up in confusion. He knows he shouldn’t be texting Henry, but he can’t help it. 

Between the meetings with parents, avoiding Rafael Luna in the hall, and an email from Georgetown about financial aid and schedule, Henry is the one thing keeping him afloat.

It’s all very soft and lovely. Nights are filled with joint grading sessions and delivered Chinese food. Some mornings are filled with Alex waking up before Henry, watching the way the light trickles into his window and hits Henry’s hair and shoulders. 

Alex pulls out a slip of paper and writes a note.

**H,**

**I hope you’re having a good day and that your second hour didn’t bomb their essay (I know you were worried).**

**I can’t stop thinking about how you managed to get all the answers right in jeopardy last night.**

**_Alex, I’ll take Henry Fox for 200, please._ **

**Anyway…**

**We are texting right now, but this felt like something I needed to write down. I know you like things written (you’re such an English teacher).**

**My family wants you to come to dinner Sunday. Come? Please? They’ll only torture you a small amount. It’s me that has to be worried.**

**But if I have to sit through another dinner with my mother asking when you’re coming over, I may gouge my eyes out.**

**As much as I may want to avoid it, it’s inevitable. You know June’s Whataburger order, how I like my coffee, and you’ve seen my dick… I guess meeting the parents isn’t too far of a reach.**

**I thought about looking up some fuddy-duddy quote from a historian to please you and tell you that I can’t wait to watch you eat barbecue tonight, but I heard a rather lovely thing out of Robert McCarthy’s mouth in study hall this morning, so I will leave you at that, instead.**

**\- A**

_ “All I really want is for someone to make me feel the same way I feel when I see fajitas in a Mexican restaurant. Is that too much to ask?”  _

_ \- Robert McCarthy, 2nd-hour study hall.  _

Alex smiles and looks up, wondering if he can trust any of the students to pass the note along. 

“Hey, Sam?” He whispers. Sam looks up from his paper and raises an eyebrow. “Can you give something to Mr. Fox for me? He doesn’t need to respond, I just need to let him know something.”

Sam nods and stands up, grabbing the note (which Alex taped close) and walking out of the room. 

When Sam returns and sits down, the sound of the intercom goes on.

“Lockdown, this is a lockdown,” he hears the secretary say. 

His heart rate rises as he stands up to go lock the door.  _ A lockdown? _

It takes him a few moments to remember an email sent out last week.

_ It’s a drill _ .

The kids, however, don’t know this. They’ve all stood up and gone to the designated corner of the room. 

He had to have a discussion with them during their first class together to give everyone the expectation and where they would go when this happens. It was a painful conversation, leading to lots of “what if” questions that Alex never wants to discuss again. 

Alex puts the poster he has that says  _ ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’  _ over the window on the door and moves to be with the students. 

He takes a deep breath, ready to calm them, only to see how little any of them are reacting. 

A few students, without his instruction, have taken their test with them. They have their pencils in their hands, writing on clipboards found in the back. 

Alex frowns. 

He sees several more who have books out, reading calmly. 

They’re all acting like this is  _ normal _ . 

It absolutely breaks Alex’s heart. 

This must be normal to them. They’re seniors, they’ve been through these drills their whole  _ lives _ . 

The door handle jiggles and Alex jumps, worried someone might be trying to get in.

_ It’s just a drill, it’s just a drill, _ he repeats in his head.

When he looks back at the students, they’re looking up at him like he’s crazy. Like it’s  _ him _ who is reacting to the situation weirdly.

It’s several more minutes, two turned in tests, and one student sneaking a Snapchat before Alex hears the intercom turn on again.

“All clear,” she says. 

Alex lets out a long exhale and moves to turn the lights on and remove his poster from the window.

The students move back to their seats, acting like everything is okay.

It rattles Alex’s bones. 

“Can I go to the bathroom?” A student asks. Alex nods, still entranced by the way his students are acting so  _ calm _ about the situation. 

The bell dings in another five minutes and the students grab their stuff, filing out of his room.

**Pompous Ass 💩**

**Are you alright?**

**I know this stuff is nerve-wracking.**

**i’m fine**

_ It’s not fine _ .

“Hey there,” Nora says, walking into Alex’s room. “Did you have a class during the drill? I didn’t. I got to just sit in the dark. It was fucking baller.”

“Yeah, I had a class,” Alex says, putting his phone down. “It was weird.”

“Did you have Jacob Hart? He’s the fucking  _ worst _ during any drill. I swear,” she moves to sit on top of a desk. 

“What? No, it was just eerie. I’m not used to it,” Alex shrugs. “They acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.”

Nora opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by June's quick entrance into the room. 

“God, Jacob H is with Zahra now after trying to run out of the room during the drill to say ‘ _ take me now’ _ ,” June says, taking a seat next to Nora while opening a Snickers bar.

Alex blinks. _What?_

“Wait, we have full-sized candy bars in this school?” Nora asks, trying to snatch it away from June. 

“If you're in administration, yes,” she smirks, taking a bite. “I also bought it. There’s a Milky Way in the drawer for you.”

Nora let’s out a small  _ yes _ and smiles. 

“Also,” Nora turns back to Alex, “I told you. He’s the worst. He thinks he is being funny, but he needs to read the room. His classmates just ignore him at this point.”

Alex winces. 

“Are we having a party?” Pez says from the doorway. 

Alex waves him in and he takes a chair and sits next to Alex’s desk. 

“Do we all have a plan right now?” Alex asks. 

“Yup,” Nora responds, sneaking a bite of June’s candy bar. 

June frowns and snatches it back.

“Somehow I gave all the trouble makers the same schedule,” June moans. “Thank God Henry doesn’t have his right now.”

They continue to joke around. Nora manages to eat at least half of June’s Snickers, Alex tries to make a paper airplane fly into the recycling bin, and Pez steals at least six of Alex’s mints. 

When the final bell rings and the students have all walked out of the halls, Henry appears. 

“This can’t be good,” Henry says, smiling. 

“Hey,” Alex says, watching as Henry moves to sit next to Nora and June. 

They fall into easy conversation, and Alex feels nothing but soft at this moment. Pez brings up a story from their uni days when Henry got too drunk and waxed poetic at a horse.

“She was a gorgeous steed,” Henry replies, cheeks tinted pink, “I stand by that.”

“It was a statue, love,” Pez replies, choking on laughter. 

Alex snorts. 

“Ugh, okay, well I need to be going,” June states, hopping off the desk. “I’ll see you all later.”

The rest follow her out of the room, Henry pausing for a moment at Alex’s desk.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Nah,” Alex dismisses. He doesn’t. It’s a harsh reality, doing these drills, the possibility of what might happen, but he can’t continue to dwell on it constantly. 

Henry nods slightly before reaching into his pocket. 

“Here,” he says, placing it in Alex’s hand. “I’ll see you in 10? I need to clean up some things.”

Alex nods and opens the folded paper in his hands after Henry walks away. 

**Alex,**

**You don’t think I’d be worth more in jeopardy? I’m hurt.**

**I would love to come round your parents on Sunday. What should I be prepared for? I can only hope there will be baby pictures. A lacrosse trophy perhaps? Should I bring a goat as a dowry? I need to make sure this courtship is going through the proper phases.**

**As for Robert, he is wise beyond his years. If only he could figure out how to turn in his assignments as well.**

**I’m writing this as the drill is happening, hoping that you are alright. I’m unsure if this would help, but the fact we _need_ this drill hurts still in ways I cannot explain, even years after I began teaching. **

**\- Henry**

_“I have a funny feeling in my stomach. I can’t tell if it’s because Darren just texted me back, or because I had a beef and bean burrito for lunch.”_

_\- Allison, 6th hour_

Alex laughs and folds the letter back up, slipping it into the top drawer of his desk, and packs his things up. 

____________

“You don’t have to do this,” Alex tells Henry as they walk to the front door.

Alex decided to grab Henry from his place without June in order to give him some time to prepare. Henry seems fairly calm, but Alex knows his family. They can be, well, a  _ lot _ .

“I want to,” Henry says, smiling over to Alex. 

Alex takes a deep breath before grabbing the handle.

_ He shouldn’t be so nervous _ .

The hellos begin almost as soon as they walk in and take their shoes off.

Ellen comes up and greets Henry, telling him how much they’ve heard and how excited she is to finally meet him.

Henry, the ass that he is, looks over at Alex with a smirk. 

_ Talked a lot about me, huh? _ It says.

“Hello Mrs. Claremont,” he greets. “It’s wonderful meeting you as well.”

They fall into an easy step in the usual pre-dinner chaos. Alex takes up making garlic bread for the pasta, Henry sits at the table with Leo, discussing an article from the New York Times on Apple’s possible break from Intel. 

“Didn’t know he knew so much about technology,” Ellen whispers in Alex’s ear. 

“Me either,” Alex responds, raising an eyebrow and looking at Henry. He gives a sly smile. “It’s more than likely a side effect of him just enjoying reading.”

She lets out a laugh, grabbing plates and walking back to the dining room. June puts together dishes with the meatballs, sauce, and pasta. 

“Hey Henry,” she says when she walks in. “Has Alex told you about his fear of turkeys?”

“June I swear-” Alex shouts, almost burning his hand on the oven.

“No, do tell,” Henry interrupts, leaning forward and smirking at Alex.

_ He’s enjoying this too much _ .

“Okay, so when we were little,” June continues, telling him about the petting zoo incident. 

Alex groans and grabs the bread, accepting his fate. It was always going to be this, but despite how much he’d rather not allow it, to let  _ this _ happen, he’s grateful. It feels nice to have Henry at the table, scooping out pasta and drinking sangria. 

Somehow Henry fits into all the different facets of Alex’s life despite hardly trying. 

____________

“Alex,” Zahra says, walking into his room the next day. “I wanted to talk.”

Alex, sitting up straight, turns to Zahra. 

“About your letter of intent,” she continues, “you said you were unsure.”

Alex takes a deep breath.

“Yes,” he responds. “I’m talking to Georgetown about returning in the fall. If I do, then, well, I can’t come back here.”

She nods. Her arms are crossed and her face stoic. Zahra doesn’t often show a ton of emotion. She’s the definition of cool, calm, and collected unless she gets angry. That’s the only definite emotion of hers that Alex has pinned down. 

“I’m still deciding, but I’ll hopefully have a decision soon.” He says, hoping to quell any anger she may have at his indecisiveness. 

“Be quick,” she says instead, straightening up. “I need to know if I should hire a new history teacher.” 

And like that she leaves his classroom. The soft  _ clicks _ of her shoes echo in his room as she walks back down the hall.

It’s short and to the point, but it wasn’t going to be anything else with Zahra. 

Now there’s pressure to decide. No more telling himself that it can wait.

Alex needs to decide if he’s going to stay or go.

_ What is Henry going to think? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you decided to skip that part then here is a snippet for you:  
> \- There is a lockdown drill, Alex is shocked by how normal the kids are acting. He's upset and jumpy during it, despite knowing it's a drill and not an actual shooter. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! I hope you are all doing well. Feel free to check me out on Tumblr! I love hearing what y'all have to say :).
> 
> [Caitybuglove23](https://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	21. A Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry's birthday floggings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to [Salt](http://tumblr.com/blog/saltfics) for helping me make this chapter readable haha. Check out her [fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltandburnit/pseuds/saltandburnit) too bc they are some of my favorites :).

“Okay, so who all is coming?” Alex asks Pez as they walk down the hall. 

It’s Henry’s birthday tomorrow, and Pez has been secretly planning the whole thing. 

“You and I, of course,” Pez winks, “I have to include Henry’s beautiful paramour.” 

Alex rolls his eyes. 

“June and Nora are also coming,” he counts on his fingers. “Then Bea.”

Alex winces. He’s not talked to Bea yet. The only interaction he’s had with her has been the New Year’s Eve Instagram post. 

“Not excited to meet the relatives, are we?” Pez asks, stopping outside of Alex’s classroom. 

“Plenty excited, I just--” a long exhale. 

_ How can he say he is nervous without making it seem like a big deal? _

“Bea isn’t terrifying, so don’t fret,” Pez says, knowing where Alex’s mind is going. “If anything she’ll use you to torment Henry. Lord knows he needs it.”

Alex lets out a puff of air in laughter. 

“Did you reach out to his brother?” Alex asks. 

Not that Henry and Phillip are close, but Alex always hopes something might change for them. 

No matter how many times Henry says otherwise, Alex can tell he wishes things were different, that Phillip would get his head out of his ass.

He can’t help but wonder what Phillip might think of him. Would he hate him on sight because he is a boy? Or would he hate him for another, completely valid reason?

“Pip?” Pez asks. “Christ no. I want Henry’s birthday to be fun. If we brought Phillip to town Austin would certainly dim. He’d talk everyone’s ear off about return on investments in the toilet paper industry, or discuss the value of black socks in any proper bloke’s wardrobe.”

Alex looks down at his feet, thinking of his socks that are adorned with tiny sriracha bottles. They’re mainly black, so that counts, right? 

“Not plotting birthday festivities are we, Pez?” Henry asks from behind Alex.

“Never,” Pez replies innocently. Henry gives a knowing look while walking into Alex’s classroom, squeezing his arm gently as he passes.

Pez winks and walks down the hallway.

“Okay, so I’m going to leave and pick my sister up, and then we will see each other later tonight,” Henry rattles off, going through the plans out loud. “Is that alright with you?”

“Of course,” Alex replies, smiling up at him. “I have a quick thing after school, but I should be alright for getting dinner with the two of you.” 

Henry smiles and gives Alex a look. It’s soft, clearly saying  _ if we were anywhere but school right now, I’d be kissing you senseless _ . 

Alex is tempted to do it anyway. 

____________

When Alex shows up at Henry’s apartment the next day, he’s ready to drag him along if needed. 

“Hello,” Bea says, answering the door with a smirk. “Come in, the prince is getting dressed.”

Alex laughs and walks in, taking in the apartment. 

Bea’s presence has already had an effect on it. There is a leather jacket draped off the back of a chair, three different pairs of shoes by the door that are most certainly  _ not _ his, and a coffee cup on the counter with a bit of lipstick on the rim. 

It’s nice, Alex thinks, to see sibling dynamics like this. June and Alex have always been fairly close. When they go to each other’s apartments it’s like a second home.

It seems Bea is the same way. It makes Alex feel soft, knowing how comfortable he is with her, how Henry loves his sister in even the small ways. 

“Beatrice, have you seen my-” Henry starts, walking around the corner. “Oh! Alex, hi.”

He smiles and walks to Alex, giving him a soft kiss.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Alex says quietly. 

“I’ll assume that you are my kidnapper for the evening,” Henry smirks, adjusting his sleeves. 

Alex takes a step back and shrugs.

“Whatever could you be talking about?” He asks, innocently. “I’m merely just here to say happy birthday and to maybe persuade you to dinner.”

Henry laughs in response rolling his eyes.

“I’ve talked to Pez, I know what’s happening, so no need to keep your cover. It’s fine, I’ve succumbed to the birthday floggings.” Henry grabs his keys and looks to Bea.

She’s wearing black jeans with yellow vans, a long-sleeved white shirt that has a black stripe across her chest, with a bit of yellow around her torso. 

Henry, however, has gone for softer colors. He’s got charcoal grey pants and a mauve long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves pushed to his elbows. 

It’s casual but still has the posh air that Henry always has.

It’s also completely hot.

“I’m ready, are you?” Bea asks, pushing a bit of her light brown hair behind her ear.

Henry nods and takes Alex’s hand.

“Happy birthday to me, I guess,” he says.

They walk out the door, not entirely knowing where they may end up. 

______________

Alex isn’t sure what he expected from Pez, but where they end up after dinner certainly isn’t it. 

“Topgolf?” He whispers to Henry. “Didn’t take you for the golfing type.”

Henry chuckles.

“I did it when we first got here. I thought it couldn’t be too different from croquet, and I’ve always been fairly good with my hands.” He gives Alex a wink.

Alex tries not to react to that.

“Did you give it up after you realized only old straight white republicans play?” 

“That was an unfortunate realization. They all seemed to think I was  _ like _ them. Nasty shock for them when they found out their favorite Brit golfer was gay. Didn’t even make it to the third hole when they found out and suddenly had to go help their  _ wives _ with something.”

Alex blinks.

“Damn, H, I’m-” he takes a pause as they sign in to their party. “I’m so sorry.”

Henry shrugs.

It still seems too casual for him. Henry the Brit, shrugging in response. It’ll always contradict his posh exterior. 

“It’s no big deal, I left Britain to get away from my homophobic family, I’m not about to surround myself with others right off the bat.”

Alex looks up at him and smiles. 

Henry is the calm and cool one between them. But in moments when he shows his self-assuredness, his confidence, Alex sees more into his life. The struggles, how he overcame them, how he’s grown into the man he is today. 

It’s also fucking hot. But Alex probably shouldn’t be thinking about the way Henry’s ass looks when he shimmies it to get in position for his first hit. Or the way his forearms look, with the sleeves of his shirt pushed up.

He definitely shouldn’t be thinking about the way Henry licks his lips in concentration. 

June and Nora are sharing one couch, laughing, and splitting a pitcher of sangria, interrupting Alex’s watch of Henry. They’re shouting about the time Alex thought Henry was kissing Bea. Bea is smirking at Alex, obviously having already heard the story. 

Pez puts down his vodka soda to take his turn, and Alex looks back up at Henry, wishing he hadn’t missed his swing. 

_There are other turns at least._

Bea picks up her lemonade and laughs at the way Pez is pointing his club towards the grass as if he is aiming to shoot. 

Alex lifts his beer to his lips and gives Henry a small smile. 

“Do I need to explain this to you?” Henry asks, moving to stand next to Pez. 

Pez moves and gestures for Henry to show him how to play, much like a butler would gesture to a member of royalty.

Henry does a sort of bow and takes the club.

Alex watches, intrigued, as Henry explains to Pez the stance he needs to take. How his elbows shouldn’t bend. The way Henry spreads his legs apart makes heat rise to his face (not  _ just _ his face, mind you).

He’s trying to listen to Henry’s voice, but everyone around them is too loud and he can’t quite hear. 

Alex watches as Henry swings the club and the ball flies into the distance.

He doesn’t let his eyes follow it to where it lands. The way Henry hands Pez the club again and looks over at Alex makes him feel entranced.

“How’d you get so good?” He asks when Henry comes to sit next to him.

“Told you,” Henry says, grabbing his drink, “I took it up when I came here. Thought it’d be a good way to get out and meet people.”

Alex laughs.

“It also helped that the very straight, very conservative men at the club were extremely taken aback when some British gay man showed them all up at every turn,” Henry winks.

That makes Alex laugh even harder, pulling Henry close to him.

They don’t typically get so handsy in public, not when someone from school could see. But Alex can’t help it.

He’s  _ happy _ , and Henry is here, tipsy and silly, and still managing to show them all up at golf.

Alex isn’t too mad about it. He’s never minded watching someone be so  _ good _ at something.

He wants to take Henry to bed, or a golf course, either way maybe he could make a  _ hole in one _ joke. 

When their time in the bay is up, they pack up and leave. Bea ushers them to one area, June carries Nora on her back, laughing and giggling about something Alex missed. Pez wraps an arm around Henry and another around Alex, pulling them in tight, talking about how they’ll need to do a  _ duet _ .

“Why is Pez talking about a duet?” Alex whispers to Henry as they pile into the car.

Bea gets behind the wheel, Nora shouts about getting Taco Bell, June shushes her and Pez plugs his phone into the aux cord.

“You don’t already know?” Henry asks, giving Alex a suspicious look. “I guess it’s you who is going to be surprised tonight then.”

He leans over and kisses Alex, who leans into the touch, letting it deepen.

They don’t have to be afraid in the car. Parents won’t see the way Alex’s hand slips under Henry’s shirt, hear the way Henry’s breath quickens when he moves it across his stomach.

“Cut it out, horndogs!” June shouts, smacking the back of Alex’s head. 

_ Okay, maybe the people in the car care a little bit.  _

They get out and Alex realizes what’s going to happen.

_ Karaoke _

“Oh,” he says, feeling a bit dumb. 

That’s why Pez mentioned a duet. 

“Yes, oh,” Henry whispers in Alex’s ear.

It makes the hair on his neck stand on edge. The way his British accent wraps around the vowel, his breath against his ear, and the soft and sure touch he has on his arm.

It’s enough to drive Alex crazy. 

They get into the bar and check in, moving to a room. 

The sound of the outside world muffles as they all clamber to a seat, trying to figure out what to order. 

Shots are brought almost instantly (Pez’s doing, Alex is sure), and Henry immediately shivers after the first.

“God, what  _ was _ that?” He asks.

“Tequila,” Pez says, smirking.

Alex looks between them in amusement, trying to figure out the joke. Bea laughs loudly. Henry groans. 

“Tequila really does Henry in,” Bea whispers, putting her mouth closer to Alex’s ear. “You’re in for a treat.”

Alex laughs and orders another round. Henry groans again. 

June and Nora start the songs off, doing a duet of a High School Musical song. Alex grabs the tambourine and starts hitting it on his thigh.

Everyone is laughing and messing around with each other. Alex can’t keep his eyes off Henry, though. He’s pink on the tops of his ears and cheeks, a smile always on his lips. He runs his hand through his hair and looks at Alex.

Alex thinks again about how Henry was at golf. His posture, his ass, his confidence. 

Alex was always into confidence.

“Sing a song with me?” He asks, grabbing Henry’s hand.

Pez whoops and Bea watches with curiosity. 

Henry groans but follows, albeit hesitantly. 

“What song?” Alex asks, looking at his phone for the list to queue up. 

Henry taps his phone and chooses one, taking a microphone from Nora. 

The song starts and Alex sings, looking at Henry, waiting for him to join in. 

Alex isn’t the  _ best _ singer by any means, but he’s not the worst. He’s never heard Henry though. 

Henry raises the microphone and starts to join in. His British accent shines through. Alex remembers hearing once that accents don’t shine in singing, but Henry’s does. They get louder, dancing, Bea laughs and pulls out her phone to take a video, June and Nora stand up on their seats and start dancing along, Pez banging on the tambourine. 

Alex can’t help but smile and laugh as they dance together, drunk and silly without a care in the world. 

Nights like this mean he doesn’t have to remember anything else going on.

That they usually are  _ careful _ in public.

They’re in a private room, with their family and friends.

Alex leans over and kisses Henry, stupid and messy. Sometimes Alex feels older. As if he isn’t just a kid in his 20s. 

Tonight is different. Alex doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders, the weight of a school, of decisions, of a relationship and his feelings that may or may not be growing. 

Tonight he gets Henry to smile, gets to be loud and silly and goofy. He gets to kiss and be kissed.

He gets to be pulled into a bathroom stall and shown how attractive he is. How hot Alex finds it when he gets into his confidence. 

They get to be stupid and do things against a stall door with phone numbers written in sharpie, drunk, and in…

Alex kisses Henry again before they leave the bathroom. A word at the back of his throat, stuck on his vocal cords. 

A word he hadn’t let enter his brain before.

A word that only can happen when his guard is let down, when he isn’t thinking too much about it, when he sees Henry’s smile and the way his hair is just a little messy, the fluorescent lights hitting off the top of his hair. 

They walk back and Alex lets the word envelop him completely. 

They dance and get late-night greasy food.

They go back to Henry’s apartment and continue what they started in the bar bathroom. 

Alex’s chest feels warm, his heart full, his body relaxed and comfortable.

He watches Henry’s chest rise and fall, slowly inhaling and exhaling.

An inhale.

A twitch of his nose.

A shift in the bed, moving closer to Alex.

Alex closes his eyes, letting the word continue to fester inside of him, enveloping his being as he pulls Henry closer.

When he wakes up in the morning, it’s still there.

Sober he still feels it.

A smile in the mirror as they brush their teeth.

Coffee being made.

Nothing on but boxers.

It feels like a haze. Alex doesn’t know how to combat it, how to fight it off. When did this happen? When did he get here?

Was it the day they fought in his classroom?

When they kissed on Christmas?

When Alex accosted Henry in his classroom?

Was it in the middle of the night as Alex slept, unknowingly tying himself more and more to this person?

To this man with blond hair, a British accent, and enough cardigans to rival a librarian. 

Alex leaves to go home thinking, wondering, contemplating. 

_ When did he fall in love? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23) :)


	22. The Importance of Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex starts to come to grips with his feelings for Henry (wonders if they are reciprocated). They meet over coffee with a family and schedule a meeting with the school board. 
> 
> Alex's birthday (:.

Alex sits in his apartment, thinking about what’s hit him over the head. 

_ In love _ . 

“ _ Up next, the weather with Erika Lopez,” _ he hears softly from the television. 

It’s raining outside, chilling the air and adding to the trouble in Alex’s brain. 

Thunder rolls loudly outside. 

A flash of lightning. 

A commercial comes on trying to sell Alex a lawnmower. 

Alex wonders, briefly, if Henry has ever mowed a lawn. Did he live in the city growing up? Would he have needed to?

Would he hire someone else to do it? 

Alex can see him, wearing a white shirt, khaki shorts, shoes that he saves specifically for the job. They’re stained green. He has earbuds (AirPods. Alex has seen them and was completely unsurprised by the discovery.) Henry would be nodding his head up and down as he tries to create perfectly diagonal lines on the front lawn. A pair of Ray-Bans rest naturally on his face. 

Alex thinks this is why he can’t already know; he can’t claim to be in love. He doesn’t know all of the inner workings of Henry yet. 

_ What are the deepest parts of your head? _

Alex could probably answer that.

He  _ knows _ .

Even without Henry telling him, he knows and understands there are parts to him he might not ever understand.

His father.

Him leaving his family.

Things he hasn’t even told him about yet. 

But he should know more, right? Like what his favorite pasta is, how he does laundry (does he leave his clothes in the basket to sit? Does he fold them right away?), or what his favorite kind of soup is.

He feels his phone vibrate. 

_ Henry _ . 

“What’s your favorite kind of soup?” Alex asks immediately when he picks up the phone. 

“Hello to you too,” Henry laughs, “can I ask why the urgency? Planning to make some?”

Alex frowns. 

“I mean, maybe?” Alex says. What if Henry gets sick? He should bring him soup. But he’d need to know what he likes first.

“Well, I’d say it depends,” Henry mulls over. “I’ve enjoyed tortilla soup while in the states, but when I’m sick I tend to want a vegetable and bean soup. I’m never mad at tomato soup, however.”

Alex’s chest feels less tight. 

“Glad to know you like more than chicken noodle soup from the can,” Alex jokes. 

Somehow the conversation transitions to breakfast foods.

Alex chimes in a few times, talking about the tastelessness of the English breakfast. 

“You eat breakfast tacos constantly,” Henry exclaims.

“Yes, because those are good, and have taste,” Alex argues back. 

He wins the battle against breakfast tacos by taking Henry out. 

And he thinks...

Maybe he knows him enough after all. 

**______________**

A week later they are sitting at a coffee shop, waiting to meet with Loren and Clark. 

“Do you think they’ve gotten anyone else to help out?” Alex asks Henry. 

“I’m sure so,” he replies, taking a sip of his coffee. 

Alex focuses on his own cup, pondering how this might conclude when he sees them walk in. 

They order coffee, giving them a smile and a wave from the counter. 

Alex’s heart is beating weirdly. 

“It’s alright,” Henry whispers, tapping his foot to Alex’s. “They’re on our side.”

Alex takes a deep breath. 

He knows Henry is right.

(Of course he is, the ass.)

But it’s hard to not be anxious about it. 

“Hello,” Loren says, taking the seat from across them. 

Clark, her husband, takes a seat next to her and exchanges pleasantries. 

Alex wonders if this is how all meetings where people are trying to make change go. They have to spend at least the first five minutes asking about dogs, children, talk about the weather. 

Alex just wants to get to it. 

“Okay,” he says, slightly interrupting a tangent Henry is on about proper tea to milk ratios. “So, what are we thinking here?”

Loren and Clark share a look before she digs something out of her bag. 

“We’ve collected some signatures of parents in the district, specifically parents from the school, or with kids at schools who feed into ours.” She places the papers in front of Alex. 

His eyes go wide as he sees the number of signatures on the page. 

“How-” Alex starts, closing his mouth immediately after.

He passes it to Henry, whose eyes are as wide as his own must be. 

“We are hoping it is enough and that if we bring it to the school board they can’t ignore it,” Loren says, looking between the two of them. “We were hoping you both could get the teaching staff to sign as well.”

“Yes, of course,” Alex replies enthusiastically. “I don’t know anyone on staff who wouldn’t support it. I’m sure Zahra would sign too.” 

He looks at Henry again, who turns and smiles at him. There’s emotion in his eyes Alex can only try to comprehend. 

The boy who left home to escape people who hated him because of his sexuality. He’s seeing a list of hundreds of names supporting people who identify with his community.  Alex wants to grab his hand but chooses to tap his foot instead. A small gesture to say  _ I’m here. _

“The next school board meeting is right before Easter,” Alex says. “Let’s meet with them then.” 

Everyone agrees and continues to discuss their plan. Using the petition, having both family and teachers there to talk. 

Alex starts to feel up about the situation. 

He’s been getting ready to fight a battle but maybe it won’t be as much of one as he thinks. 

Usually, he runs into every single argument with a sword and a growl.

But he can feel himself lowering it, calming a little as he realizes that there are people out there to help.

He doesn’t have to do this alone, and it might not be as hard to do as he thought. 

**______________**

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Alex states as June leads them into his family’s home. 

“I am well aware of what I can do, Alex,” Henry replies, holding the door open for him and June to walk through. “It’s your birthday, and this is your birthday dinner, of course I am coming.” 

Alex sighs, taking his shoes off by the front door. Henry does the same, his shoes resting perfectly next to Alex’s. 

He smiles. 

Henry has now been a regular attendee for family dinners. He’s even been in control of the menu once (it didn’t go well. They all yelled at him for making fish and chips.)

_ “How did you manage to make bland fries?” _ Nora had asked. 

_ “Henry, please, don’t make me eat mushed peas again,”  _ Alex begged, crying from laughter. 

Henry’s ears went pink, and he laughed during it. But Alex ate every bite (as did everyone else).

His chocolate cake after made up for the meal, at least. 

“Besides,” Henry whispers in Alex’s ear as they walk into the main room, “I have plans for later. The quicker we get out of here the faster we can get my celebration started.”

Alex gulps, watching as Henry walks up to Ellen, immediately falling into a pace to help her cook. 

It’s suddenly very hot. 

“There he is,” Oscar shouts from behind him, pulling him tightly into a hug. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Alex replies, smiling up at him. 

Henry gives a glance and a smile over at him, clearly waiting for a moment to introduce himself. 

Alex rolls his eyes and waves him to come over. 

“Is this the kid that you’ve told me about?” Oscar whispers in Alex’s ear. 

Alex nods. 

“Dad, this is Henry,” Alex says, Henry reaches a hand out.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” he says. 

Henry, ever the pinnacle of politeness and chivalry, waits patiently. He has a soft and calm outfit, colored with blues and greys, and soft hair carefully combed back. 

Oscar looks down at his hand and then back up. 

“Son,” he says, looking at Henry. Alex worries for a moment, but then Oscar practically slaps Henry’s hand, pulling him close into a half hug. “Welcome, I hope you like whiskey.”

When Oscar pulls back he gives both of them a wink, then walks back to the kitchen. 

“Was that him approving of me?” Henry asks awkwardly, looking over at Alex. 

Alex thinks for a moment.

“I’m not sure, you might wanna be extra nice to me tonight just to be sure.” 

Henry rolls his eyes as Alex laughs. Oscar gives them a look.

He hasn’t told him about Henry.

Well, he  _ knows _ about Henry. He just doesn’t know all of the details about him. 

Honestly, he’s kind of hoping his mom had at this point (though she’s so great she probably wouldn’t.) She'd want Alex to come out to his father in his own time. 

He takes a deep sigh and walks over to his father. 

“Hey, uh, can I get your help with something, in the car?” He asks, awkwardly. 

Oscar puts down the towel in his hands and walks towards him. He gives a shrug towards Ellen and continues out of the house. 

“What’s this about?” He asks as Alex opens the car door. 

“There’s something weird with my gas line. Can you check it?” Alex presses a button to open the hatch. 

Oscar moves over and opens it up, chuckling almost immediately. 

“You know, putting it next to the place you put your gas,” he says, shaking a bag of Skittles Alex hid, “probably not a smart choice.”

Alex shrugs. 

“Worked, didn’t it?”

Oscar tears a corner of the bag and pours some in Alex’s hands before grabbing a few of his own. 

“You know,” he says, mouth filled with Skittles, “he seems like a good kid.” 

Alex nods.

“He is.”

“Better than some of the other girls you’ve taken home.” Oscar pops another Skittle in his mouth. 

Alex jerks his head up immediately.

“Y’all aren’t subtle, Alex,” Oscar says knowingly. “Even before he was coming to family dinner, you were either texting him or complaining about how annoying he was.” 

“I-” Alex starts. He pauses, trying to collect his thoughts. He didn’t think it would be quite this easy. “So you’re alright with it?”

“Alright with what?” Oscar asks, confused. 

“Well, that he’s a-” a pause “a he, I guess.”

“Oh, of course I don’t care. Date who you want. But, if he shit talks my cooking, then we might have issues.” 

Alex laughs, feeling light and airy. Henry pokes his head out the door and tells them the food is ready. 

Alex follows him inside, finishing his handful of Skittles, and hearing a cheer of happy birthdays being shouted to him. 

**______________**

“So, you have more planned for me?” Alex says as they walk to Henry’s apartment. 

Henry insisted they stay over at his place that night. Said David would hate to not wish Alex a happy birthday. 

Which is odd, because when they walk in, Alex can’t help but notice the lack of a dog’s presence. 

“Uh, H. I think-” he turns back around to see Henry turn off the light.

His apartment goes dark except for a faint light coming from down the hallway. 

“I lied, I hope that’s alright,” Henry says, taking a step closer.

Alex gulps.

Everything about the way Henry is acting right now, his stance, the way his eyes are looking into his. 

It’s fucking hot. 

“So no one kidnapped David?” Alex asks quietly, trying to keep composure.

“No, just having a slumber party with auntie Pezza,” Henry replies. He leans in, softly putting a hand on Alex’s hip. “Thought we could celebrate without him,” he breathes into Alex’s ear. 

It makes Alex shiver.

“O-Okay,” Alex replies, stuttering as Henry starts to kiss his neck. 

He shouldn’t be falling this quickly but he can’t seem to stop. 

During dinner, Henry kept touching him softly. A hand on the back, tapping of a knee against knee, his hand on his thigh as they were driving. 

_ He was planning this all along _ . 

“How about we move to the bedroom,” Henry says in his ear. 

His hands move to Alex’s back, soft and slow. 

Everything’s so soft. It’s both wonderful and absolutely  _ torturous _ . 

Alex nods and Henry guides him back to the room. The soft light growing brighter and brighter. 

When they walk in Alex sees a string of lights above the bed, softly lighting the whole room. 

Henry closes the door and comes closer, invading Alex’s space.

It feels different (good), but Alex can’t tell why now. 

“Stop thinking so much,” Henry says, leaning down to kiss him. 

Alex should retort back.

But he can’t seem to find the words. 

Not when Henry is kissing him, when he is bringing his hands up his shirt, taking it off. 

Alex reaches over to take Henry’s off too but is stopped. 

“For once in your life,” Henry says, not unkindly, “let someone else be in control.” 

Alex pauses and searches Henry’s eyes. They’re soft, loving almost. (Does Henry love him back? Or is Alex projecting?)

But there is a clear question in them.

_ Do you trust me? _

Alex, who over controls everything. He zones out and doesn’t talk to people for days as he works. Alex, who can’t allow others to see who he is, how much he struggles. 

But it’s all okay when he can control the narrative. 

And now, a boy with blue eyes, soft hands, and a bigger heart than Alex could ever imagine, is looking at him, telling him to let go.

To trust him.

To know that for once, someone else can take some of what’s in his head. 

Alex thinks, for a moment, this is just sex. Why is he overthinking it so much? Henry is probably just trying to give Alex special birthday sex. Not make an emotional declaration. 

But also, if it were only sex, they’d be done by now. Right?

Alex feels a squeeze on his wrist. Henry, softly checking to make sure he is alright.  _ That he is alright _ . 

His blue eyes are still asking the question. 

_ Do you trust me? _

Alex thought there wouldn’t be anyone outside of his family that he could.

But he nods his head and lets his brain shut off. 

Let’s Henry take the reins and let him know that it’s okay to not control every single thing he does. 

The kisses, the touches, hell the way they move into each other. Every move says  _ here, let me take some of that.  _

_ Let me take some of the burdens you carry in your chest, from trying to carry the weight of the world.  _

Miraculously, Alex does.

And that’s how he knows, for all Henry’s amazing parts, worst parts, infuriating parts- that the feeling in his chest won’t go away.

It’s not a fluke.

He’s in love. 

_ And he’s gotta tell Henry about it _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Come check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	23. Iced Coffee and Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is confronted by a couple of people. A little return of the letters, bringing student quotes and contemplation about his life. (Which is ever constant, isn't it?)

Alex, fresh off a discussion about the importance of free school lunches in his Mesopotamia class (he got off-topic, but it was important), is walking to go get lunch and attempt eating in the teacher’s lounge.

Mostly he eats with Henry in his room, but he has a later lunch period on Tuesdays. 

So he typically just eats and works in his room to avoid the lounge. 

Not that he doesn’t like the other teachers. It can get kind of negative at times. 

He’d much rather spend that half an hour not talking about school.

But somehow everyone manages to butt in with asking questions about students, lessons, schedules. It’s overwhelming. 

_ Alex just wants to eat his leftover pizza in peace _ . 

“Diaz-” he hears from behind him. 

He looks at the door wistfully. There are laughs on the other side. 

_ So close _ . 

“Yeah?” He asks, turning around. 

Zahra walks so she is closer to him. Her heels click and her suit pants hit perfectly at her ankles.

She must get them tailored. 

“Have you thought more about next year?”

Alex blinks.

“Uh-”

“I just need to know if I’m going to need to start interviews for your position or not.”

“Well-”

“You don’t have forever, kid,” she says, crossing her arms. 

His mouth goes dry. 

_ Does she want him to have a decision right now? _

“I would like to know sooner rather than later,” she says, walking past him down the hall. “I expect an answer by the end of Easter break.” 

He nods. 

Two weeks. 

He has two weeks to figure this out. 

Alex manages to get into the lounge and to the fridge. 

He is reminded, however, of another reason he doesn’t eat in that room on Tuesdays. 

_ Luna _ . 

Alex continues to heat up his food, feeling the weight of his eyes on the back of his neck. 

He glances over and sees Luna look away quickly, covering up the fact that he is watching him. 

It makes Alex’s blood boil. 

“Wait- Alex,” he says as Alex makes his way out of the room. (Screw the teacher’s lounge. He can eat alone.)

“Sorry, I’ve- uh,” Alex stammers, opening the door and walking out of it. “I’ve got a lunch meeting.”

He lets the door close behind him and lets out a sigh of relief. 

Luna and Alex have been playing a dance of avoidance for a while now. Ever since he refused to help Henry and Alex with the PTA. 

It’s been awkward, especially since he is Alex’s mentor. 

But they’ve been fine. June and Nora have helped him through any problems. Luna must be signing off on meetings and turning them in, as Zahra hasn’t commented on anything. 

So it’s worked. 

At his desk, Alex opens the cap to his water bottle for a few gulps before eating. 

It only takes him about fifteen minutes, so he decides with the extra fifteen he’s going to write Henry a letter. 

It’s been a thing, ever since Alex did it the first time. They write each other a note, add on a quote from a student, and secretly drop it off to one another. 

One morning Alex found his attached to a box of donuts. 

**H,**

**It’s Tuesday. That means that not only can we** **_not_ ** **eat lunch together, it means I have to hide in my room to avoid people.**

**I didn’t.**

**Avoid people that is.**

**Zahra busted me in the hall, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named tried to corner me in the lounge.**

**It was a nightmare, truly.**

**Meanwhile, you get to eat lunch with Nora and Pez on Tuesdays (it’s unfair. I demand a switch.)**

**Anyway, I hope that your second hour didn’t try to turn your lesson on epic heroes into a debate about D.C. versus Marvel again.**

**(Although I must admit I would love to join into that fight. D.C. didn’t create the iconic cartoon Young Justice just to be trampled upon by the Marvel Cinematic Universe.)**

**Can we have breakfast for dinner tonight? I just had pizza, but find myself wanting waffles.**

**\- A**

**P.S. A quote from a couple of days ago.**

**“I would give my left toe just to be able to be in the vicinity of [him]. [He] is all I want right now. I know [he] will make me happy and feel complete.”**

**\- Joseph Callahan in 4th hour.**

**(Okay he was talking about McDonald’s fries here, but the sentiment remains the same.)**

Alex folds up the paper and walks it down to Henry’s classroom. Henry is helping a student, looking away from the door, so he darts in and drops it on his desk.

A few students look at him oddly, but no one pays him any mind.

They’re too zoned in to whatever task he has them working on currently. 

**______________**

At the end of the school day, Alex finds himself walking down the hall with Luna not too far behind him. 

_ What the fuck does he need? _

Alex turns right down the hall, thinking Luna would turn into his own classroom.

But he doesn’t.

Frowning he continues the walk to his classroom.

He turns in, goes to close the door, and a hand blocks his way.

“Alex,” Luna says. There’s a soft look in his eyes, a bit of sadness too. But also determination. “Can we please talk?”

Alex huffs.

“About what?”

“What happened, before.”

Alex pushes on the door a little again but Luna doesn’t let up. He looks up and meets his gaze, realizing Luna isn’t going to back down.

He sighs and lets him through the door.

_ This is going to end up being a mistake.  _

“You have two minutes,” Alex says, leaning against his desk.

He refuses to sit down. Sitting down means that he’ll stay for a while, and he doesn’t want Luna to be here any longer than necessary.

“Look I wanted to apologize,” Luna says.

Alex frowns.

“For?”

“For not helping you. I know I should have. That having a veteran teacher to help you would make this journey easier, I just didn’t.”

He pauses. Alex lets the room fill with silence. 

It’s not his conversation. Luna will have to do the talking.

_Do the apologizing._

“I was afraid if I did that people would find out.”

Alex blinks. 

_ What the fuck is he getting at? _

“Find what out?” Alex asks. “That you’re a prat?”

_ Fuck, Henry’s Britishisms are catching up to Alex _ .

Luna lifts an eyebrow. Alex refuses to address it. 

“That I’m bisexual.”

The words hit Alex in the face.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Alex takes a seat.

“If you are then-” a breath. “Then why won’t you help us?”

“I was a coward, Alex.” Luna takes a chair and brings it round to sit next to Alex’s desk. “This place hasn’t always been as accepting as it is, and I wouldn’t even say it’s crazy accepting right now either.” 

Alex huffs.

_ Probably right _ .

“But-”

“No, Alex,” Luna continues. “I know what I did wrong. I let fear get in the way of what I should have done. I allowed myself to be afraid of Richards and the ways I’ve seen him treat other teachers who identify as anything other than cisgender or heterosexual.”

Alex watches as Luna keeps talking. His eyes bounce from his hands, to Alex’s face, to the ceiling. 

“I was afraid, but then I see what you and Henry are doing. The kids know. They may not know everything, but you’re giving them hope, Alex. That they matter in this world. That even a school in Texas can be progressive and thoughtful in the way it teaches history.” 

He sighs and looks straight into Alex’s eyes before his next sentence.

“I want to help. If you’ll let me, of course. I know you’re asking teachers to sign your petition. I’d like to sign it as well, and I’d like to help you prepare or meet with whoever you need to. You don’t have to do this alone, and I’m sorry I’ve made you do it in isolation up to this point.”

Alex thinks for a moment about Henry, the Jensens, June and Nora.

“I’ve not been in isolation,” Alex says quietly. “Not really. I’ve had help.”

Luna nods, looking back down. It’s solemn and defeated.

“But,” Luna looks back up. “I wouldn’t say no to more help, if you’re willing.” 

He smiles.

“So, uh,” Luna continues. “You and Henry-”

“Nope,” Alex interrupts. 

He isn’t sure how Luna knows, but he’s not getting into it now.

“If you want to know about my life, you’ve got to buy me a burger first.”

Luna leans his head back and laughs.

“You drive a hard bargain, kid. But I’ll do it.”

He stands up and puts the chair back.

“Thursday night work for a burger?” Luna asks from the doorway. 

Alex nods in reply, realizing he has a piece of paper on his desk that wasn’t there before. 

He’s sure Luna left, but it didn’t register in his head.

**Alex,**

**Nothing quite says** **_I love you_ ** **like waxing poetic about chips from Maccies, does it?**

**I think I remember that day. I walked past him in the hallway and he was still talking about it. You must have made quite an impact on him, Mr. Claremont-Diaz.**

**Apologies for your dreadful lunch schedule, however, it is simply a thing all new teachers must go through. You get the bad desk, the room with the chalkboards, and the wild lunch shift.**

**I’d feel bad for you if I didn’t have one similar to it for two years in a row.**

**I hope you somehow survived your confrontation with the woman you** **_work for_ ** **and Voldemort himself (who knew dark wizards could get into the building? Someone must work better on our wards.)**

**I decided to lean into the debate. There was no talk of Young Justice, so the students have failed you. Hopefully you can educate them properly before they continue down the wrong path in life.**

**RE: your waffles for dinner idea, I’ll do it. But there can be no leftover whipped cream. If we run out of waffles, then I must find another surface for it.**

**I hope your last hour was alright, and that Edward didn’t try to argue something willfully ignorant.**

**I will see you soon.**

**\- Henry**

**P.S.**

**Here is a quote from my 6th-hour class today.**

**“It’s like good ole Willy said,** **_My bounty is as deep as men’s pockets, love as deep, the more I give to y’all, the more I have, for the limit does not exist._ ** **Or, you know, whatever. Same gist. ”**

**\- Bianca Truller**

**What Bianca meant to quote was William Shakespeare’s quote from Romeo and Juliet (although I guess she did get the general tone of the quote when she adapted it to modern language.)**

**The actual quote reads as:** **_My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite_ ** **.**

**In this Juliet is explaining her feelings for Romeo. That it is deep and endless like the sea, and that the more love she gives, the more she gains. She doesn’t run out.**

**Bianca, however, was talking about iced coffee.**

Alex stares at the page.

He laughed a few times, but the ending quote.

_ It has to mean something. _

All this time Alex has been sitting here in his feelings, wondering how he is going to tell Henry.

But, he wouldn’t choose a quote like that if he  _ weren’t _ in love. Right?

_ In this Juliet is explaining her feelings for Romeo _ .

Who is Juliet? Who is Romeo?

Are they destined to die?

(Will their downfall be missing a letter? A scheme to avoid families or people trying to keep them apart?)

He hears the clicking of shoes into his room.

It’s not Zahra, it’s June. 

He clears his throat.

“Hey, June,” he says, turning to look up at her. He gets up to start erasing the board, acting like nothing is wrong. 

Nothing is. Not really.

If anything, it’s  _ right _ . 

Small moments are popping into his head. 

Henry texting him good morning. 

Bringing him his coffee when he stays over. 

How David curls up to Alex when Henry upsets him. 

How easily Henry fits into his family, into his life. 

He’s been saying it all along, right?

He feels arms come around from behind him, and he huffs from the pressure. 

“Uh, hello?” He turns around to see June take a step back and smile up at him. 

She has a paper in her hand. 

_ Oh fuck _ .

He grabs it back. 

“June- why are you-”

“I’m sorry I just saw it and I didn’t think it would be bad,” she defends. 

He frowns. 

“Why are you hugging me?”

“I’m not.”

“Well, why  _ were _ you hugging me.”

“I’m just glad, is all.” She shrugs. 

“Glad?”

“I just want you to be happy,” she explains, patting his shoulder twice and walking out. 

He has the letter in his hand.

He gathers his belongings together. Papers to grade, his water bottle, old Tupperware. 

Alex hasn’t told Henry yet that he loves him. 

No time has felt right. 

_ When do you find the right time for this kind of thing? _

As he walks out of his room he sees Henry locking his door and turns to face him. The smile on his face warms Alex’s heart.

June said she just wants him to be happy.

  
_ Maybe he is happy after all.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	24. My Mouth Opens, But the Door Closes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Henry meet with the board, Alex wants to confess something to Henry.
> 
> (Will he be able to?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, rising from the dead and posting this chapter haha.
> 
> Sorry for the long time between updates. I can't promise that another one will come quickly, but I hope that it'll at least be before another month passes haha.

**Alex,**

**I’m thinking about tonight as I write this. About having yet** **_another_ ** **meeting. About trying to convince them that something as simple as teaching** **_history_ ** **should be allowed. We are in the 21st century. Gay marriage is legalized, there are pride festivals in every state.**

**Yet we can’t talk about it in schools.**

**At least not comfortably.**

**I had a class today where the students brought up the sexuality of different classic authors throughout history.**

**I kept my mouth closed, but I didn’t stop the conversation. I’m never quite sure how to encourage it, to continue their thoughtful analysis of authors and how that affected their work.**

**I’m hoping that when we get this approved, I can incorporate more purposeful conversations without the fear of getting fired.**

**(Not that Zahra would- but you already know how the PTA and superintendent can be.)**

**I am, however, excited for whatever awaits us tonight for dinner.**

**Pez already is planning to pick David up after school (claiming familial visiting rights) so I have no obligations to go anywhere but your flat :).**

**I’m hopeful that tonight will be filled with celebrations instead of regrets or anger.**

**Maybe we can get something nice for dinner? Or dessert? I can cook or buy something if you’re interested.**

**(I remember you said something about chocolate sauce? Are we thinking for ice cream or for- actually, I’ll let you use your imagination.)**

**\- Henry**

**P.S.-**

**I know it’s not a student quote (as per tradition), but it** **_was_ ** **said in class. So I hope this counts.**

**_Then I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed._ **

**Jane Austen**

Alex looks at the last bit of the letter, reading and re-reading the quote. 

_ Never to be removed.  _

Is this Henry’s way of telling Alex? Is this a confession? Or merely a quote to keep the back and forth going. 

(Alex knows the answer. But confirming it seems scarier.)

He folds the letter and slides it into his desk drawer with letters he’s received before. 

He plans to take them home one day. Do something with them. (Henry seems like the kind of sap that would love a scrapbook. Maybe Alex can do that sometime.)

_ Maybe for an anniversary? _

Alex shakes his head and walks down the hall.

_ School board mode first, Alex.  _ Then  _ you can confess your love.  _

“Hello,” Loren says as he walks up to the door. He gives a nod and a greeting. 

They are meeting in the conference room again. It’s large enough for everyone, but it feels tighter this time. More ominous. 

Alex peers into the doorway and sees Rafael Luna, following through on his promise. He’s standing close to a parent, a coffee in his hand. Luna winks when he makes eye contact with Alex. 

“For someone who typically has a fire under his ass, you’re standing fairly still,” Henry states, popping up behind him. 

Alex turns around to look at him. 

_ Really _ look at him. 

Even after a day filled with teaching, Henry has the look of Prince Charming. Golden skin, light hair, nice ass…

Alex shakes his head and looks back up to a smirking Henry, obviously caught in the act. 

“Well, Fox, let’s go in then,” Alex says, gesturing to the door, trying his best to cover up how  _ obvious _ he was being. 

Henry smiles and walks into the room. 

“Age before beauty,” Alex whispers as he walks by. 

Henry tsks, but smiles anyway. 

(Alex enjoyed the moment of looking at Henry’s ass one more time before stepping into the room.)

Once entered it takes several moments for everyone to get settled. 

Alex recognizes some of the faces (some good, some not so good) sitting around him, and takes comfort in the fact that the school board doesn't consist of the same people who are currently in the PTA. 

_ Maybe this means they’ll actually have a chance. _

Zahra is here, sitting next to June, Luna is to Alex’s left, and Henry is to his right. 

_ The gang's all here _ . 

And they are ready to fight.

_____________________________

One hour later they walk out of the building. 

“So now we just wait?” Alex huffs. 

He isn't sure if it went well or poorly, which is the most frustrating part of the experience. If it had gone poorly he’d have something to place his anger on. 

And if it went well then he’d have plans to celebrate.

(Chocolate sauce in the cabinet.)

“I would assume,” Henry responds, walking back to his car. 

While they are both going to the same destination (Alex’s apartment), they didn’t drive to school together. Both in the name of not being suspicious and in the fact that Alex woke up too late to pick Henry up. 

Henry opens his car door and puts his bag in the passenger seat. When he turns around he gives Alex two taps on his arm. 

A check-in. A signal of a kiss unable to give, but desperately wanting to have. 

“It’ll be alright,” he says, softly. For a moment, Alex thinks it will. 

(Damn British accent makes everything feel softer and more romantic. It’s like Alex is being buttered up before being thrown into the oven.)

“See you in five?” Alex asks, taking a step back and opening his car door. 

Henry gives a smile and a nod before getting into his. 

Alex turns the ignition and watches as Henry’s lights pull off in front of him. As he drives through the parking lot, he sees Zahra, June, and Luna leave through the front door. They’ve all got somber faces, and shoulders slumped over. 

It feels weird because they didn’t get a  _ win _ tonight. But it wasn’t a loss. 

_ “We’ll reach out to you soon after we’ve had time to discuss,” _ they were told. 

Alex turns out of the parking lot, rolling his eyes.

It shouldn’t be a matter of  _ thinking it over _ . It’s common fucking sense, right? 

The radio starts to play an ad for deodorant and Alex turns it down. There are too many thoughts floating through his head at the moment. 

He has to let go of the meeting. Of the silence and the stoic faces staring at him as they spoke about what they want to accomplish. How they dismissed them without so much as a smile. 

It was eerie and uncomfortable, and didn’t give Alex any hope of a positive result. 

Alex scrunches up his face and lets out a long sigh. 

  
_It doesn’t matter now_.

That sometimes all he can do is wait for a result, for the pieces to fall. 

Alex sees the left blinker on Henry’s Prius flashing in the dark. 

_ I examined my own heart _ .

He did. He’s been looking at it for a long while now. 

_ And there you were. _

Henry always was. 

_ Never to be removed _ .

Alex pulls into a parking spot next to Henry and turns it off. 

_ Forever feels crazy, _ Alex thinks to himself. 

He’s not been good at  _ forever _ choices. Couldn’t even properly finish law school. 

But Henry is bigger than that. He’s a forever choice that Alex  _ wants _ . That he  _ loves _ . 

He steps out of the car and reaches for Henry’s hand as they walk into the building. 

“A lot on your mind?” He asks, shifting the bag on his shoulder. 

Alex chuckles. 

“Yeah, you could say that.”

They get to Alex’s door and Henry kisses his temple. 

“It’ll be okay, Alex.”

Alex gulps as he opens the door. 

_ Will it? _

He kicks off his shoes as he enters, holding the door open for Henry and his bag. Henry moves his shoes over and places both Alex’s and his side by side. 

Alex’s heart shouldn’t make the pang it does inside his chest, but he can’t help it. 

Their shoes, side by side. 

Alex can’t help but think of that being a  _ usual _ thing. Something he always sees next to the door. 

A toothbrush next to his. A drawer with his clothes. 

Love. In every boring, exciting, frustrating sense of the word. 

He  _ loves _ Henry. 

And he is  _ positive _ Henry loves him too. 

The door softly closes behind Alex, and he takes a moment to lean against it, watching Henry move and make himself comfortable in Alex’s space. 

Henry sits on the couch and looks up.

“All right, love?” He asks. 

_ Love _ .

“Yup,” Alex responds, taking a step away from the door. 

_ Just do it _ .

He moves to the coffee table and sits in front of Henry. 

“Are you sure about that?” Henry asks.

Alex nods and reaches for his hands. 

They’re always so soft and warm.

“There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Alex takes a deep breath. Henry watches him, blue eyes meeting brown. 

“These past few months have been great,” Alex starts. 

Something buzzes on the couch, Alex frowns. 

“Ignore it- I’m sure it’s nothing,” Henry replies. 

Alex opens his mouth when the buzzing starts, but then it begins again almost immediately. 

“You should answer it,” he suggests, dropping his hands from Henry’s. 

Henry sighs.

“Just a minute.” 

He reaches and grabs his phone. 

When he sees the number he frowns but gives no indication of  _ who _ is calling. 

“Hello?” Henry says. 

He stands up and walks down the hall, leaving Alex to his thoughts. 

Alex cracks his neck and twists his back, trying to remove any stress that might be held in his joints. 

When Henry comes back in, however, Alex can sense that something is wrong.

“What’s going on?” Alex asks, standing up. 

Henry is visibly shaken, phone still resting in his palms.

“I-er-”

Stammering, never a good sign when it comes to Henry, word extraordinaire. 

“I need to go,” he says, finally making eye contact with Alex. “I’m so sorry- I.” He clears his throat. “Something happened with Bea and I need to go home.” 

Alex shakes his head and reaches for Henry, pulling him into a hug. 

“No apologies.” He squeezes him tight, feeling his shoulder start to get wet. 

They stand for a moment. 

Alex almost says the words but holds back. 

_ Not now, Alex _ . 

He’s not sure what’s happened, but something bad enough to scare Henry. 

Henry grabs his shoes, his overnight bag, a bottle of water, and leaves. 

Alex stands in the living room, staring at the spot where Henry’s shoes were. 

He’ll be back. 

And hopefully, Bea will be okay. 

_____________________________

Alex doesn’t hear from Henry all weekend. 

It's Easter, so Alex is left to fester on Friday and Monday, dodging both Nora and June's questions about Henry. 

Henry doesn’t show for school on Tuesday. A sub shows up in his place instead. 

Zahra doesn’t come to ask him about whether he’s decided yet. 

Alex stares at his phone, hoping, praying. 

_ Please be okay _ . 

The following Thursday Alex emails Georgetown, deciding to go back in the fall. 

Friday he sends a single text. 

**Pompous Ass💩**

**I hope you’re doing okay.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	25. Mountains or Ant Hills, Decisions and Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex chose to go to Georgetown next year instead of staying at this school. 
> 
> Cue reflections about the decisions, talks with Zahra, and a phone call from someone he's been waiting for.

Alex isn’t sure why he did it.

He meant to think about it more, mull over his options.

(Not that he hadn’t _mulled_ plenty.)

He taps his phone to check the home screen as he packs his bags for the weekend. 

_Henry hasn’t responded yet_. 

He wonders, briefly, if the decision is because he needed something to control. Not knowing what’s going on, where Henry stands, has left Alex feeling lost.

Confused.

_Powerless._

He checks his phone again as he walks out of his classroom. It’s Friday, 4 pm. The halls are silent as he walks down, the soft tap of his shoes bringing the only noise to the typically loud and glaringly overstimulating building.

(Teenagers are loud, and in their absence the building feels eerie.)

(Teachers are too, of course, they’re not exempt.)

But no teachers are here after 4 on a Friday. It shouldn’t _seem_ late, but it is. They all rushed out as soon as they could. As soon as the last child they were in charge of exited through the double doors at the front of the building, teachers were flying out of the building. 

(Alex _swears_ he saw the freshman biology teacher _literally_ fly. There’s no way her feet were touching the ground.)

They’re all exhausted. Illogically so. It was a short week because of Easter. Yet somehow it felt like the longest week of Alex’s life.

He assumed it was because of everything happening around him. But it seems everyone else was ready to escape too. 

A few taps echo from the other end of the hall and he turns around. Zahra stands at the end, looking at a bulletin board. He can’t make out her face, but he can sense a Zahra frown when he sees one. 

He turns to walk back down, plan to quietly exit through the side door ruined by his curiosity. 

She becomes crisper. Zahra was wearing a deep blue pant suit today, but the jacket has become abandoned, leaving just a white blouse. When Alex gets even closer, he can see a small coffee stain on the collar. 

He raises his eyebrow when she looks up at him. 

“You should see the jacket,” she states, turning back to the board. He nods solemnly looking up at a board of announcements. 

“So what did it do to you?”

She hums in response, lost in thought. 

“The bulletin board-” he clarifies. “Did it personally pour the coffee on your shirt? Or did it just threaten to take your first born?”

Zahra snorts, a sound Alex never expected to hear come from her mouth. 

_She must be delusional._

“I’m trying to find a place for the calendar, which has somehow been abandoned by everything else on this monstrosity of a board.”

She gestures up at a particular flyer for a bake sale the myth club is putting on next Wednesday. 

“You could probably take down the photography club’s pictures. They’ve been up since January.”

“Have they really?” She asks, reaching up to grab a few. “I’ll put them in Mr. Dupon’s mailbox and he can find a place for them.”

He shifts his bag on his shoulder.

“Why are you still here?” She asks, sticking thumb tacks to the side of the board to save for later. “Thought after deciding to not come back next year you’d want to never be around.”

Alex shrugs.

“Had some grading to do.”

She turns to look at him, eyebrow raised and eyes digging into his soul.

It’s uncomfortable how much she _knows_. 

But, for all her stares and knowing more about Alex than any boss should be able to figure out, she says nothing.

“Heard from Henry?” She asks instead.

His heart jumps at the name.

_Calm down you overactive organ, not every mention of his name needs to make you leap so desperately._

“Not today, no,” he responds. It’s not a lie. (He hasn’t heard from him today. Or yesterday. Or the day before that.)

She nods again, hanging the calendar up where the pictures (now scattered around her on the floor) once hung. 

Alex is never sure when conversations with Zahra are finished. Everything she says feels final. Like she’s dropping a metaphorical mic anytime you interact with her. 

It’s both intimidating but also comforting (in a weird way.) 

“Uh so I-”

“You two caused me a lot of problems around here at the beginning of the year,” she says while grabbing some of the photos off the ground. “But I’m going to miss the life you brought to the hallway.”

Alex’s eyes go wide before it registers with him.

“Wait- Zahra. Are you saying you’re going to m-”

She stops him by shoving the pictures in his chest. Fierce brown eyes looking into the terrified brown ones of his own. 

“You tell a soul and I will deny it.” She lets go of the pictures and Alex quickly catches them. “Can you drop those off at Eric’s mailbox on your way out? Thanks.”

She walks away, heels making light noises on the tile as she continues down the hall. 

Alex sighs. _Another pit stop_. 

_____________________________

When Alex returns to his apartment his phone starts to angrily vibrate in his pocket. 

He lets it ring out, assuming it’s June pestering him to have dinner with her. 

(He told her he had plans.) 

Alex sets the pizza box down on the table next to a six-pack. 

(He does. It’s just, not with anyone besides Alex Trebek and a few random contestants.)

When it begins to ring again Alex groans and grabs his phone.

“June I already told you-”

“Alex?”

He freezes.

_It’s not June_. 

“Henry?” He asks. 

Immediately Alex hates himself for how breathless his voice sounds. He wants to punch himself square in the jaw for how much _want_ he feels right now. 

But also, it’s Henry. 

His stupid posh accent and deliciously smooth voice. (It makes sense to Alex how he can pull those both off.) (Asshole.)

“Yes, it’s-” a breath. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s been a while. I haven’t been able to talk and-”

Everything Henry says comes out like a run-on sentence after that. Alex’s ADHD muddled brain can only handle so much before he interrupts.

“Henry breath. No sense in sending you to the hospital too.” 

Alex sits on the couch. The light of the T.V. is shining in his living room as the evening starts to grow dim. He knows the pizza is about to get cold (but that’s fine. Even cold pizza is good at times.)

Henry takes in an audible breath and continues to explain. 

How when he arrived he rushed straight to the hospital. How Bea had overdosed again, how afraid he was. 

(He doesn’t say the last part, but Alex knows. He can sense it in his voice. In all this time in studying Henry, Alex has learned plenty.)

How when he finally got a moment to call Alex, the one person he had wanted to talk to, he couldn’t find his phone. 

How it was then he realized he left it at the airport in New York.

Alex listens. Both to the story, to understand why it’s been a week since he last heard from Henry, and to simply _hear_ Henry.

How his family walked out of the room any time he walked in. 

How Bea’s phone was nowhere to be found. 

(He purchased a new one, apparently.)

By the time he finishes speaking, Alex’s beer is warm, the living room dark, and his eyes tired.

“I’m sorry,” Henry says, not for the first time this evening. “I can’t imagine the stress I put you through.”

Alex stretches on the couch, making noises that are a dead giveaway for how tired he feels. 

“I’m sorry you’re probably tired-”

“No, no, I’m fine.” He sits up and grabs a slice of pizza from the box. “How’s Bea doing?”

“Better. Recovering.” He sighs. “I’ve been drowning in familial issues for a week, and I’m reminded of why I left in the first place.” 

Alex nods absentmindedly, forgetting that Henry can’t see him. 

“What have you done this past week?” Henry asks. “Hopefully it’s been far more interesting than mine.”

Alex thinks, mulling it over.

Worrying about Henry. 

School.

Panicking about Henry.

Deciding on Georgetown.

Being angry at Henry.

He ate at a new breakfast taco place on Monday.

Before his brain starts thinking about how much he wants another taco, it freezes.

_Georgetown_. 

He made his decision. When he thought Henry was just ignoring him. When he believed that his feelings were one-sided.

(Are they? Alex still isn’t sure. All the sureness he had in his system, the typical Claremont-Diaz confidence vanished. Now he isn’t sure of _anything_.)

“Alex?” Henry nudges.

_Maybe it’s for the best that the decision is already made._

He clears his throat.

(At least now he can start making decisions. However hard they may be.

“Just a few things. I can catch you up when you return.” Alex mentally pats himself on the back, giving himself more time to find the words. “Do you know when you’ll be back?” 

“I’m going to leave Wednesday morning. I likely won’t return to school until Monday, but I can see you before then.”

Alex’s heart jumps.

_He’ll be gone this weekend to go up to Georgetown._

Maybe he didn’t buy himself time like he thought he had. 

“Oh- uh,” Alex fumbles. “I won’t be here.”

Silence. 

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah- yes.”

A pause. Alex can feel his ears ringing, the sound of his mother telling him to turn the dial down on his childhood radio shouting in his ears. 

He shakes his head.

(Now isn’t the time.)

“I made my decision about Georgetown.” Alex puts down the half-eaten piece of pizza. “I’m going back this summer.”

Alex braces for impact. Waiting to hear a major reaction. 

But, as always, Henry surprises him.

“Alex that’s great!” He replies. 

And he sounds genuinely happy. Alex isn’t sure if he should feel relieved or worried. 

(Was this decision not the mountain Alex made it to be? Was it simply a tiny anthill on the sidewalk, bothersome and unaffecting to those who walk past.)

“Yeah,” he replies, the smile on his face feeling fake. 

_If it’s a good decision, why does he feel like throwing up?_

A knock at the door.

His smile fading.

“Hey H, I should go. I think June is here to rip my head off.” He states, turning off the T.V. “Will you,” he clears his throat, the next part not coming out as easy as he’d like it to. “Will you be around to talk more later?”

Henry says yes, that it’s unlikely he’ll fall asleep any time soon. With Bea in the hospital and sidestepping his family, it seems Henry hasn’t fully transitioned back to England time. 

(Works for Alex in this case, but only makes him worry about Henry.)

They give their goodbyes and Alex goes to the door. (It’s June, there to call him on his lie.)

He doesn’t end up calling Henry that night. Instead spending it battling June for the last slice of pizza, trying to answer questions on Jeopardy, and then staring at his phone, trying to get himself to press the dial button. 

Everything he felt so sure of before feels uncertain now. 

Not the feelings part.

That’s something he is sure of. That he loves Henry. 

But he once thought he loved ice cream, and he still does, but it hurts him every time he consumes it. 

(Is that what Henry is doing?)

Alex’s stomach growls.

(It’s the ice cream, he knows it.)

_Not Henry_ , he tells himself. That feeling in his gut _isn’t_ Henry. 

He’s going to Georgetown. Henry’s staying in Texas. 

It hurts.

(It really does.)

But he won’t make it a thing.

He was wrong. It’s as simple as that.

  
All the letters. The touches. 

_The kisses._

Maybe he read too much into it. 

The texts.

The late nights.

How Henry feels in his arms.

How his heart beats in his chest. 

Alex’s heart skips for a painful second again, almost reminding himself it’s still there. 

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, wishing for sleep to come quickly.

(It doesn’t.)

(It never does.)

His phone goes off at four in the morning. 

**Maybe: Henry**

**I fell asleep as soon as we got off the phone.**

**Hope you’re sleeping.**

**Talk to you more later, Love.**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> I promise this fic WILL finish. Life's gotten a bit crazy so updates have been sparse, but I appreciate any and all of you who have stuc through this story thus far <3\. 
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	26. Hacking Away at the Seeds of Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward tension, saturday detention, and a conversation....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Just a heads up, I'm going through and slowly formatting this fic, so if you see differences in how chapters look- that's why haha. Thanks for being patient!

They hardly talk over the weekend. 

It seems that something isn’t _clicking_ like it was. 

What once was endless texts streaming between their phones, nights spent tangled in each other’s sheets, is now silence and missed calls. 

Short responses, jet lag, busy schedules. 

_Georgetown._

Alex spends the weekend feeling out of place, assuming that the odd brain fog he experiences is due to not being on campus for so long. That he’s just disconnected from the world he once knew so well. 

He passed the library, the place he stayed for hours studying, writing papers, editing and reading until his eyes couldn’t focus and the librarians carried him out. (Physically, once. There’s a guy who’s built like a truck and carried him bridal style out of the building.)

Alex doesn’t let himself think about the _other_ reason he feels this way.

Even when he sees Henry standing at the door, wearing a powder blue button up and khakis, he doesn’t let it enter his brain. 

It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since before Easter. It feels like it’s been decades, instead of only a couple of weeks. 

“Hello,” Alex says, turning back to his papers. 

It feels awkward, tense.

And Alex isn’t sure who’s the cause.

If it’s Henry who is making the room feel tense. Or Alex’s knowledge that it’s clear Henry doesn’t feel the same. 

(It had to have been a fluke. What Alex felt.)

“Er-” Henry stammers. Alex watches him shift forward, contemplating entering the room.

The bell rings.

“Best be off then,” he mutters, turning in the door frame.

They don’t talk again for the remainder of the day. 

______________

Alex forgets about Saturday until the morning hits.

_Saturday detention._

It’s been so long since he’s done it- he almost forgot what it’s like. 

The early morning drive without traffic. The way the sun looks just a bit brighter over the horizon. 

His stomach sunk when he remembered that Henry was his partner in this endeavor. 

A whole four hours of time with Henry. The person he is currently not speaking to.

(Well- he’s not _not_ trying to speak to him. It’s just a natural side effect of avoidance.)

It was exciting when they saw the schedule weeks before. Alex said he’d bring donuts, Henry would provide the coffee. 

But this morning, when he left his apartment, Alex wasn’t sure if he still should. If he should bring donuts and look like a fool if Henry doesn’t bring coffee- or not bring donuts and be empty handed while Henry hands him a cup. 

(How is Alex supposed to navigate this? It’s not like he can just ask.)

Well, he could. But how would that text string go? 

_Hey Henry, I know we’ve not talked much since you returned. But are you still bringing coffee? I can get the donuts?_

It feels like an easy enough text. Simple- straight to the point. But there’s so much _more_ there. Surely it’d result in things being brought up. And that’s something Alex is actively avoiding. 

In the end, he grabbed a small bag of glazed, ready to hide it in his bag filled with his laptop and papers to grade just in case.

But when he walks into the building, it’s not Henry he sees.

“Oh fuck yes,” Nora says in the lobby, snatching the bag of donuts from his hand. “I’m starving.”

“Uh,” Alex says, confused. “No offense but-”

“Henry asked to switch,” she provides. 

Alex huffs.

(He hates when people guess correctly what he’s about to say.) 

The doors open before he can ask another question, and instead he’s found ushering several students through the lobby and into different areas. 

Sam, as always, is doing work. Alex and Sam are in his classroom, working away. Nora has another couple of students in the hall cleaning graffiti off of the lockers. 

He manages to get through a few more papers before Nora returns to his room, having set the students up in the hall with cleaning supplies and strict instructions.  
Nora walks towards him, putting a small stack of cell phones down in the middle, and sits across from Alex with a serious look on her face. It looks peeved, and Alex wonders what happened, before he recognizes the look currently plastered on his face. 

He immediately tries to busy himself, not wanting to acknowledge what she’s obviously trying to do.

_She’s trying to talk to him._

(Not just _talking_. But Talking. A capital T and everything.)

And Alex isn’t ready for it. 

“Alex,” she says.

(Seems that doesn’t matter.)

He sighs.

“Yes, Nora?” He flips a page, trying to focus on the assignment he’s decided _desperately_ needs to be graded at this moment. 

“What the fuck is happening?”

He glares at her and points to Sam. 

Sam is sitting across the room with his headphones in, trying to finish his work. Nora rolls her eyes.

“Alright, now I _know_ something’s up. You’re acting like June.”

“I’m just telling you to watch your language in front of-”

“What happened between you and Henry, you asshole?”

Alex freezes, debating his next choice of words carefully. 

He hasn’t discussed it yet. Not with Nora. Not with June. 

Not with _anyone_ really. 

“And _why_ are you going back to Georgetown when you _clearly_ want to stay here.”

Alex winces. 

Nora, somehow, always manages to know things that Alex doesn’t. That he’s not yet accepted or figured out. 

She’s right though. If he thinks of those feelings, of the thoughts that rushed through his brain while he was visiting- he doesn’t want to go back. What he thought he’d find- answers, feelings clicking into place- they didn’t happen. 

Not like he thought they would. 

He opens his mouth and closes it again. 

“Fine,” she huffs. “Since I’ve apparently rendered you unable to talk, you can listen.” She shifts in her seat. “Whatever you’ve gotten in your head about Henry- you need to shut it the fuck down. You two are so visibly disgusting with love and all those gushy emotions that throwing that to the side isn’t good.” Sam coughs in the distance and Nora and Alex both look. He shifts in his seat. “You have a bad habit of getting too in your own head about shit. So shut it down and let yourself have this.” 

Alex looks up at her.

“But-” he starts.

“Nope,” she stops him. “Let yourself have one good thing without fucking it up, alright?”

Alex purses his lips and looks back down at the paper he’s grading. 

Nora gets up, muttering about boys and needing to use the restroom. 

Sam shifts in his seat.

“Mr. C-D?” He asks. 

Alex jumps. “Yes?”

“Mrs. Holloran is right. I think Mr. Fox has been different since coming back. More… uh…” Sam frowns, thinking of the words. “Somber? I guess. Either way we can all tell something’s off. Now I wonder if it’s because he misses you?”

Alex feels shock wash over him.

“How-”

“I haven’t told anyone,” Sam says. “But y’all keep talking about stuff while I’m in the room.” He shrugs. “Bound to find out eventually.” 

Nora walks back into the room. Sam shifts and Alex can hear music playing through his earphones.

(Still too loud.)

Alex manages the rest of his Saturday morning without more callouts.

\----------------

Alex spends all Sunday thinking about what Nora and Sam said. How he’s _too in his head_. How Sam said Henry seemed off. 

(Could Alex really have affected Henry that much?)

Alex wonders if maybe Henry feels the same as him. Lost. Confused. Completely and utterly terrified at his feelings. (Alex’s once confidence in his emotions is lost now to his brain telling him it’s fake. That whatever he _thought_ was there wasn’t.)

It’s entirely stupid- especially because it’s not like Henry broke up with him, or did anything wrong. 

Alex’s brain just simply provided the blueprint, and the walls started to be built with each passing moment. With each day he didn’t hear from Henry- Alex felt the once seeds of doubt in his mind sprout into weeds. Vines crawling through his skull of disbelief and doubt. 

At the beginning of the school day, Alex decides this needs to change. He needs to hack down all the garbage wildlife growing in his brain. He needs a saw, clippers, a lawn mower even. 

At lunch he sees Henry. But the weeds haven’t been taken down yet. 

They’re still present. And he feels one grow as Henry looks away from him. As Henry chooses a different path down the hall. 

He shakes his head and continues to try to kill the doubt. 

At the end of the day, Alex looks at his email. 

(Parents, students, newsletters.)

A subscription he made at the last moment to NatGeo for a class assignment. 

And then he sees it.

An email about the class and club from a member of the board.

His heart is racing as he clicks it, reading it slowly.

Two-- three times he reads it through before it sinks in.

_The board has chosen to approve these additions to the school’s curriculum and activity._

He stands up excited. 

(There’s a caveat that it needs to be approved by the superintendent, but Alex doesn’t care.)

He’s too excited.

It finally feels like they’ve _gotten_ somewhere. 

Without thinking he closes his laptop and runs down the hall. His footsteps are loud and echoey, his cardigan flies behind him as he picks up momentum. Alex’s body carries him to the place (the person) it knows too well. 

_Henry._

He stops, breathing heavily at Henry’s door.

It’s open. The lights are turned off, and Alex thinks for a moment he’s already left.

He takes one step through the door, and sees him at his desk.

Alex can’t stop smiling.

Henry lifts his eyes from the papers he’s working on. He raises an eyebrow in question.

Alex can see exhaustion written clearly over his face. 

(Sam was right. He does seem… somber.)

“Did you see?” Alex asks. 

Henry frowns. “Er…”

There’s an element of shock there too. In his eyes. They’re wide and clearly caught off guard. 

Henry looks back down at his paper. 

(It’s for the best. Alex was starting to get lost in them. The blue abyss of Henry.)

“We got approved.” Alex takes a few more steps closer to Henry’s desk. 

Henry’s face stays downturned for a moment before he realizes. 

His eyes open wide and his eyebrows shoot up. “ _Really?_ ” He stands up behind his desk, hands on either side of a stack of papers. 

Alex nods. 

Henry darts around the table, rushing to Alex, and it feels right and Alex’s chest feels full and happy and-

_He stops._

His hands are reaching for him, like he’s about to-

“What?” Alex asks, confused.

He can feel his heart.

_Thump, thump thump._

Alex wants it- wants _Henry._

Henry shakes his head and lowers his hands. With every inch they fall Alex’s heart does the same. 

It aches. 

They don’t know how to operate this. It’s been so weird. 

Alex just wants it to be normal again. He just doesn’t know _how_ to do that. How can he go back to when Henry returned and kiss him senseless. 

How can he go back to that day when Henry left frantically and say-

“Can we talk, Alex?” Henry whispers.

Henry’s face looks anguished. Fear spikes in Alex’s chest as he nods. 

Henry walks around him and closes the door, turning to face him. 

_I love you_ , Alex thinks. 

And he realizes, as the terrifying feeling that Henry is truly done with him creeps up his spine, that he shouldn’t have been so stupid. 

Henry takes a seat at the desk across from where Alex is standing. 

Alex swallows, choking back the tears that threaten to pour out. 

Alex feels the regret pour out of him. 

_Idiot._

He was such an idiot, to think that maybe…

_Maybe he deserved this._

Love.

_Henry._

But mostly, as he stares into Henry’s blue eyes, filled with a sadness Alex can’t bear to understand.

He wonders…

_Why was he trying to deny this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Have a happy holiday everyone!
> 
> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


	27. Cheesy Romance, Nosey Custodians, and A New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry needs to talk to Alex, sparking anxiety and hail marys.

Henry sits across from Alex, solemnly looking down at the desk he’s seated at. There’s a rose scratched into the corner. Probably some kid with a pair of scissors and too much time on their hands. 

Alex looks down at his desk. (There’s a tiny _fuck_ scratched on the edge of his. Certainly something they’ve all missed before now.) (Alex can’t help but feel it to be fitting for the situation.) He clears his throat, feeling his once bright smile begin to fade.

He took a seat eventually. After a few moments where his heart beat hard in his chest. When the joy twisted into fear. Into loss. 

_He fucked this up_.

All of this time Alex was afraid of Henry. Afraid that he already didn’t care.

And now that he’s sitting with him, Henry’s face contorted into something that Alex never wants to see again (Never wants to be the _cause_ of again.)

_Can we talk?_

Three words that could spark anxiety in _anyone_. 

_Especially_ Alex.

And especially when they’re coming from Henry.

(There are so many other combinations of three words that Alex would like to hear from Henry instead.) ( _Have you eaten?_ ) ( _David says hi._ ) ( _Have some coffee.)_

There’s one other three word phrase Alex would prefer. But he can’t let himself think about that right now. Not when Henry’s looking the way he is. (Heartbroken.) (Sad.) (Like he’s too tired for this conversation.)

Alex swallows. “What did you want to talk about?”

Henry sighs, looking at his fingernails, examining them like he might find answers beneath his cuticles. When he raises his head and makes eye contact, Alex wants to look away.

(He doesn’t.)

Not _now_.

“What’s happening?” Henry asks softly. 

Alex opens his mouth, ready to respond with questions. _What do you mean, H? We just got approved by the board!_ That’s _what’s happening!_

But it catches in his throat.

Now isn’t the time to play dumb, or to avoid the topic at hand. Alex knows what Henry means.

“I—”

“I thought we were getting along fine?” Henry says, a small inflection making it sound like a question. Alex tries to answer, but Henry continues. “Better than fine, really. I even thought that—” He shakes his head. Alex wants to pry him open like a book, read every page of his mind and figure out what it holds. What he _thought_. But he keeps it to himself, letting Henry have the moment. (He’d let Henry have anything, really. Everything.) “But it changed when I went to London to be with my sister.”

A breath lingers in the air, words that multiplied themselves in Alex’s brain for weeks. Emotions and thoughts that built themselves a home in the inner corners of his mind seem so small now that he’s about to say them out loud. 

Nora’s voice creeps into his brain. How she called him out for running away from what he _clearly_ wants.

“I—”Alex clears his throat, catching on the emotion building within him. A custodian walks by the door, wheels of their cleaning cart squeaking as they pass. “I thought you left me.” His voice is small. He _feels_ small. “I waited for a response and nothing happened. My brain kind of…” _Spiraled? Went to shit? Broke?_ “Filled in the gaps with a story that may not have been correct.”

Henry frowns. “What story?”

Alex takes a deep breath. This part is never easy. He can talk circles around anyone about politics, about history—hell even about the type of bread one should use when making sandwiches.

(White for peanut butter and jelly. Wheat for anything with vegetables.) 

Feelings, though? That’s where it’s messy. Where emotions tangle everything up and he can’t tell the difference between fact and heart.

“That you didn’t actually feel the same as I did,” Alex provides. “That everything in my head that I thought we were—”he clears his throat. A vacuum sounds off in the next classroom. “Should we do this somewhere else?”

Henry shakes his head. “No. Here. Now. Alex _tell me_.” He looks desperate. His eyes are red, his voice filled with emotion. A man on the edge. (He’s still lovely, though, Alex thinks.) (Always lovely.) “ _What_ did you think I felt?”

“I thought that—” He stammers. _I thought you loved me._ (No. He can’t say that. That’s too much. Too intense.) (He can _think_ it, but never say it.) “I thought we were on the same page.”

“What page is that, then?” Henry asks. His voice is tight, anger bubbling under the surface. (Anger at Alex? At the circumstance?) “Because I thought we were on _the same page_ too.”

Alex starts to flounder, not sure what the correct response is.

His brain can’t think of any words.

His heart beats loudly in his chest. It’s screaming, practically.

_Tell him_ , it says.

(Hearts, they always want to be heard.) (But now’s not the _time_ for that.)

_Well, when_ is _the time?_

Alex shakes his head and opens his mouth to respond with...well… _anything_. But the door to the classroom opens. 

A lady with a cleaning cart and a vacuum walks in, nodding her head to whatever sound is coming from her earbuds. When she looks up and sees the two of them, she freezes.

“Oh—”she begins, pulling a bud out of one ear. “I’m sorry I—”

“That’s okay, Maura,” Henry mutters. “We were just leaving.” He stands up and walks back to his desk, gathering his things. Alex still sits at the table, frozen in place. Heart still beating out of his chest—desperate to be heard. “Alex. When you figure it out, you know where to find me.” 

He walks out.

Alex’s brain is still catching up, but his feet act of their own accord. They carry him out of the room, nearly knocking over a bottle of cleaning solution and a broom, and follow Henry out of the room.

His heart continues to beat. Alex’s mouth opens.

_If you’re not going to do it, I will_.

“I love you!” He shouts down the hall. Henry freezes.

Alex’s heart calms, soothed at last. (It said it. It said the words it's wanted to for a long time.)

Then, it spikes again.

Alex never meant for those three words to come out like this. Like a hail mary tossed into the abyss. A hope to salvage what might have been.

“I love you,” he says softer this time. Because he’s already said it. Because there’s a sharp panic building beneath his throat, and he hopes that repeating those words will help quench whatever it’s looking for. (It works for a second.) (It’d work better if he knew for certain Henry would say them back.)

Henry’s eyes meet his own.

“Alex—”

“Please. Just—” He takes a deep breath. “Can we take this back to my apartment? Yours? Hell even the parking lot. I’ll sit in your fucking Prius and tell you all the ways I love you.”

Now that they’ve come out, they can’t stop. 

_I love you I love you I love you._

Henry lets out a long exhale, examining his shoes. Alex turns back to Henry’s classroom to see the custodian’s head drop suddenly. She turns the vacuum back on, quickly pretending to not watch the scene unfold.

He’d be upset on the intrusion, but he’d have done the same. ( _Fuck_ when did his life turn into some fucking cheesy rom com?) (Is his entire self just molding into some kind of brown John Cusack?) (What’s next? Holding a boombox above his head outside of Henry’s apartment?)

Henry turns and begins to walk. Alex feels defeated, like he’s lost everything. That his hail mary failed. (Where’s that fucking rosary when he needs it?)

But then he says “Come on, Diaz. I’ll order takeaway.”

And Alex has never followed him faster in his life. 

____________

They don’t drive together. Alex follows Henry, who surprisingly drives to Alex’s apartment. (He tries momentarily to panic about what it means.) (But even _he_ knows he’s reaching.) 

Walking up stairs and down the hallway is awkward. Alex isn’t sure what to say. ( _Tell him you love him.)_ ( _Shut up, heart._ ) 

Fumbling keys. Soft footsteps on carpeted floors.

The soft haze of the evening sun pouring in through his window. 

The fact that Henry is here still willing to talk indicates good things, right?

“Alex,” Henry murmurs, sitting on the couch. 

“You don’t have to say it back.” Alex sits on the coffee table, knees parallel to Henry’s. 

Henry frowns, opening his mouth to speak.

“It’s okay if you don’t.” Alex clears his throat. “Love me, that is.”

Henry’s frown deepens, his face beginning to look completely taken aback. Offended at the words Alex is speaking. “Alex. When have I, in the time we’ve been together, ever acted like I was anything but completely and utterly in love with you?”

Alex pauses, mouth hanging open. “You—”

“Love you, yes.” A sigh. “I thought—well… I’m not sure what I thought.” He shifts on the couch, blue eyes meeting brown. His hands reaching for Alex’s. 

The evening has been filled with intense emotions, joy mixed with fear and desperation. At hearing Henry say he loves him back, however, Alex feels something in his chest loosen. 

But it’s not over yet. The talk, that is. While they’ve both admitted to their feelings, nothing’s finalized. There’s no definitive statement saying that their feelings have led them to anything more than what they are now—two men, sitting in Alex’s living room. Confused and hurt.

“I’m sorry,” Alex murmurs. “I—” He freezes. It’s been a night of incomplete sentences and not well thought out plots. Henry would certainly go through the scene of events with a red pen and hack it apart if he could. “I let everything from my past flood my brain.” Alex moves to the couch to sit next to Henry. He removes a hand from his grasp, allowing himself the risk of pushing back a bit of blonde hair from his forehead. (It’s nice to feel between his fingers again. Soft and lovely.) (Henry lets him, leans into the touch even.)

It’s what gives Alex the final push to say all the words he keeps inside. To share with Henry what he barely shares with anyone else.

That even _he_ is weak. That he needs help sometimes.

“I’ve been working through so much this year.” He drops his hand. (Henry catches it.) “What I want to do with my future. Where I want to go. How to change these kid’s lives in a positive way.” Alex pulls his legs up onto his seat, turning his body to completely face Henry. “I thought it was simple. That I’d be here for my year, help June out. Reset my brain. But then… everything changed.”

Henry shifts to mirror Alex, raising an eyebrow in question.

“I started to _like_ this stupid fucking place.” _Love, really_. “The kids, the teachers, hell even fighting for this fucking class with you.” A sigh. “And I met _you_. Which… well. It really rocked my world, didn’t it?” Alex sees a small smirk come over Henry’s face. A small victory this evening. “I thought I hated you. That you were the most infuriating man I’d ever seen. But then you had the audacity to make me fall in love with you.” He’s said it once and now the phrase keeps falling from his lips like a mantra. Like it’s trying to make up for all the times he hadn’t said it before.

_I love you I love you I love you._

“And I—I don’t know. I think I was afraid. Because I had this fucking plan, and thought I was going to Georgetown—” Realization hits. “ _Fuck_ Georgetown.”

What’s he going to do about Georgetown?

“Alex, I care deeply for you. But I don’t think I can continue to put myself in a situation where I’m going to get frozen out.”

Alex lets out a deep exhale, pondering what he can do. 

“Henry. These past few weeks have been awful. I constantly wanted to run and tell you dumb stories about my students, or ask you about your sister. But everything that happened—every interaction we had—felt stifled. I felt like there was no feasible way for me to get unstuck. But I won’t let that happen again.”

A pause.

“I love you,” he whispers.

A breath.

“I love you too, Alex.”

He leans forward, a question in his eyes, waiting for Henry’s permission. It comes quickly in eyes closing softly, in his body shifting closer. Alex lets his eyes close all the way, allowing his lips to meet Henry’s. (It’s been too long since he’s let himself have this.) Alex can’t help but wonder, as his hands move to Henry’s jaw and his body shifts forward, leaning above him, why he kept himself from this for so long. Why he denied himself instead of succumbing to everything.

As Henry lifts himself up to let Alex slip his shirt off, Alex swears he’ll never make that mistake again.

He kisses down Henry’s chest, murmuring promises into flesh that he intends to keep. 

_I promise I promise I promise._

Whispering confessions against soft skin. Telling him all the ways Alex has always been undeniably in love with him.

_I love you I love you I love you._

And when they end in bed, limbs tangled amongst limbs, nothing but moonlight and the sound of cars far away on the road around them—Alex feels it. A new start.

A beginning. Solid this time. A structure built on a foundation of promises and agreements.

There are more conversations to be had. Georgetown to be sorted out and all. But it’s a start. 

He feels relief, kissing Henry’s cheek. His neck. His shoulder. 

_Henry loves him._

Something Alex _knew_ but didn’t let himself believe. Didn’t let himself _have_.

But he doesn’t plan to ruin that ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr!](http://tumblr.com/blog/caitybuglove23)


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